Speak Out: Parents

Replies (27)

• Old John,

  I feel I must have grown up with the parents I needed, as I never wished for a different set. One of my biggest concerns was that something would happen to them. I remember praying that I would die before they did.

  While I cannot remember a single instance of embarassment, I am sure there must have been some, but nothing extreme.

  The only thing I can think of that I would like to say is Thank you and I Love You!

  Crazy things cross your mind at times. I remember finding a bit of information that indicated that I had a relative that came close to marrying another person and the thought crossed my mind.... who would I have been if this had happened?

  -- Posted by Have_Wheels_Will_Travel on Thu, Jan 19, 2012, at 10:59 PM

• I remember riding in the back seat of the old car with the rest of the older brood. All those late model cars were behind us waiting to pass the hillbillies going 40mpg. We all ducked down if that happened to be some of our school mates passing.

  Looking back now that seems so unimportant.

  -- Posted by Old John on Thu, Jan 19, 2012, at 11:11 PM

• I remember sitting in the back seat also... and we owned a pickup truck. My parents would probably be subject to arrest by today's standards. But it was an upgrade from the mules and wagon.

  -- Posted by Have_Wheels_Will_Travel on Thu, Jan 19, 2012, at 11:21 PM

• Never thought much about my parents in that light until long after I was grown and had children of my own.

  My mother was my main embarrassment ... except for the time I brought my date in to meet the parents. Daddy was sitting in his chair reading the newspaper, still in his fatigues. Date asked: "Are you in the Army?" My dad only glanced over the top of the paper and said, "No, I'm a boy scout." Later in life, I came to admire and enjoy my dad's dry sense of humor.

  Never wished for any other parents, though ... And many times a week, I wish I had been able to know Daddy better. Took growing up to realize how much I'd missed ... his humor, his steadiness, his determination to do his best for us, his loyalty to his children. So ... Daddy, I miss you every day, with a heart filled with love.

  -- Posted by gurusmom on Thu, Jan 19, 2012, at 11:33 PM

• Gosh, I've tried to write how I feel and I do paragraphs and paragraphs, and then I stop and tell myself, you really didn't ask for that. So here's the short version.

  As a child, I had the parents I was supposed to have, and I am so grateful that I did. I never knew they were anything but right, even as I smarted from some decision or the other and those times were few and far between. For the most part, they seemed so much more fair than some of my friends parents.

  I suppose the one I didn't get to tell how much he meant was my dad....he died in his fifties, and I wasn't ready. I wonder if we ever did say we loved one another. I don't remember it. Whether or no, I'll say it now. I love you, Dad.

  Adulthood was another matter. In Mom's mind, I guess I was 12 years old until the day she died; but, I remembered that she was the one who always said children should grow up and move 3,000 miles away from their parents. I knew she was aware I had to live my own life.

  I love you, Mom.

  -- Posted by InReply on Fri, Jan 20, 2012, at 1:29 AM

• I grew up with the best parents ever. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of them and I miss my parents. They were harding working blue collar middle class people and they taught us kids what a hard days work was and also said if you work hard you will succeed in life. My parents believed in disclipine and responsibilty and that is exactly what they taught me and my brothers.

  -- Posted by swampeastmissouri on Fri, Jan 20, 2012, at 6:42 AM

• I'm lucky enough to do a blog about growing up in Cape where I have a forum to write about my parents and grandparents. It's given me an opportunity to think about how special they were (and are, in the case of my Mother, who just turned 90).

  Here are a couple pieces I did on Dad:

  http://www.capecentralhigh.com/cape-photos/l-v-steinhoff-my-dad/

  http://www.capecentralhigh.com/cape-photos/people/thinking-of-dad/

  It's amazing how many people shared comments about their own families.

  I've written so much about Mother that I couldn't list them all, but I think this piece sums up her sense of humor.

  http://www.capecentralhigh.com/cape-photos/entertainment/dont-stare-at-my-mother...

  My Grandmother was a special woman, too. She and three of her gal pals took off on a 10-day tour of the West in the days when women just didn't do that kind of thing. Here's a collection of photos and stories about Roy and Elsie Welch from Advance.

  http://www.capecentralhigh.com/cape-photos/people/elsie-this-is-your-life/

  -- Posted by ksteinhoff on Fri, Jan 20, 2012, at 7:47 AM

• ksteinhoff, Thanks for posting. I enjoyed.

  -- Posted by Old John on Fri, Jan 20, 2012, at 10:30 AM

• I cannot recall at anytime in my youth looking at anyone else's parents and saying "I wish _they_ were my parents". Thus, I have to think I had the parents I wanted. I can't say positively I was always the child _they_ wanted... ;)

  I survived childhood without any major calamaties. I had a good life growing up, a good life after I grew up, and I have a good life now. Thus, I would also have to say I had the parents I needed. Any parents that can steer a child through all the hazards of world and deliver them safely, sanely, and soundly into adulthood I would say are the parents that child needs.

  -- Posted by Shapley Hunter on Fri, Jan 20, 2012, at 10:45 AM

• Ksteinhoff,

  Wow! You kept me busy for awhile. Thanks for sharing your memories. Great reading. You nearly made me homesick... but not enough to leave the 70+ degree weather I am enjoying at the moment.

  I noticed Paul Corbin's name show up a number of times. I understand he has fallen and broken a hip. He is recovering in the Advance Nursing Home. I am sure he would like to hear from his friends.

  Again, great stories.

  -- Posted by Have_Wheels_Will_Travel on Fri, Jan 20, 2012, at 11:12 AM

• Wheels,

  Thanks for the kind words. It's 72 here in West Palm Beach and I just turned the ceiling fan on to help out the breeze coming through the open windows.

  I hadn't heard that about Paul Corbin. I'll have to check on him. He's a regional treasure.

  -- Posted by ksteinhoff on Fri, Jan 20, 2012, at 11:39 AM

• Ksteinhoff,

  It's only 71 degrees here in Gulf Shores, Alabama, but I am still not going back to Missouri until it warms up. Yes Corbin is a treasure and I hope he comes out of this OK.

  -- Posted by Have_Wheels_Will_Travel on Fri, Jan 20, 2012, at 1:47 PM

• I introduced this thread thinking it would generate some fun to read and telling response of what qualifies as great memories of parents from different perspectives. Indeed it has!

  I had planned to offer some insightful recall reflecting a balance of wise teachings, pride in family and close knit love overcoming all hardships and ills.

  That just don't seem to fit. The Waltons we were not, but I will keep looking to the past as the memories of good times have a way of rising to the top.

  -- Posted by Old John on Sat, Jan 21, 2012, at 6:37 PM

• Thanks for this thread, Old J. Made me do more 'reflecting' on my youth, my parents and even siblings ... and at the same time, to look back on my parenting days and wonder what my children might have posted.

  -- Posted by gurusmom on Sat, Jan 21, 2012, at 8:13 PM

• I am not sure what reminded me but I thought about Grandma's butter. She always came across as prideful in her proper ways. Children were encouraged to enjoy her well planned meals and scumptious desserts but were prohibited from helping themselves to the butter. I suppose she took extra pride in her butter mold thus requiring adults only to slice off a pat of that golden and tastey delight to melt on hot bisquits or mix with the home made sorgam. Even the adults were careful to cut square and smooth.

  Dad's folks had a stately 2 1/2 story house built by a cousin of local claim to fame for quality above average houses. The attic floor or 1/2 story as I call it was open to children with a sewing room, another room useable as a bedroom or storage and one off limits and always locked.

  It wasn't until the old house was beyond repair and replaced with a new house by new owners did I learn the secret of the forbidden room. Seems that is where Grandmother kept her [for lack of proper words] bodice form or bust used to check fit and pattern proper sized clothing being made.

  Along with her properness, Grandma was a modest lady too! :)

  -- Posted by Old John on Fri, Feb 3, 2012, at 11:00 AM

• Old John,

  I also remember Grandma's butter. She never had a butter mold but would use a small bowl to shape it and the when it was properly done she would finish it off by creating her own design of a flower or something, in the top with a spoon. Same way with pie crusts before they were baked. Served a decorative purpose as well as an escape for the steam when they were baking.

  Not that I really cared as a child.... just gimme a piece of that pie. ;-)

  Now it goes kind of like a friend said his kids told their Mother... you thaw a good pie Mom!

  Rick,

  You are not off topic and that was the way my parents raised me as well.

  -- Posted by Have_Wheels_Will_Travel on Fri, Feb 3, 2012, at 11:42 AM

• Rick, I don't remember any specific lessons on using thank you and other respectful terms of courteousy. I guess it was just learning by example. One thing my upbringing didn't expose me to was the use of Mr. and Mrs. except in formal meeting or toward people you didn't know well. Maybe that was because so many folks we enteracted with were close and on a first name basis.

  Remember Eddie Haskil of Leave it to Beaver? Sometimes over politeness can raise suspicion. :)

  -- Posted by Old John on Fri, Feb 3, 2012, at 11:48 AM

• Without saying something long-winded that I'd regret admitting later: I had good-parents, but I DID always favor Dad over Mom, which needless to say made a lot of arguments one-sided, to say the least.

  I was the "Black-Sheep" of the group, so to speak. I was NOT the shining-example of good-Christian upbringing, like my brother. And I was not musically-talented, either. But I was GREAT at the operation/maintenance of farm-equipment, and was a darned-good shot with an open-sight rifle, and was dead-on accurate with a shotgun.(Groundhog-Stew was/still would be good, if it's cooked-up right!)And, like Dad, I could(still can)cook, IF I just have to.

  Dad was quite free-handed, when it came to ORGANIZED-religion---even though he was American-Synod Lutheran by-birth---and tolerated a lot of "normal-male" behavior---at least until it violated even his flexible-rules.

  Mom, on the other hand, was VERY-staunch Southern Baptist. I was a morbid-disappointment to her, in that way. Hence, I was never encouraged to participate in Summer Youth Camps, or retreats. To HER, I was just an immoral-heathen. Maybe she was right---but, that'll be for God to judge.

  But still I love them BOTH-equally, in life and death. Alzheimers claimed my Dad, and Mom from a weakened/broken heart, not long after Dad passed-on. And even in-death, there were things that brothers AND sisters-both would learn, from "things" that were found in the estate. To have been such a loving-Mom, she sure was vindictive!(And, Dad was no "Ward Cleaver" himself---although to ME, that was no secret!)☺

  Enough of that! I grew-up, toughened-up, and moved out and on. I was pretty-close to my elder-sister up till her death, but since then haven't seen the few of the family left. And, that's GOOD, I suppose: I went MY-way---they went THEIRS. End of this (his)tory.

  Except to say, that if I WAS a "Ward Cleaver"?

  Man, how I'd LOVED to have been able to re-write that script, with "Eddie Haskel"......!!!☺

  -- Posted by donknome-2 on Fri, Feb 3, 2012, at 2:02 PM

• Donk,

  I kinda know where your coming from. My mom was a christian lady through and through. She never missed a Sunday morning, evening or Wednesday service. Dad never cared for church service, figured he could read the word on his own and didnt need anyone to explain it to him.

  I was the oldest, had 2 brothers, lost one very young. I was in the woods or the fields with dad and grandpa from the time I could walk. My brother had to be forced at the end of a switch to do any manual labor. Even when he was persuaded to work, he usually tore up more than his work was worth.

  Dad made a deal early on in our lives with mom that she could have my brother to parade around church functions and groom as she saw fit, and he would take me on as his work mule.

  Everyone ended up happy with the deal. Mom didnt have to fight with me to wear my sunday clothes and dad didnt have to fix all the gate post my brother would knock over with the wagon.

  -- Posted by Joe Dirte on Fri, Feb 3, 2012, at 3:02 PM

• 5:04 PM post on Parents thread?

  "hee-hee-hee" Those with any honor find find little humor in treason.

  -- Posted by ratiocination on Fri, Feb 3, 2012, at 6:28 PM

• JOE DIRTE: Ha! Loved your 'comeback'!

  Now, Grandma was yet ANOTHER 'piece-of-work'. All of us except for the youngest---she passed before he was born---were Grandmas' personal headaches. And, she LOVED every minute of it!

  (Ever fry eggs, then bacon, and finally toast, on a coal-stove? It's not a pretty-sight!☺)

  "Middle-Sis" used to refer to it as 'Grandmas' Boot-Camp'---but we wouldn't have missed it for the world!

  Besides, there was absolutely NO-comparison.

  In real boot-camp, I had NEW-clothes, a personal bed, and was fed three-times a day.

  And I still have an 'addiction' to O.D.-green, and drab, dull-colors....!☺

  -- Posted by donknome-2 on Fri, Feb 3, 2012, at 7:36 PM

• Before super glue allowed youngsters to glue a quarter to the side walk and laugh at those that tryed to pick it up, there were several other worthwhile pranks. One was placing a purse on the edge of the pavement and watching cars screech to a stop and back. When someone went to get the purse a fishing line would reel it away just as they reached for it.

  Dad fell for that one time. He said lookie there, some dumb woman left her prurse on top of her car! When came back empty handed we all got that lowered brow and stern look that meant we best not say a word, now or later. :)

  -- Posted by Old John on Sat, Feb 4, 2012, at 12:13 AM

• I must clarify the above with this: I am confident that if that had not been a prank and the purse was retrieved, it would have been returned fully intact.

  Now that I think about it, was that the true story or was the purse picked up and opened to reveal a cow patty. Anyway it was one of those funnies where you just had to be there!

  -- Posted by Old John on Sat, Feb 4, 2012, at 12:24 AM

• My parents were not perfect but then again neither am I.

  My dad taught me a good work ethic. He taught me to go to work every day and to be on time. hard labor was not a bad thing and to treat your coworkers the way you want to be treated. He had a 3rd grade education and became the boss of a person who went to college. That person later on told dad he learned more from him than he did in school. Dad served his country in WWII and sent home money to his family while providing for mom and my brother. Family was important to him and he taught me that also.

  Mom was a stay at home mother. She taught me how to cook, wash clothes, clean house and under no circumstance to hit a lady. She was abused as a child but never abused us. She would whip us if we messed up but did not abuse us.

  I am the youngest of 4 and now I am the father of 2 boys. Mom is gone now and dad is in the last days of his life. He is 92 and I know the time is coming when I will get that call that he is gone.

  I know growing up there was times I didnt understand why they did things the way they did them but I would not change anything for different parents. We were taught love and respect. Material things did not matter.

  I can only hope I was that kind of parent to my kids.

  -- Posted by mightymo on Sat, Feb 4, 2012, at 6:12 AM

• Mo,

  My Father managed to get through 5th grade before they pulled him out of school altogether. He was the oldest boy in a family of 10 children. He was required to stay at home and help on the farm.

  My question, How did our Fathers and Mothers learn parenting without a special college course?

  You don't sound like you are on drugs and I have never been to prison.....

  -- Posted by Have_Wheels_Will_Travel on Sat, Feb 4, 2012, at 9:48 AM

• Wheels, Mo, My dad had a 6th grade education. I have his 6th grade math book and it covers all the stuff I was supposed to learn in Algebra II. The difference was it used real life examples instead of X,Y&Z. How much board feet of lumber will you need to build a corn cribb 20'X.....? How many 36"X 16' cypress logs will be needed...?

  Mom nor Dad were great mathmaticians but I have a brother inlaw with less formal education that can tell you how many tons of silage a silo will hold doing all the figuring in his head.

  I asked Dad why Grandpa built his chicken house at an angle or not in line with the house and he replied in a scolding way, "That's common sense boy!" It took me a while to figure out it had to do with the windows, roof overhang, and the angle of the sun in summer and winter. I guess the house was built wrong to line up with the road. :)

  -- Posted by Old John on Sat, Feb 4, 2012, at 10:20 AM

• "We were introduced to algebra earlier than the 6th grade,..."

  Is that when the term "modern math" came about?

  -- Posted by Old John on Sun, Feb 5, 2012, at 9:42 AM