Remember the cheesy old costumes we used to wear?

Yep, it's October. And yep, I'm one of those freaks who enjoys the spirit of Halloween. I love the bad Sci-Fi channel movies, seeing yard decorations go up as the leaves come down, checking out the year's popular costumes for kids and adults, the horror-movie marathons and the area's special events, be it haunted houses, parties, ghost hunts or the telling of ghost stories.

I'd love to visit the Lemp mansion in St. Louis, or check out Alton, Illinois' haunts. There are plenty of sites reputed to be haunted in Cape Girardeau and the area, but that's a topic for a later blog.

Right now, I'm here to help out those of you grown-ups who might be considering going to a party or event where a costume is required (or desired).

This year there's going to be a lot of Jokers, Batmen, Caribbean pirates and Indiana Joneses. (Doesn't seem to offer much for the girls, here...)

Most folks will buy these online or at area costume shops, or throw together their own versions. There's help online if you need inspiration.

Chiff.com has links to make your own Joker or Iron Man costumes, and some tips for last-minute costume ideas.

WikiHow can help with Batman

And eHow has info on transforming yourself into Capt. Jack Sparrow

Prefer Indy's brand of swashbuckling to Jack's? Here's how to look like Indiana Jones

Here you go, ladies — you too can be cutting-edge this Halloween. Dress as Republican vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin!

Do it yourself, or if you just want to buy the Palin mask, search the web or try here.

Take a look at the ideas listed here:

http://www.getincostume.com/costumes/costume-ideas/adult-halloween-costumes-why-should-kids-have-all-the-fun/

Some easy ideas

Why so literal? Kelly O'Neil describes some Halloween costumes to illustrate idioms such as "Dead ringer", "chip on his shoulder," "flea market" and more:

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/357543/idiomatic_halloween_costumes.html?cat=74

Other relatively easy costume ideas for singles or couples include:

Tourists: Start with a loud Hawaiian shirt or bowling shirt, add cameras around the neck, sunscreen on your nose, khaki shorts, sandals with socks, fanny pack, an ugly straw hat and some souvenirs — leis are good). This site will show you some good examples.

White trash: Men — "wife beater" shirt and/or anything with a beer logo, camouflage or a Confederate flag, bad teeth (eat some Oreo cookies and don't brush your teeth), a baseball cap (ideally over over a mullet) and dirty fingernails. Women: Anything tight, revealing, and in an animal print, with garish heels. A lot of makeup. Curlers in your hair optional. Bonus points for bringing along a dirty baby (doll) in a saggy diaper.

VERY EASY ALTERNATIVE: Cut holes in a white trash bag for your arms and head. Wear a white long-sleeved shirt and white pants under the trash bag. Glue on bits of paper, napkins, toilet tissue, popcorn ... anything white.

EVEN EASIER: Rather fork over some money for a ready-made costume? (Beware, some are a bit rude)

http://www.brandsonsale.com/adult-funny-redneck-costumes.html

http://www.zoogstercostumes.com/landing/whitetrash.php

Just-rolled-out-of-bed look: Wear slippers, jammies, a robe, curlers or bed-hair. Coffee mug and doughnut or bagel optional. For extra effect, add a little red makeup around your eyes.

Nerds: Okay, this one isn't hard, especially if you have — or can get — a pair of horn-rim glasses. If you need more to go on, check here.

Zombies: First, decide who you were before you became a zombie. A harried businessman? College student? Presidential candidate? Figure out your identity, then grab some old, approproiate clothes out of the back of your closet or visit your favorite second-hand store. Pick up a lot of fake blood, plus some green and/or gray makeup. Get a kit for fake wounds, if you want to go that far. Once you're home, lay out the clothes your zombie will wear in the driveway and run over them a few times with your car to get that "stumbled into traffic" look. Then artfully rip, stain and dirty up your costume. Don't forget the fake blood for clothing stains! Use the makeup to give all your exposed skin an unhealthy greenish gray hue, and be creative with the fake blood, especially on your face and around your mouth and hands. Grunge up your hair. Make use of broken items around the house that you haven't thrown away yet ... twisted eyeglasses barely hanging off of one ear are effective. So is a shattered iPod or Walkman or bashed-in cell phone, or a battered briefcase hanging open. Now you're ready to shuffle and moan your way to the party! One thousand bonus points if you bring along a turkey leg to chew on.

This gentleman shows you how he whipped up a pretty decent zombie costume in 90 minutes. (Under the headline "Zombie Costume in 90 Minutes" are links to steps 1 through 5.) Clicky here.

Off the rack couture

Yeah, I know it's dumb. But it's funny.

ABOVE: Although I've been talking about do-it-yourself outfits here, there are tons of great ready-made costumes. This one? Hilarious.

The ghostly gal costume.

And these are classy and eerie:

Ghostly Gal

Ghostly Gent

Ghostly Lady

Lady Nightshade

Ghostly Groom

"Where there is no imagination there is no horror."

— Arthur Conan Doyle, Sr.

"Clothes make a statement. Costumes tell a story."

— Mason Cooley

"There is nothing that gives more assurance than a mask."

— Colette