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For Parents of College Freshmen
Our culture recognizes the back to school blues for parents of Kindergartners, and even for that matter for parents of high school seniors, but we rarely take the time to speak to parents about the challenges they face when their children begin college. For these parents, dropping their child off at a college dorm is just as difficult as sending them on the bus on the first day of Kindergarten. Parents of college freshman need to know that ready or not, their parenting role is changing. To make this transition as easy as possible, parents should have several conversations with their children before the first day of college.
1. Discuss finances. Be very clear with your college freshman what you are willing to pay for. College is very expensive and your child needs to be fully aware of these expenses. Who is going to pay for tuition, room and board, books and supplies, even pizza and new clothes? If your child has earned a scholarship, how much does he or she staying in college depend on that scholarship? If your child needs to work, what are your expectations regarding maintain grades? Be honest with your child and follow through with your commitments.
2. Discuss levels of contact. How often does your child want you to call? For some college freshman, daily calls from home, at least initially, are comforting. For others, one call a week is more than enough. Don't forget to lay the ground rules for Facebook. Is your child okay with you posting to their wall? Is it okay to tag them in family photos. Being respectful of your child's wishes will improve your overall parent-child relationship as it begins to change.
It's important for parents of college freshmen to realize that their relationship with their child is going to be changing very quickly over the next several years. Your child is leaving childhood and becoming an independent adult. Your child still needs you, but the rules are different now. You've been preparing your child to grow into a responsible adult. Now is the time to let them go and reap the benefits of your last 18 years of hard work!
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