Seriously--Donald or Hillary--Who Would Get Your Vote?

Personally, I'm really stumped. Both candidates are highly qualified.

The GOP candidate, Donald Trump, is a billionaire real estate developer and former television celebrity. Much like the average American, he was born into wealth and was married three times-- first to a fashion model, next to an aspiring actress, and finally, to another beautiful model, Melania.

The all-American couple lives in a modest penthouse located at the Trump Tower in Manhattan. Their living space takes up the top three floors, and is decorated in 24K gold and marble--designed by Angelo Donghia in Louie XIV style. Sounds like my first apartment.

Then we have the Democratic candidate, Hillary Clinton. She wants to be the "champion for everyday people." Her husband, not unlike most of your neighbors, was a former president of the United States, but sadly, Bill and Hillary are currently unemployed. Sound familiar?

Fortunately, they've been able to scrape by on the $25 million they've earned since 2014, by giving 104 speeches. That's an average of $240,000 per speech. Beats the hell out of the $15.00 minimum wage Hillary wants for everyone else. (I apologize. I shouldn't be judgmental.)

I actually feel sorry for both of the candidates, and that's why I'm so unsure who should get my vote.

On one hand, my heart goes out to Hillary. She hasn't driven a car since 1996. Poor thing--she's been chauffeured around by Secret Service agents for the past nineteen years. She'll never know what it's like to "see the USA in a Chevrolet."

Then, we have Donald. He travels around in his personal Boeing 757, with seating for 43 passengers, complete with 24 carat gold plated seat belts.(That's true) His plane features a dining room, big screen TVs, and a master bedroom. Once again, not to be judgmental, Trump is like most other Americans---his plane is not new--it's a used 1991 model. How much more conservative can you get? I like a guy who budgets his money. Even his two helicopters are used--one is a 1989, and the other, a 1992 model.

So, there's my predicament. They both have compelling stories, but I guess I'll wait and see what the other twenty candidates have to offer. If, for some reason, the 2016 election doesn't go my way, I already have a presidential candidate in mind for 2020.

Unexpectedly, at the MTV Video Music Awards, one person shocked the nation by announcing he's running for president in 2020--music producer and Grammy-award-winning rapper--Kanye West. The new First Lady would be reality TV star, Kim Kardashian, and the West Wing will finally be occupied by a family with the last name West.

Isn't America great! No, not quite yet. Trump must win in 2016 before we can officially "make America great again."