Funny Friday

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Posted by dchannes on Fri, Sep 28, 2012, at 1:38 PM:

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy. ;)

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    HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY AND DRIVE OTHER PEOPLE INSANE

    Submitted by Jonalee Echols from Bullard Texas.

    1. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

    2. Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Always wear them one day after your boss does. This is especially effective if your boss is the opposite gender.

    3. Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.

    4. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

    5. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN."

    6. When driving colleagues around, insist on keeping your car's windshield wipers running during all weather conditions to keep 'em tuned up.

    7. Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think."

    8. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers, then cc them to your boss.

    9. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."

    10. At lunchtime, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

    11. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."

    12. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

    -- Posted by dchannes on Sun, Oct 14, 2012, at 10:54 AM
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    Did you hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of lawyers?

    The terrorist threatened to release one lawyer every hour if his demands weren't met.

    /*****/

    Now that lawyers can advertise, says one reporter, you had better brace yourself for the following pitch from one who specializes in divorces:

    "Satisfaction guaranteed or your honey back. "

    -- Posted by fxpwt on Sun, Oct 14, 2012, at 1:59 PM
  • -- Posted by Old John on Mon, Oct 15, 2012, at 12:05 AM
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    I always liked Clem Kadiddlehopper.

    -- Posted by We Regret To Inform U on Mon, Oct 15, 2012, at 8:35 AM

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