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Saturday, November 21, 2009
Spring fever (11/20/09)
When I was growing up, water was a big deal. We needed water to drink, cook, bathe, wash clothes and irrigate the garden. We needed water for livestock too. The creek that came down the valley on the other side of the garden was dry most of the time. It took a deluge before any water would run down the creek. The creek was not a source of water for us. Most of our rural neighbors relied on springs...
Music magic (11/13/09)
Like many of you, I'm proud of what I do. I'm proud of my colleagues in the newsroom and throughout the newspaper organization who produce the Southeast Missourian. When we make mistakes, I'm proud of the way we make every effort to get it right. I'm proud of all the ways this newspaper, its owners and its employees are involved in their community. ...
Animal control (11/06/09)
When I was growing up on the farm on Killough Valley in the Ozarks over yonder, my life was organized by animals. Lulu, the milk cow, had to be milked every morning and every evening. In winter, hay had to be delivered to hungry cattle. Horses had to be tended...
The sage cat (10/30/09)
What I am about the tell you will come as no surprise to cat owners. Right off the bat I've misled you. There is no such thing as a "cat owner." Some folks who claim to have cats as pets also claim to "own" their cats. This, of course, is a lie perpetuated by humans with brains the size of grapefruits. Cats, with brains the size of plums, know better. Big-headed humans hate to admit that a small animal can be so much smarter than they are...
Take my advice (10/23/09)
The last time I had the flu was late winter in 1995. During my siege of illness -- this was a doozie case of flu -- friends of ours were married in our living room. Attending were out-of-town family members related to the bride and groom, of course, but I had never met most of these family members before. ...
Smart car (10/16/09)
There are plenty of folks who are smarter than I am. Any sixth-grader who can do his math homework without help from a parent or the Internet already has me beat. Heck, even Miss Kitty is, in so many ways, more cunning than her lap-provider. She has even taken to barking at me when I don't do what she expects. I think she learned that from the dog next door...
October moves (10/09/09)
My wife and I -- and our sons when they lived at home -- have moved more times than we like to count. But some of the moves we've made hold great memories. October historically has been moving month for the Sullivans. In October 1997 we moved into the house we currently occupy...
The eighth day (10/02/09)
And on the eighth day, God said, "Resting on the seventh day has some shortcomings, not the least of which is missing the first 17 minutes of '60 Minutes' because even though your DVR can tell time, it can't tell when the football game goes past 6 o'clock."...
Writing RIP (09/25/09)
I read somewhere this week that schools aren't emphasizing cursive writing these days. One school district said it only teaches cursive writing in the third grade. I suppose this bothers me most because it's another reminder of how long I've occupied this planet...
Show me the $ (09/18/09)
I am for progress. And I like historic buildings. Yes, it's possible to be for progress and preservation at the same time. The trick is to not let one impinge on the other. So, yes, I think the improvements along Broadway that Southeast Missouri State University has made are for the better. I do not miss the business buildings that were there before...
Another talk for students (09/11/09)
It's hard to say, for certain, what hidden menace lurked in the pep talk President Obama gave to young students on Tuesday. Millions of Americans, however, imagined something sinister. Many of them chose to excuse their sons and daughters from listening to ... ...
Automatic frustration (09/04/09)
I understand why businesses have automated telephone systems. Really, I do. That doesn't mean I like them. Some experiences with automated systems are good. Some are not. Sometimes I wonder if the owners or managers of businesses with frustrating automated systems ever call to test the system...
Get out. Enjoy great weather (08/28/09)
As usual, everyone is talking about the weather. What a year it has been, going all the way back to the first week in March, when spring arrived. This has been one of the most bearable years, weatherwise, in recent memory. Let's not get spoiled. The weather always changes...
Finding Dobby (08/21/09)
Some of you, I'll bet, are from families as mixed up as mine. My mother's family has outdoor reunions in August, a month when France shuts down. My mother's family is not French. My father's family, as far as I know, has never had annual reunions. While this may seem cold, I take comfort knowing Sullivans don't swat flies eating potato salad...
Health reform? No, revolution! (08/14/09)
Americans consume too much fat (the bad kind) and sugar and too little fiber, vegetables and grains. So what? Well, if the elected leaders of this nation really wanted to reform health care, wouldn't they start by encouraging us to all pitch in? Let's face it. You and I can't do much about pharmaceutical companies, insurance companies and doctors and hospitals. To be honest, I wouldn't know what to do with the pharma-medico-insurance complex. But I can do something about what I eat for lunch...
The shouting curse (08/09/09)
Something is happening to civil discourse in American politics, which has long been considered rowdy compared to its European cousins. The years-long U.S. presidential campaign process must look like a circus to observers in countries where a weeks-long parliamentary process chooses the head of government...
Caution: One lane (08/07/09)
All the usual back-to-school signs are sprouting up all around town. Street construction around the university is in full swing, reducing traffic to one lane or prohibiting convenient access. Street repairs have signaled the start of school for several years, cutting off the university just as students arrive for the fall semester...
If this is climate change, I'll make the best of it (07/31/09)
What a year this is for nekkid ladies. That said, this column could go in many directions. Don't let your imagination lead you too far astray. Many of you, particularly those who like to get dirt under your fingernails while working in the garden, know that if you say "nekkid ladies" at the end of July or early August, you're talking about a flower -- a particularly striking one at that...
The news that matters (07/26/09)
If it were possible, I would still be watching Walter Cronkite every evening. Like so many Americans, and certainly like so many viewers of KFVS12 in Southeast Missouri, the evening news on CBS was as much a part of our lives as "I Love Lucy." When the first TV set came into our house in the Ozarks over yonder, there was no such thing as recording devices that allowed you to record a TV program and then watch it at your leisure while zapping through commercials. ...
Lessons learned (07/24/09)
In 1972, my wife and I moved from Idaho to Nevada, Mo., a county-seat town in an agricultural county on the Kansas border. Our son's grandparents were in Missouri, and we decided we wanted to live near enough to them that they could see us more than once a year and spoil their grandson properly...
The Miss Kitty update (07/17/09)
Miss Kitty is annoyed. As a regular reader of the Southeast Missourian and this column in particular, our calico queen is miffed that she has not been mentioned for several weeks, much less had, as she feels she deserves, a starring role. Miss Kitty wonders, for example, why a make-believe downtown golf tournament deserves so much space...
To America (07/10/09)
The Fourth of July has come and gone for 2009, but it is a day that will be long remembered by thousands of new Americans who were sworn in as citizens during special holiday ceremonies. Sheila Faire was visiting the old courthouse, a landmark in downtown St. Louis, on the Fourth of July and watched the moving ceremony for 77 new citizens of our nation. She posted a great photo on semissourian.com and added these comments:...
Tournament help (07/03/09)
The volunteers who pitch in every year to make the Louis J. Lorimier Memorial World-Famous Downtown Golf Tournament and All-You-Can-Eat Catfish Buffet a success can always be counted on to make everything go just the way it should. This year, who knew the Great Weathermaker himself would join the team?...
Losing a governor (06/26/09)
South Carolina lost its governor this week. No, Gov. Mark Sanford didn't die. He was, well, sort of misplaced for a few days. He left on a Thursday and didn't tell anyone -- including his wife and four sons -- where he was going. No itinerary. No security. No temporary handing over the reins of state government...
Visiting Aunt Esther (06/19/09)
An easy 5 1/2-hour drive that only takes 7 hours will get you to Burlington, Iowa, a Mississippi River town tucked in the southeastern corner of the state that has a great deal in common with Cape Girardeau. My wife and I went there last weekend because my only surviving aunt lives there now, near a son and daughter-in-law. It was, except for the drive, a wonderful trip...
Let it rain (06/12/09)
My late brother lived, for several years, in Monterey, Calif., not far from Pebble Beach and its world-class golf. He did not golf. While a resident of Monterey, David came for a visit and was fascinated as he sat in our Cape Girardeau family room and watched the Weather Channel...
No free pass to get on the high court (06/07/09)
Just about everything I know about Judge Sonia Sotomayor comes from reading this newspaper. I am not a lawyer. I have no background in legal matters other than my own rare experiences with wills, trusts and probate matters. Which means I am as sufficiently qualified as most Americans to hold an opinion on Judge Sotomayor's nomination to the U.S. Supreme Court...
Who will be where when music stops? (06/05/09)
Cape Girardeau may well be ready to start a game of musical buildings. The U.S. government says the old federal building on Broadway is for sale, now that Washington bureaucrats have decided to reject the application of the Rev. Larry Rice to turn the building into a homeless shelter...
All that lawn loot (05/29/09)
Leave it to The Wall Street Journal to report on the multimillion-dollar boom in weeds that wind up on your dinner table. That's right: weeds. Who knew, until the Journal made a big deal on one of its section fronts Wednesday, that weed-eating shoppers forked out $2 million for dandelion leaves at U.S. grocery stores over a year's time?...
Reunited at last (05/22/09)
Here's how I came to know Jerome Westrich. Over the past several years I've joined a couple of colleagues here at the newspaper for an eye-opening cup of coffee at Brenda's Place on Morgan Oak Street. We're not the earliest customers, but we have watched a lot of sunrises at Brenda's...
Car makers in a muck (05/17/09)
Once upon a time in America, business decisions were made by private entrepreneurs. If they made good decisions -- what products to manufacture and sell, how much to charge, what service to offer, which parts to stock -- they could make lots and lots of money. If they made bad decisions, they went out of business...
Rice, band, pope - or downtown golf (05/15/09)
OK. Which of the following is NOT true:A. The Rev. Larry Rice of St. Louis announced this week that his New Life Evangelistic Center will donate $400,000 to United Way of Southeast Missouri to fund housing and other programs for the homeless. "I think local organizations that have been dealing with the needs of the homeless in your community are best equipped to meet those needs. ...
A day for laughing (05/10/09)
Dear reader In honor of our mothers, today's Opinion page is devoted to maternal optimism and good humor. If you can, love your mother and laugh with her. The sound of her laugh will be one of the memories you treasure most when the day comes that you can no longer enjoy a moment of humor together...
Keeping deer at bay comes with a price (05/08/09)
A while back, I reviewed for you my never-ending battle with wild animals, including my gentle wife's newfound dislike for Bambi's parents, who eat whatever she plants in the urns in front of our house. And before that I told you about Miss Kitty's new habit of rolling in the dirt...
A weekly band concert? Or a police officer to keep us safe for a week? You choose (05/03/09)
When Jay Knudtson became mayor of Cape Girardeau seven years ago, I'm sure he harbored some concerns about how he might be depicted in the newspaper -- specifically in this column. After all, I had, during the eight years Al Spradling stood at the city's helm, a great deal of fun at the mayor's expense. ...
Squirrel wars, Spokane-style (05/01/09)
By now you know that squirrels and I are not buddies. For years, the squirrels and I have been combatants in a duel of wits. I am smart enough to devise methods to keep squirrels from eating the expensive bird food I put in the feeders in our yard. The squirrels are smart enough to find a way to eat the bird food anyway...
Beauty everywhere (04/24/09)
Beauty. It can be seen, heard, imagined, experienced, felt. It's all around us. All we have to do is pay attention. --- Last Saturday evening my wife and I went to one of our favorite Cape Girardeau restaurants. As it turned out, it was prom night for one of the high schools, and the young women were radiant in their special hairdos, makeup and puffy formals. The young men appeared a mite less comfortable in their rented suits, cinched belts and lace-up leather shoes, but they were all handsome...
Choosing sides in the pizza war (04/17/09)
Pizza. It's not just something delicious to eat. It's also a fighting word. Blame President Obama. The man claims to be from Chicago. He mastered the art of Chicago politics. He walked the streets of Chicago as a community organizer. He wooed Chicago voters to win elections to the Illinois statehouse and then as a U.S. senator from Illinois. And Illinois voters -- most of them call Chicago home -- voted for Obama in last year's presidential election...
'The plan' is working (04/10/09)
In the 15 years I've lived in Cape Girardeau, I've had six doctors. No, I'm not a doctor shopper. All of these doctors have been affiliated with the same practice. For reasons known only to them, some of the doctors moved on to apply their medical skills in what I'm sure they considered to be greener pastures. One of the doctors retired...
Pig-Pen comes back as a spoiled feline (04/03/09)
Miss Kitty, our cat of unknown ancestry who now rules the Sullivan house as queen of all she surveys, has an annoying habit, one she is turning into a rebuke of those humans who fail to comply with her every command. Let's start at the beginning. Miss Kitty joined the Sullivan royal-free household a few years ago after being a stray. ...
Warning: She's armed (03/27/09)
My first wife and I are well into our fifth decade of marriage. You might think there's nothing under the sun we don't know about each other. That's exactly what I thought too. Until last week. Everyone knows that I detest squirrels. I've told you over the years about my battles to keep these pests away from bird feeders. I've tried just about every tactic I can think of to convince squirrels they are not welcome...
A touch of spring (03/20/09)
Spring raised the hem of her winter woolens this week and showed off her brilliant forsythia petticoat. Which means it's time to open the Sullivan patio for another season of lazy sessions of sitting on cushioned wicker furniture and listening to the gurgling water in the rock fountain while the scarlet cardinal belts out a territorial tune to taunt Miss Kitty, who pays no heed now that she gets to snooze on soft floral prints without being told to go to "your chair" in the family room, which has been the case for four cold winter months.. ...
Three well-lived lives (02/27/09)
Southeast Missouri is mourning and celebrating. It is mourning the deaths of three individuals while celebrating their many contributions that have brightened and improved the lives of so many others. n Mildred Wallhausen: Millie ran the weekly newspaper in Charleston, Mo., the Enterprise-Courier, for 40 years after the death of her husband, Art Wallhausen Sr. ...
The news about the economy isn't all bad, but it's sorely lacking (02/22/09)
If you bother to read all the way through this column, please do not presume that my intent is to bash the news media. I am part of the media, and I am proud of everyone who toils to keep you informed. But I think newspapers, TV and radio have, in some ways, done a terrible job of reporting on our current economic situation. The hype may have made things worse...
Miss Kitty's quirks (02/20/09)
Miss Kitty has had a good week. She has found more ways to toy with her humans. As you know, our calico cat is an outdoor cat who, thanks to the tender sympathies of my allergic wife, spends a lot of time indoors, particularly when the temperature is low...
New hopes and new ideas for Fort de Chartres (02/15/09)
I may be one of the few Southeast Missourians who was saddened and concerned when, several weeks ago, then-governor Rod Blagojevich announced he was closing several state parks in Illinois to help balance the severely out-of-whack state budget. One of those state parks is Fort de Chartres State Park in Randolph County, just up the road a bit from Chester...
OK, so I forgot (02/13/09)
Mea culpa: Have you ever noticed that when folks write letters of thanks for fundraisers and special community events, they don't list everyone by name "because they are too numerous to mention." That's not the real reason. The real reason is this: No matter how hard you try to remember everyone who needs to be thanked, you will forget someone. And there's a good chance the one you leave out is the one who deserved the most thanks...
A man of patience (02/06/09)
Patience is the reward of those who last long enough. As someone who has lived by newspaper deadlines for more than 40 years, I have never tolerated tardiness or detours well. Nor I have I been comfortable with the schedule-clogging pace of others. Now that I am comfortably advanced in birthdays, I am beginning to understand that my hurry-up life hasn't always been worth the frustration that comes from being a slave to punctuality. ...
The economy hits home (02/01/09)
At the regular Rotary lunch last week, the group at the early table -- ready to eat and nearest the door -- was catching up on the latest news and solving the world's problems. One of the club's most stalwart members announced that the recession had hit close to home: Two of his grandchildren, in Baltimore and St. Louis, were losing their jobs due to cutbacks...
A dozen presidents (01/25/09)
It's amazing to think that, in my lifetime, 12 U.S. presidents have been inaugurated: Truman, Eisenhower, Kennedy, Johnson, Nixon, Ford, Carter, Reagan, G.H.W. Bush, Clinton, G.W. Bush and Obama. As the nation moves on from an inauguration week filled with hope and excitement, I find myself processing tidbits of information about the dozen most recent presidents, some from my own memories and some from historical sources...
Driving, Part II (01/23/09)
In all my years of column writing — I've been doing it since 1971, longer than most folks wait to throw out socks with holes or saggy underwear — I don't think I've ever written a two-parter. Last week, as faithful readers already know, my column was about getting my driver's license at age 16 pretty much on a whim — and certainly unprepared in the eyes of everyone except the uniformed exam officer who signed off on my right to steer more than 3,000 pounds of metal, glass and chrome down twisting Ozarks roads at speeds considerably faster than a Ferguson tractor in high gear.. ...
Driving home (01/16/09)
Shortly after I turned 16, which was in another century, I saw an opportunity and seized it: I became a licensed driver in the sovereign state of Missouri. Before taking the written and driven exams, my motoring experience had been confined to a balloon-tire bicycle and a Ferguson tractor. I had driven my mother's Ford Fairlane with automatic shift fewer than a dozen times from the blacktop highway a mile down the gravel road to the farmhouse on Killough Valley in the Ozarks over yonder...
River City Journal: Fearless forecasts for the year ahead (01/02/09)
It will come as no surprise to any of you that the Sullivan household was fast asleep hours before the new year arrived at the stroke of midnight, which was either Wednesday night or Thursday morning. I never know which it is. But I stayed up long enough to reflect on some of the things we can expect in the new year. ...
Land of cotton (12/26/08)
I washed my hands. Honest, I did. But that didn't keep whatever it is that's going around from finding me. I call it the crud germ. More than a cold but less than the flu, it's enough to make you miserable without keeping you home from work. When it hit, I thought maybe my allergies were acting up. I tried to remember if I'd taken my morning dose of allergy medicine. I was pretty sure I had...
Branson: Even Old Matt wouldn't recognize the place (12/21/08)
Imagine falling into a deep sleep for more than 40 years. Then imagine waking up and finding the world has changed so much that you don't know where you are. My wife and I had this Rip Van Winkle experience last week. On purpose. Our story begins 42 years ago. We had been married for a year but had not had a honeymoon. I was a cub reporter and she was a first-year teacher. New jobs. New marriage. No money...
River City Journal: Fruitcake economics (12/19/08)
You've been reading and hearing about all those economic indicators. Maybe you're ready for an explanation of what's going on in the world of business, banking, investing and finance that you can actually understand. I have it in one word: Fruitcake...
Which JOE SULLIVAN are you trying to call? SORRY. Wrong number. (12/14/08)
A new telephone book arrived last week. If you got your new directory, I'll bet you did the same thing I did: You looked up your own listing. It would take an expert in human behavior to explain why, exactly, we do that. My home phone number hasn't changed. My name hasn't changed. My address hasn't changed. Still, I look at the new phone book just to be sure...
Highway 34: Turn left if you're going right (12/12/08)
When I was growing up, my family said Highway 34 was engineered by a black snake. If you look at the serpentine curves that go over and around the Ozark hills between here and Van Buren, Mo., you'll see why. And it hasn't changed much since then. I can remember when the new bridge across the St. Francois River went in near Sam A. Baker State Park. Highway 34 was realigned too, which meant a straight stretch of road...
Hip, hip, hooray! (12/07/08)
The recession we didn't know about is almost over, according to the experts. They should know. This is another column about the economy, so brace yourself. I give you fair warning for two reasons. Reason No. 1: It is not fair to subject you to commentary in this space on the economy two Sundays running...
A winter's tale (12/05/08)
Meteorological winter. That's what KFVS12's Bob Reeves, the most trusted name in weather, calls the cold spell that comes before winter officially arrives Dec. 21. I am not a winter person. Which is why I have started going to work long before dawn just so I can see daylight on the way home...
Joe's fairly simple plan (11/30/08)
From what little I know about economics, I can tell it involves math. I've never been ashamed to admit I am terrible at math. I only wish some of our know-it-all economists and financial wizards would be as forthcoming. As far as I can tell, predictions made by economists are as reliable as a November forecast for winter weather or a gambler's pick of who will win any game being played today...
O, Thanksgiving (11/28/08)
Another Thanksgiving -- another opportunity for memories, another occasion to be nice to a relative by marriage, another day when our automaking brethren have to struggle by on a $75-an-hour paid holiday -- has come and gone. Because I'm writing this column on Tuesday for deadline purposes, I can't provide many details about the Sullivan Thanksgiving of 2008 or how Miss Kitty spent most of the day crouched to pounce on the mouse that may or may not exist in the tall tangle of ivy in the flower bed next to the privacy fence.. ...
Don't forget the importance of student involvement and teacher involvement in school success (11/23/08)
My mother took an unusually keen interest in my childhood education. In addition to being my mother, she was my teacher from the fourth through the seventh grade. She taught at one-room schools in the Ozarks over yonder, and I was one of her students...
The vanishing calico: A mystery is solved (11/21/08)
If I had to describe Miss Kitty, the cat who owns the house my wife and I call home, in one word, it would be: too smart for her own good. You're right. That's six words. Close enough for bailout calculations. This has been an interesting week for the cat that managed to survive on her own quite well until she found a couple of softies who treat her like royalty...
It's the season for leaf monsters (11/07/08)
If, during those hectic final days of election season, you were paying any attention to what was going on in your own backyard, you surely were impressed by the colorful display of falling leaves. This is leaf season. For a lot of folks, this means raking leaves into huge piles -- and them jumping into them, often to find out a pile of leaves isn't always as soft as the mattress on your bed. But it's fun, so a few bumps and bruises are OK...
X-ray leaf tricks (10/31/08)
Scientists are amazing. And intriguing. I'm sure you've read or heard about the scientists who have discovered that Scotch tape, under the right circumstances, gives off X-rays. This is not an entirely frivolous finding, since scientists now believe they can make inexpensive X-ray devices that might be used, say, to treat tumors. That would be a good thing...
Angel on the loose (10/24/08)
Let's say, for starters, that we elected God every four years. And let's say that God appointed me, one of his big boosters, to be the angel of Cape Girardeau. What would I do? Where would I begin? These are easy questions, believe it or not. I've given quite a bit of thought to what I would do if I had any influence on anything. And I figure if I was God's hand-picked angel for this city, I would know exactly what to do first...
The 1952 campaign: Some lessons for bewildered voters (10/19/08)
The first presidential campaign I remember was the 1952 Eisenhower-Stevenson race. There are, it seems to me, some similarities between that contest and the one we are about to decide. In 1952, President Truman's popularity was in a nosedive. The Korean War had tapped the nation's military resources with no end in sight. ...
Sex, cats and blossoms (10/17/08)
Here are some things -- most of them don't amount to a hill of beans -- on my mind this week. n There was a front-page story Thursday about legal action seeking to overturn a state law involving Halloween and sex offenders. How bizarre is that? The new statute requires registered sex offenders to stay inside their residence on Halloween when children are out trick-or-treating. ...
Heavenly days, it's apple butter time (10/10/08)
Has the world got you down? Do the words "global financial crisis" make your teeth ache? Does your arthritis kick up when you read about golden parachutes for failed executives? Are you mad enough to kick the dog? If so, my friends, it's time to make some apple butter...
One ringy-dingy ... (10/03/08)
Frankly, I'm too old to learn how to use a new phone system. But as I look out into the newsroom just outside my office, I can see ominous stacks of brown cardboard boxes imprinted with a brand name that screams "computerized audio communications device."...
Bambi and his mom? Shoot to kill! (02/29/08)
Deer hunting in Cape Girardeau? Bring it on. Start at the Sullivan house. Please. Yes, I know there are some concerns about men, women and children armed with bows and quivers of arrows roaming the streets of our fair city stalking wild ruminants. But the deer lost my vote when they started showing up in packs. In our yard...
Laughing out loud (02/22/08)
One of the photographs accompanying last Monday's story about the women from Altenburg who have been cleaning other folks' houses since the Depression is on my desk. Every time I look at those four faces -- Arleen, Lillian, Betty, Myrtel -- my day improves. And if I look at the photo for longer than just a few seconds, I start laughing. Out loud...
The power of ice (02/15/08)
I've heard so many extraordinary stories since the ice storm arrived Monday night. I can't top them. Like so many of you, my wife and I listened in the darkness as ice-covered limbs crashed into our yard, down on our roof and onto a metal garden shed...
A TIRED bonanza (02/08/08)
Earlier this week the first annual and regular national convention of TIRED (ThisIsReallyEconomicallyDumb.gov.us) was held in our fair city. Delegates took up most of two tables at the coffee shop. It was during the course of the half-morning convention that some of the visiting delegates pointed out the obvious. Cape Girardeau has figured out something the rest of the nation has yet to learn. And we didn't even realize it. That's why it's always good to have outsiders come to town...
Politics, of course (02/01/08)
Fair warning on a wintery Friday: This entire column deals with politics. Feel free to skip it and go straight to the crossword puzzle if you've had your fill of campaign bluster. I understand. --- In recent days I've taken quite a number of calls from other ink-stained scriveners who want to talk about the presidential race and Missouri's newly charged sprint to the governor's mansion...
Fighting with Arnie (01/25/08)
I don't know why, but I feel like duking it out with editor Arnie Robbins at the St. Louis Post-Dispatch today. And, gentle readers, I must warn you that the topic of our dispute is executioners. Not a pretty thought as you're freshening your corn flakes with another dash of milk...
War in the basement (01/18/08)
What have we gotten ourselves into? By "we" I mean my wife and me. We have decided to do battle in the basement. Not with each other. With the clutter. It's more of a war, really, and we have quickly learned that there will be many skirmishes before we can stand on the freshly swept gray concrete in front of our "Mission accomplished!" banner...
Unhappy cooks (01/11/08)
Warning: If this column starts off sounding too much like Andy Rooney, I apologize. You already know that we humans are creatures of habit. And you know that our habits, good or bad, are hard to break. For example, I still salt just about everything I eat, except for desserts. It drives my wife crazy. She accurately points out that I should taste my food first to see if it needs salt. Heck, I know I like salty food...
A lesson for everyone from Aunt Minnie (01/04/08)
A few weeks ago, my wife's aunt, in her 90s, was the victim of a brutal assault during a home invasion. Aunt Minnie doesn't live in some urban neighborhood known for its crime statistics. She lives in Sedalia, Mo., a quiet town where such events are front-page news...
All about money (12/28/07)
Disclaimer: I am not a financial guru, certified or otherwise. Anything you read in today's column should not be construed as advice. Heck, I'm not sure if I did the multiplication correctly. But I'm honest. At a certain stage in your life, you find yourself thinking more and more about working less and less. ...
Remember? Christmas is always perfect (12/21/07)
The first Christmas I remember was in St. Louis when we lived in a second-floor apartment of a two-story house with a mansard roof not too long after the end of World War II. The girl who lived with her family in the first-floor apartment was the luckiest girl I knew...
Chimps. Humans. Cats. Which are the smartest? (12/14/07)
When the story about chimpanzees beating humans in a memory test flashed on the TV the other night, Miss Kitty was curled up in my lap doing what cats do best: dozing. But something about this story intrigued Miss Kitty. I could tell because she opened her eyes...
Christmas greetings from the Nie family (12/07/07)
WASHINGTON -- A new report from the National Intelligence Estimate concludes that Iran's nuclear weapons development program has been halted since the fall of 2003, a stark contrast to the conclusions U.S. spy agencies drew just two years ago. -- The Associated Press...
Lights out in River City: Call this number. Now! (11/30/07)
The fellows who are responsible for traffic lights in Cape Girardeau seem nice enough. Really, they do. These men politely answered all of reporter Peg McNichol's questions for a story that was published Tuesday. Some of these nice guys work for the city. Some of them work for the Missouri Department of Transportation. That's because traffic signals on state highways that go through town are maintained by MoDOT. The lights on city streets are the responsibility of city workers...
The amazing story of Paul Potts (11/23/07)
Bill Needham stopped by one day this week. Bill and I don't know each other very well, but we share one thing -- that I know of -- other than the color of our hair: We both love the opera. The opera. Sounds pretentious, doesn't it? I suppose that's because there are some folks who try to make more out of opera than it really is. ...
Doing God's work (11/16/07)
There's not much going on in our nation's capital these days. I can tell, because a prominent United States senator is getting a lot of media attention for targeting rich televangelists who drive expensive cars and live in ritzy houses. Surely I'm not the only living American who wonders what United States senators are putting in their coffee...
The cat gauge (11/09/07)
We replaced the heating and cooling gizmos in our house a few years ago, and in the process we got a fancy thermostat that tells us the temperature inside the house and outside the house as well. I like the new furnace and air conditioner. They keep our house warm when it's cold outside and cool when it's hot outside. But what I like the most is that inside-outside thermometer. With the push of a button I can tell if I need a short-sleeve shirt, a light jacket or a parka when I go out...
Monument ... to folly? (11/02/07)
If you wonder why we have a $62 million federal courthouse standing empty in Cape Girardeau while bureaucrats find new ways to manufacture red tape, you are eligible to be a charter member of my new club called TIRED, or ThisIsReallyEconomicallyDumb.gov.us...
Lots of Lincoln (10/26/07)
Springfield -- the one in Illinois -- has long been on our list of places to visit, but my wife and I always found excuses to go other places. Until last weekend, that is. It has been our custom for several years to plan a long weekend away from home when the cool weather of autumn arrives. ...
Mrs. FDR spoke. What did she say? (10/19/07)
Fifty years ago this week, Eleanor Roosevelt, widow of President Franklin D. Roosevelt and a noted humanitarian in her own right, spoke in Cape Girardeau. I was there. That night is among the top 10 events of my youth, along with getting my driver's license on my 16th birthday without ever having driven a car...
Miss Kitty lands in a pool of butter (10/12/07)
Several of you have asked about Miss Kitty. Let me assure you that she is fine. If anything, Miss Kitty is better than fine. A friend of ours had a particularly good way of describing the good fortune of rescued pets. She owned a dog that was spoiled beyond belief. (Aren't most pets?) Our friend, who had the most beautiful Virginia drawl, once said of her dog: She fell on her you-know-what and landed in a pool of butter...
Riding on two wheels (10/05/07)
My first bicycle was a balloon-tire one-speed Western Flyer that was well-suited for the dusty gravel roads of Killough Valley in the Ozark hills over yonder. My Western Flyer was capable of as many speeds as my legs could endure. Mostly, I rode my one-speed bike slowly. Crashing on gravel quickly teaches bike-riding prudence...
Paying at the pump (09/28/07)
Happiness, as you well know, comes in all shapes and sizes. My triumph of the week came at one of our local convenience stores where you can pay at the pump to fill up your car. Even though I consider myself to be credit-card literate, I have never mastered the do-it-yourself checkouts of the world. Not at convenience stores. Not at supermarkets. Not at major retailers...
Memory is overrated anyway (09/21/07)
It is painful to realize that you've remembered something important, and what you've remembered is that you have forgotten something important. Go ahead. Munch on your Wheat Chex for a minute while that sinks in. It's one of those classic good news-bad news situations. As I grow more age-advantaged, I am having more and more encounters with memory lapses...
The Grubs (09/14/07)
In 1978, when we moved to Maryville, Mo., our older son was in the third grade. At Eugene Field Elementary School in his new hometown, our son quickly made friends with Chris, Curt and Dustin. The four boys became fast friends, a bond that has endured almost 30 years. A couple of weeks ago, all four were together for the first time since 1990...
Music and terror (09/07/07)
It's a bit strange that I would be thinking of music and terrorism at the same time. That's what happens when a music festival opens near the anniversary of the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks. Not that there's any connection between our music festival and terrorists. None whatsoever...
Grand music (08/31/07)
This is the last day of August, and I'd like to say good riddance to such a mean, sweltering month. But I can't. Something extraordinarily good happened this month. And I will always remember this particular August as a good month no matter what. To tell this story, I need you to go back nearly 55 years. ...
Thanks for tomatoes (08/24/07)
It's too early for Thanksgiving, but there's no time like the present for giving thanks, especially to all those generous gardeners who have shared the bounty of this year's tomato crop. In spite of the recent heat wave, the tomatoes keep arriving. ...
Drinking is good for you - coffee, that is (08/17/07)
Anyone who drinks coffee at any of the many fine gathering places around here knows that's where all the best thinking occurs. If you don't believe it, just ask any of the coffee drinkers. I was at my usual coffee-drinking spot one morning this week with the usual coffee drinkers, and we were talking about the usual coffee-drinking topics...
Joe Sullivan
River City Journal