- A Four-Year-Old Boy Validates my Trump Vote (6/28/16)
- Out of the Ashes... Arises “Trump the Terminator” (2/27/16)2
- The Anti-Government Tidal Wave of 2016 (2/5/16)
- The Evolving Drama of Trump, Carson and Clinton (11/9/15)
- 9/11--A History Lesson for all Americans (9/10/15)
- Seriously--Donald or Hillary--Who Would Get Your Vote? (8/31/15)
- Is "Trump the Braveheart" Igniting a Political Revolution? (8/22/15)1
"Big Bird" Excoriates Obama Administration at Secret Meeting!
Big Bird, a lifelong closet conservative, recently decided to go public, even at the risk of damaging his Sesame Street career. He called for a secret political meeting, and as your 1st Amendment Watchdog, I was invited to be the only adult in attendance. No video was permitted (to protect the identities of the minors), but I was allowed audio equipment and the following is a transcript of that historic meeting:
Big Bird begins. "First of all, welcome to my secret clubhouse. You kids have been invited to this expose' today based on your conservative intellectual superiority as members of the Mensa Society. You kids will learn the real truth about the dangers of President Obama's current liberal agenda--a dark side of politics your parents have been hiding from you. Your safety is of the utmost importance, so Oscar the Grouch and a special group of his elite friends are strategically placed throughout my yard, and will sound the alarm if any liberal parent should approach.
Before I begin today's lecture, I must sadly report my good friend, Cookie Monster, will not be in attendance today. He was arrested two days ago by Michele Obama's food police after being caught eating deep-fried Hostess Twinkies at our annual Sesame Street Oktoberfest. Our attorneys are currently working on getting him released.
So everyone, if there are no objections, today's meeting will begin.
Suddenly, from the back of the room, Bert yells, "My daddy is a Democrat! Yes, I do mind!"
Peace was quickly restored after Ernie and his Sesame Street Security Force escorted Bert from the clubhouse, and temporarily duct-taped him to the side of a giant oak tree.
Big Bird continues. " If you will all focus on the big projector screen, which I borrowed from my Grandpa's house--he's in the hospital getting a hip replacement--you will see some numbers I've pulled from the latest polls.
Gallup is now showing President Obama's disapproval rating at 53%. Rasmussen Polls show that 63% of voters think America is headed down the wrong track. The Investor's Business Daily poll says 53% of adults characterize Obama's presidency as a failure. And kids, a Wall Street Journal/NBC Poll says 76% of adults believe their children's generation will NOT be better off than they are. Hey boys and girls, that's YOU! THAT'S ME! WE are the future of America! (The room erupts in loud applause and a standing ovation. One kid was so overly excited; he wet his pants, and was allowed to leave for fear of a rash and parental punishment.)
I'm telling you, my friends, there are NO adults running Washington D.C. right now. And I mean that literally! All the politicians are on a six week vacation until after the mid-term elections. That's just not fair. As kids, we're lucky to get one occasional snow day off from school! It's ridiculous. These privileged politicians ALL make over $170,000 a year! How many video games and Happy Meals could you buy with that kind of allowance money? (Another standing ovation)
Even when they're in Washington, they get nothing done. The Democrats and President Obama have turned our democracy into a ONE-PARTY authoritarian kingdom! They spread their propaganda of a "Do-Nothing Republican House", yet with millions of Americans looking for full-time work; Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid is sitting on over 25 jobs bills already passed by the House, but refuses to bring them up for a vote! If I were his Dad, he would be grounded for a month! (More cheers and applause)
As we have discussed in past meetings, President Obama continues to bypass Congress by taking unilateral executive action on critical issues such as immigration and war. He has threatened he will do more in his final two years on amnesty and climate change. Hail King Obama! He has a pen and a phone! Well-- whoopee-do! I have a box of crayons and a cell phone too! (The packed clubhouse erupts in laughter!)
Seriously, my fellow conservative children; we live in a very, very dangerous time. And I'm afraid our adult leaders have neither the will nor the ability to make the tough decisions.
Our parents tell us to learn from our mistakes, yet President Obama refuses to learn from his own. He didn't take the advice of his military experts and Cabinet members on Iraq and Syria, and today Islamic radicals have become a threatening power in the Middle East, not seen since 9/11. It's evident the adults in Washington did not learn the lesson from the Boston Marathon bombings last year.
Now, today, our national security is even threatened by the Ebola virus. Until President Obama finds the political courage to ban incoming foreigners with visas from affected countries in West Africa, we will continue to see Americans contract Ebola.
Our president is totally disengaged. He's found the time to attend dozens of lavish Democratic fundraisers and recently played his 200th round of golf! (At this point a picture of Obama smiling in his golf cart appears on the screen) And that my fellow conservatives, is what I call real adult leadership! (A chorus of boos fills the clubhouse)
Let us not forget....WE are the next generation! Today's adults have lost their way, so it's up to every one of us in this room to make a difference for America. Hop on your bikes and skateboards and leave here today with a renewed hope for your country.
When you get to your homes, tell your moms and dads to sit down. Make sure they turn off their phones. No Face Book, No ESPN app, and no Pinterest! Tell them you need their undivided attention. Then share with your parents the conservative story and how it will make their lives better. Explain how their next votes will decide their children's futures!
Suddenly the door bursts open and in comes Ernie, winded and panicked! "Big Bird, your mom just pulled up in the driveway! She's home early!"
Big Bird raises his arms and calmly tells his friends "Go forth my fellow patriots and let's do what the adults have been unable to do. Let's be the generation that saved this great Republic! God Bless America!
P.S. The kids were so excited to get to their homes; they forgot Bert was duct-taped to the tree, and there he would remain. The moral of this story: Democrats need to see the light and convert to the Republican Party. Otherwise, they too, will be left behind, as America seeks a new path forward.
Respond to this blog
Posting a comment requires a subscription.