- Cape Rolling Out Bloomfield Road Art Trail (8/21/19)1
- Donors Pledge Almost Two Grand To Replace SEMO's Possibly Sentient ‘Gum Tree' (8/16/18)
- SEMO and The Will To (Become A Consultant) – Part 2 (6/14/18)
- SEMO and The Will To Do (You Really Want To See That Legal Notice?) – Part 1 (6/4/18)
- Judge, Jury... Trashman (6/1/18)
- Diary of Cape Girardeau Road Deconstruction (5/11/18)
- Trying To Save A Tree From City “Improvements” (4/30/18)2
A Brief Interview With The William Street Traffic Analyst
The City of Cape Girardeau is proposing dramatic changes to William Street including reducing much of the 4-lane thoroughfare down to just two plus a center turn lane.
This reduction is being justified by a traffic analysis that was reportedly done by the consultant for the project.
While the consultant was unavailable for the comment, the person hired to do the traffic research -- Boone Doggle -- did agree to an interview with this blog.
Irony Of It All: Thank you for talking with us, Mr. Doggle. Portions of this proposed project seems to hinge on your William Street traffic counts. Based on your findings, the city engineer said "most of the day it's pretty empty along William Street," but a lot of people who actually use the street between Kingshighway and downtown feel otherwise. What is your response to these people?
Boone Doggle: Well, they weren't out there counting cars, like I was. Trust me, you could have shot a cannon down William and not have hit a darn thing.
IOIA: A cannon? Really? When exactly did you do this study, midnight?
BD: Oh no. Two a.m. to six a.m. for a week. That street was d -- e -- a -- d, dead.
IOIA: Soooo, you weren't there during the morning when people were headed to the University or downtown to work? Or in the evening when they are all going home?
BD: Nope.
IOIA: What about before or after an event at the Show Me Center or the River Campus?
BD: No, sir.
IOIA: Not even at lunch time?
BD: Not a chance.
IOIA: Can I ask, why not? Why did you do a traffic study at a time when there is almost no traffic on any street, anywhere within the city of Cape Girardeau?
BD: (clearing his throat) I have issues.
IOIA: Issues?
BD: Yes, issues. But I have a doctor's excuse and I'd like to add that as a member of several protected classes, I may not be discriminated against. I have the right to do this job as anyone.
IOIA: Ohhhh-kayyyy. If you don't mind me asking what are you talking about?
BD: Well I've been diagnosed with ADHD, dyslexia, dyscalculia and dysgraphia. I also suffer from enochlophobia, and I have a pretty acute case of ochophobia.
IOIA: Ochophobia? That explains a lot.
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