Speak Out: Freaking Funny Friday

Posted by We Regret To Inform U on Fri, Jun 17, 2011, at 8:59 PM:

Replies (32)

  • Our teacher asked us what our favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken."

    She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else in the class laughed.

    My parents told me to always be truthful and honest, and I am. Fried chicken is my favorite animal. I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA.

    He said they love animals very much.

    I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef. Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office. I told him what happened, and he laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again.

    The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was. I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, just like she'd asked the other children. So I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken.

    She sent me back to the principal's office again. He laughed, and told me not to do it again. I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn't like it when I am.

    Today, my teacher asked us to tell her what famous person we admire most.

    I told her, "Colonel Sanders."

    Guess where I am now...

    -- Posted by Have_Wheels_Will_Travel on Fri, Jun 17, 2011, at 9:08 PM
  • That was good wheels

    -- Posted by We Regret To Inform U on Fri, Jun 17, 2011, at 9:25 PM
  • Regrets,

    It came today from Canada via the internet. :-)

    -- Posted by Have_Wheels_Will_Travel on Fri, Jun 17, 2011, at 9:38 PM
  • Wheels, you ever been to Corbin, KY, the location of the original Col. Sanders Kentucky Fried Chicken location?

    -- Posted by voyager on Fri, Jun 17, 2011, at 9:56 PM
  • I had a friend that worked at the Sikeston KFC. Sanders came there and chewed everyone out about the gravy and left. He said C Sanders was flat out mean.

    -- Posted by We Regret To Inform U on Fri, Jun 17, 2011, at 10:01 PM
  • No Voyager I haven't. Isn't it somewhere south of Louisville?

    Which reminds me, I think John Young Brown of Louisville or his wife may have owned the franchise after the Colonel let go of it.

    Used to go to Louisville every January to a show. What a town, John Young Brown set out to find the world's best hamburger and came up with Ollie Glutkenhaus (spelling?) and his Ollieburger. He franchised, at least locally little street corner hamburger joints called Ollie's Trolley, built to look like an old trolley car. You walked in a single file line, bought and paid for your Ollieburger and when you received it you found yourself at the door leading outside. Sitting on a bench outside eating an Ollieburger in January wasn't classy dining but it was the best burger I have ever eaten. They were sold in this area briefly in one of the other chains owned by Brown... Lum's. Then they went the way of wide white walls.

    -- Posted by Have_Wheels_Will_Travel on Fri, Jun 17, 2011, at 10:08 PM
  • Voyager, Do you think in today's business climate a lasting franchise like KFC or McDonalds is likely? Sanders and the McDonald brothers were almost lost to history until Ray Kroc came along.

    The Col.'s secret spices may still be secret but he inspired a lot of other good chicken as did McDonalds inspire a lot of other good burgers.

    I could use a couple of those 15 cent burgers about now!

    -- Posted by Old John on Fri, Jun 17, 2011, at 10:13 PM
  • Old John,

    If you and I go to lunch, I'm buying... that way I get to choose the location, and it won't be McDonalds either. ☺ ☺ ☺ ☺

    Now breakfast is a differnet matter. I could do a Sausage Egg Biscuit right now. Problem is, better not get the urge for one of them at 10:01 am. or is it 11:01 am that you are out of luck until tomorrow.

    My personal preference is a restaurant that serves breakfast any time they are open,

    -- Posted by Have_Wheels_Will_Travel on Fri, Jun 17, 2011, at 10:19 PM
  • All you have to do is take some chicken to a lab and you will know the secret. You can't hide it anymore.

    -- Posted by We Regret To Inform U on Fri, Jun 17, 2011, at 10:19 PM
  • My personal preference is a restaurant that serves breakfast any time they are open,

    -- Posted by Have_Wheels_Will_Travel on Fri, Jun 17, 2011, at 10:19 PM

    Waffle House!

    -- Posted by We Regret To Inform U on Fri, Jun 17, 2011, at 10:21 PM
  • Don't eat in a waffle house often, so don't know if they all have this sign, but the one in Foley AL has a sign saying "Friends don't let Friends Eat Pancakes."

    -- Posted by Have_Wheels_Will_Travel on Fri, Jun 17, 2011, at 10:25 PM
  • They sent my Census form back!!

    In answer to the question, 'Do you have any dependents?',

    I put ...... 'Asylum seekers, illegal immigrants, crack heads, unemployablee jerks,

    the cast of The Jerry Springer Show, 80,000 people in our 133 penal establishments in Texas ,

    leftovers in Texas from Katrina, , Some of the Congress, most of the Senate and a Muslim President!'

    ................. Apparently this wasn't an acceptable answer.

    -- Posted by Have_Wheels_Will_Travel on Fri, Jun 17, 2011, at 10:27 PM
  • Wheels,

    Someone doesn't have a sense of humor!

    -- Posted by Robert* on Fri, Jun 17, 2011, at 10:33 PM
  • Stnsmn8,

    You would think truth and honesty would count for something!

    -- Posted by Have_Wheels_Will_Travel on Fri, Jun 17, 2011, at 10:35 PM
  • Whhels, When we visit family in the St. Louis area we sometimes hit a Denny's not far from the airport. Always OK. Not always so in Cape.

    I still plan to someday follow the "Rise of the Southern Bisquit". [or whatever it's called] Starts in Nashville and goes all through the south.

    I agree about the burgers today. Maybe it was because they were a new thing that I remember them so well,.. or was it the price that made'em taste good?

    -- Posted by Old John on Fri, Jun 17, 2011, at 10:49 PM
  • Old John,

    It will be 20 years in August since I ate in a Denny's. It was the day my Grandson was born and after the fact we went there for breakfast.

    I don't do foreign objects in my omlets.

    -- Posted by Have_Wheels_Will_Travel on Fri, Jun 17, 2011, at 11:11 PM
  • Wheels

    ..a chicken is the nastiest animal on the farm..they are the first ones to the cow piles...have you ever took a bite out of a chicken leg and seen black meat along the bone ?...that chicken has been to a cow pile...

    btw , chickens are dinosaurs

    -- Posted by Rick* on Fri, Jun 17, 2011, at 11:26 PM
  • Rick,

    TMI..... ;-)

    -- Posted by Have_Wheels_Will_Travel on Fri, Jun 17, 2011, at 11:30 PM
  • Wheels, We all have our dining stories. I came close to causing a scene once when I asked if I could get a different cup of coffee because the one just served was warm, not hot. The waitress stuck her finger in it and said it felt hot to her. That was in 1980 and the cheapest meal there was over $30. She was lacking a tip when we left.

    -- Posted by Old John on Fri, Jun 17, 2011, at 11:46 PM
  • Old John,

    Once in Louisville after we had been at a trade show all day, a few of us stopped at a bar for a beer. One of the guys said something kind of smartarsed to one of the B girls who came over and asked him to buy her a drink. She calmly pulled a hair, from where I will let you guess, and dropped it in the foam on his glass of beer and stomped off. First time I ever saw him speechless. The rest of us about rolled laughing at him.

    -- Posted by Have_Wheels_Will_Travel on Fri, Jun 17, 2011, at 11:55 PM
  • Wheels

    i walked into a bar one nite when the bar maid and a female customer where argueing about who gave the best oral sex....

    being the kind person i am , i proposed i should decide who was correct on this issue..

    some decisions are hard to make..

    -- Posted by Rick* on Sat, Jun 18, 2011, at 12:06 AM
  • Wheels, Never been there done that but once when stressed out with little time for lunch at a fast food joint I set my meal on the table and went to get my drink. When I returned I found two grandmotherly type ladies had trashed my food and took my table. I couldn't think of what to say or do, {guess I have always been a bit slow :)] so I just ordered again. The place was crowded so I asked if I could sit with them.

    Turned out to be a good lunch after all!

    -- Posted by Old John on Sat, Jun 18, 2011, at 12:34 AM
  • Wheels, Original Col. Sanders is south of Lexington, Ky, just off I-75 at Corbin which is about 28 miles north of the Tenessee line. Think the place is a museum now.

    -- Posted by voyager on Sat, Jun 18, 2011, at 11:34 AM
  • -- Posted by Rick* on Sat, Jun 18, 2011, at 2:18 PM
  • A skeleton goes in a bar. The bartender said "what will you have?" The Skeleton says bring me a beer and a mop.

    -- Posted by We Regret To Inform U on Sat, Jun 18, 2011, at 10:40 PM
  • An old prospector shuffled into the town of El Indio , Texas leading an old tired mule. The old man headed straight for the only saloon in town, to clear his parched throat. He walked up to the saloon and tied his old mule to the hitch rail.

    As he stood there, brushing some of the dust from his face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.

    The young gunslinger looked at the old man and laughed, saying, "Hey old man, have you ever danced?"

    The old man looked up at the gunslinger and said, "No, I never did dance... Never really wanted to.."

    A crowd had gathered as the gunslinger grinned and said, "Well, you old fool, you're gonna dance now," and started shooting at the old man's feet.

    The old prospector, not wanting to get a toe blown off, started hopping around like a flea on a hot skillet.

    Everybody was laughing, fit to be tied.

    When his last bullet had been fired, the young gunslinger, still laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon.

    The old man turned to his pack mule, pulled out a double-barreled shotgun, and cocked both hammers. The loud clicks carried clearly through the desert air.

    The crowd stopped laughing immediately. The young gunslinger heard the sounds too, and he turned around very slowly.

    The silence was almost deafening.

    The crowd watched as the young gunman stared at the old timer and the large gaping holes of those twin 10 gauge barrels. The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in the old man's hands, as he quietly said, "Son, have you ever kissed a mule's arse?"

    The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, "No sir...... But.. I've always wanted to."

    There are a few lessons for us all here:

    Never be arrogant.

    Don't waste ammunition.

    Whiskey makes you think you're smarter than you are.

    Always, always make sure you know who has the power.

    Don't mess with old folks, they didn't get old by being stupid.

    I just love a story with a happy ending, don't you?

    -- Posted by Have_Wheels_Will_Travel on Mon, Jun 20, 2011, at 1:15 AM
  • There once was a pervert named Weiner

    Who had a perverted demeanor

    Forced from the Hill

    For acting like Bill

    Now Congress is one weiner leaner

    -- Posted by We Regret To Inform U on Tue, Jun 28, 2011, at 10:04 PM
  • Regrets,

    Did you hear that Weiner is going to run for President?

    He is going to have Eric Holder for a Vice Presidential candidate.

    It will be the Weiner - Holder ticket.

    -- Posted by Have_Wheels_Will_Travel on Tue, Jun 28, 2011, at 10:17 PM
  • Redneck Paintball Duck Hunt

    This has got to take a lot of beer!

    http://timmersomething.blogspot.com/2011/06/redneck-paintball-duck-hunting.html

    -- Posted by Have_Wheels_Will_Travel on Tue, Jun 28, 2011, at 11:25 PM
  • Wheels, How do you find this stuff? The old saying of been to 4 county fairs and ...... Ain't never seen nothing like it... or however it goes, might be obsolete now!

    -- Posted by Old John on Tue, Jun 28, 2011, at 11:35 PM
  • Old John,

    I got a lot of weird friends and they send me a lot of this stuff.

    I remember a saying that went something like "I been to a J. C. Penny Fire Sale, a Hog Calling at the County Fair and I ain't never seen nuthin like this". Seems like there was something else in there as well.

    -- Posted by Have_Wheels_Will_Travel on Wed, Jun 29, 2011, at 1:15 AM
  • Wheels, Yes, something not repeatable here.

    -- Posted by Old John on Wed, Jun 29, 2011, at 1:43 AM

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