Off! the Wall 8-Ball

Wednesday, May 7, 2003

May questions

Submitted by Greg Levrault

Do I have a final tomorrow?

SIGNS POINT TO YES

Is there any way I can ace it?

NO

What if I cram tonight?

VERY DOUBTFUL

Even if I cram a sixer of Red Bull?

NO

What if I write the notes on various parts of my body?

ASK AGAIN LATER

Can I get the test off Ebay?

DON'T COUNT ON IT

Is that paper due tomorrow too?

SIGNS POINT TO YES

Think the professor will believe my computer crashed?

VERY DOUBTFUL

Maybe she'll think this big drool spot had the thesis under it.

YEAH RIGHT

Can I blame the dog?

NO

What about the cat? It likes to shred paper...

PERHAPS

But I'll still graduate, right?

CANNOT PREDICT NOW

Maybe get a job doing what I love?

NO

Or at least one with benefits?

NOT UNLESS YOUR IDEA OF A BENEFIT IS TAKING THE LEFTOVER FRIES HOME AT CLOSING.

Thanks, 8 Ball.

DON'T MENTION IT.

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