Little Kids, Big Fears Part II

So it's been a while since I posted the first part of this thread. Here's the rest of this series.

Now that we've discussed many of the sources of toddler fears, how can parents effectively deal with these fears? The first thing parents should do is acknowledge the fear. Fears are real to toddlers, no matter how irrational they may be. Ignoring or dismissing the fear will not help your toddler overcome the fear.

Letting your toddler know that fears are normal and that everyone has fears will help your child know that she is not alone. Try telling your toddler a story of a fear you had that you overcame. Just be careful to keep it in simple terms and not introduce a new fear. If your child has never been afraid of water, don't introduce it as something to be afraid of. On the other hand, forcing your toddler to confront her fear head-on is rarely effective and may make the fear turn into a phobia. Simply telling your toddler to "be brave" or "be a big girl" or teasing your toddler about the fear also isn't likely to work.

One thing to remember is that toddlers aren't in control of much of their environment, so it's important for parents to be encouraging and supportive in situations when the toddler is afraid. Boost your toddler's selfconfidence when she makes even the smallest steps towards facing her fears. Be calm and confident when facing a situation where your toddler might be afraid and she is likely to feel supported and secure in these scary situations. However, don't be overly protective. Coddling a toddler will only reinforce the fear because it tells the child that there really is something to be afraid of.

Parents should also be on the watch for potentially scary situations. Monitor your child's exposure to scary books, television, movies, even conversations. While your toddler might not look like she's paying attention,even the slightest glimpse of a scary image on a television screen might cause a fear.

Finally, parents should watch their own actions when dealing with toddler fears. If mom jumps every time she sees a spider, the toddler might develop a fear of spiders. If a toddler sees a cat for the first time and mom says, "Don't be afraid" the toddler may think there is something to be afraid of. However, if mom says, "See the pretty kitty. It wants to say hello to you" then the child is more likely to not feel afraid.