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- SEMO and The Will To (Become A Consultant) – Part 2 (6/14/18)
- SEMO and The Will To Do (You Really Want To See That Legal Notice?) – Part 1 (6/4/18)
- Judge, Jury... Trashman (6/1/18)
- Diary of Cape Girardeau Road Deconstruction (5/11/18)
- Trying To Save A Tree From City “Improvements” (4/30/18)2
Cape School District May Issue
Athletic Supporters To K Thru 12
While a program to provide laptop or netbook computers to all students at Cape Girardeau Central High School has been approved but not yet implemented, the district is wasting no time pursuing concepts designed to foster other latent abilities within its charges.
"The theory is quite simple," said Jack S. Trappe, the District Coordinator for Trendy Initiatives, "Since smarts can be cultivated by just having a computer, we're convinced that something similar can be done to inspire additional talents within our students."
The district formed a committee last spring to explore the feasibility of forming a committee to investigate other similar initiatives for the district. That committee found that forming a committee to study the feasibility of more initiatives was feasible and the recommended committee was formed early in the summer. That committee already has several recommendations to take before the school board which they feel are feasible.
Trappe is particularly enthused about the committee's plan to issue athletic supporters to all students starting in kindergarten as a part of a required dress code.
"If you have all students wear a cup from an early age, it will make them believe they are athletes, and if they believe it, they can do it, " said Trappe. "We feel this strategy will create classrooms full of potential Olympians in a few short years."
Trappe acknowledged the district might have some challenges implementing the athletic supporter program for all students.
"It's not really something girls normally wear, even naturally athletic girls," said Trappe. "And during testing we've had some challenges with kindergarteners wearing them as party hats or pretending to be fighter pilots or in the case of one kid, using his as an ice-cream dish, but we're optimistic these challenges can be overcome."
The committee is also recommending the district invest in the students innate ability to be NASCAR mechanics and Le Cordon Bleu quality chefs by outfitting each of them with a set of Craftsman Sockets and a Ginsu knife collection.
Writer's Note: This story is not true. It's almost all fabrication. The only factual thing is that students at CGHS will be issued some kind of a computing device this coming January. That's it. I assure you that no testing of kindergarteners actually occurred.
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