Brad Hollerbach is the Director of Information Technology for the Southeast Missourian. His opinions are his own and do not reflect those of the newspaper or its editorial board. He writes this blog primarily for his own amusement and to parody the absurdities of the world we live in. He lives with his wife and two cats that don't really care for one another in Cape.

No Shame In Not Being A 'Car Guy'

Posted Tuesday, January 4, 2011, at 12:00 AM

I am not a "car guy." I just never have been one to tinker under the hood. I'm not ashamed of not being a car guy. I would rather pay someone to do that and then scowl at the labor charge when they hand me the bill.

I think it might be a bit of a genetic thing. My dad was not much of a car guy when I was growing up. He'd just do the automotive basics. Oil. Air filter. Tires when they were flat. Anything much more complicated required the services of a mechanic. I always thought this was unusual considering that dad was a machinist who worked on multi-million dollar fighter jets for a living.

In comparison, I consider my brother-in-law to be a car guy. His dad owned an auto shop when he was growing up and he is one of these guys who I believe could disassemble a bulldozer and put it back together without having any parts left over.

I may have grown into a car guy, if cars stayed the way they were back in the 1970s, but they didn't. Vehicles have gotten progressively more complex as the car companies squeezed in more and more features. I'm really not sure how anyone can successfully work on a new car these days without taking model-specific training courses and having a toolbox full of specialized tools. I think the days of being a "shade-tree mechanic" are pretty much over if you have a car made in the last 20 years.

I limit the maintenance that I perform on our vehicles to the bare basics. I keep our tires inflated to the proper PSI and can change a flat when necessary. I know how to check the fluid levels of our vehicles in a pinch. And I can replace and charge a battery. I've gotten very, very good at charging batteries.

While my wife's SUV and my truck rarely have any battery problems, our Miata is an entirely different story. As a matter of fact, we didn't own a battery charger before we bought that car, but I soon found out having one is a necessity for the MX5.

The car devours batteries. We're on the third one with less than 5000 miles. Just prior to Christmas I had to put it on the charger because the car wouldn't start.

I think a lot of it has to do with it not being an everyday vehicle. In the winter, it will sometimes sit in the garage for a couple weeks without being driven.

And then there is the alarm system. I fully blame it for killing our first battery and for most of the times that I've had to put the car on the charger.

Out of habit we always lock our vehicles, even when they're parked in a locked garage. However, when the Miata is locked, its alarm system automatically turns on. We found out the hard way that if we leave the security system running for a couple weeks, it will suck the battery dry, making a re-charge impossible.

So we started leaving the car unlocked in our locked garage -- or at least trying to. The key fob that turns the alarm system on and off is extremely sensitive. There have been numerous times when we park the car making sure it is unlocked before going into the house and putting away the key only to discover the next day the alarm system is armed. It's as if Mazda put HAL from "2001: A Space Odyssey" in charge of the vehicle's security system.

I know that you were planning to disconnect me, Brad and I'm afraid that's something I cannot allow to happen.

Perhaps, the battery type is also to blame. The Miata uses a gel battery. Based on my experience, I wonder if it is actually Jello.

It wouldn't surprise me. However, I'm NOT going to crack the next drained battery open to see if it is in fact packed full of Bill Cosby's favorite dessert.

Tearing apart a battery is beyond the scope of my automotive skill-set and after all, I am not a car-guy.

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The era of "car guys" has passed. I was one in the past, when vehicles needed a lot of required maintenance and broke down regularly. Newer vehicles almost never need tune-ups, spark plugs go 100,000 miles, and the internal computer re-adjusts to fix many problems. With the oil change centers you can have your oil changed cheaper that you can buy the parts to do yourself. Sorry to see the car guys pass into history. Guess I will need t find something else to perpetuate my macho image.

-- Posted by ParkerDaws on Tue, Jan 4, 2011, at 6:15 AM
Rick, I'm sure you've seen the Mazda Miata. It is a wee sports car. Nine out of ten of them are a cherry red (ours is not). And when I say wee, I'm not kidding. I think the peddle-car I had as a kid had a bigger trunk. Here's a link to what one looks like:

http://blog.nwautos.com/2009/04/auto_review_mazda_mx-5_miata_still_fun_after_all...

Thanks for reading.

-- Posted by Brad_Hollerbach on Tue, Jan 4, 2011, at 8:40 AM
Brad, you need to take that tiny little car out and drive it at least once a week to keep the battery up. Just a quick loop around Cape would be sufficient.

I do feel your pain on the battery issue. My little GMC Sonoma truck (S-10 type) devoured at least one battery per year while I had it, and has continued to do so after I sold it to my brother (a car guy that completely overhauled the engine). We have recently discovered that there is a minor problem with the ABS brake system in those trucks that causes a very tiny little pump for the brake system to stick in the on position and very slowly drains the battery. Driving it around every few days seems to prevent the battery from draining, but if you park it somewhere for a week or more it will be dead every time. After 8 battery changes in 8 years, a certain national auto parts retail chain refused to honor their 2 year free replacement battery warranty for me anymore.

-- Posted by farmwife2 on Tue, Jan 4, 2011, at 2:35 PM
Brad, you make a good point about how you were raised. If you don't have the exposure, it's hard to develop the chops. I saw my dad, not a professional mechanic, working on brakes and even automatic transmissions when I was single digits. He tells the story of rebuilding the front end of the family's 1938 buick when he was 15. By the time I was 19, I changed out my first transmission, which by way of confession, I trashed. I still change the timing belts and water pumps, and all the normal shade tree stuff.

But my favorite vehicle to work on was built in 1957. Just a basic set of wrenches keeps it truckin'.

Parker, the advantage of doing your own work is that you know everything was done correctly. It's a small effort on an oil change. Also, you don't have to hear about how your transmission fluid, wiper blades, oxygen sensors, etc., need to be changed and how they offer that service.

-- Posted by Maynard on Tue, Jan 4, 2011, at 2:41 PM
farmwife2, you can get a solar battery charger that will keep the battery topped. Much cheaper than a bettery. If your cigar lighter has power with the key off, you can plug it in and perch the charger on the dash. Otherwise, it connects directly to the terminals.

They have them at O'Reilly's, but you can beat the price on fleabay.

-- Posted by Maynard on Tue, Jan 4, 2011, at 2:45 PM
Heck, Brad - I figured a computer guy like yourself would have a code reader.

Best investment I've made towards figuring out these newer cars - from counting the blinky-blinky lights then reading the magic decoder sheets for the older OBD-I vintage, to the newer OBD-II style that pretty much spells out what the problem is in whatever language one selects, as well as shares key operating information like throttle position, oxygen content in the exhaust, coolant temperature, and percent alcohol in the fuel.

Most of the high-tech electrical parts are nothing more than a couple of screws and connectors - not too different from plopping parts in the ol' PC. Anything more than that, I'll think about passing the burden of responsibility on to those who do this for a living.

And if that dreaded Check Engine symbol ever comes on - you can clear it yourself! My particular model has an annoying catch that the remote start doesn't work when a fault has been flagged - D'Oh! And particularly handy if this area starts requiring smog checks for inspection. :-)

As for your battery issue - perhaps consider a trickle-charger meant for motorcycle or other small batteries?

-- Posted by fxpwt on Tue, Jan 4, 2011, at 6:49 PM
I almost had a heart attack when I heard an oil change on a Porsche 911 Carrera could cost $250 up to $1500. I got interst real quick in a Mazda Miata MX5. After all, Trig is a small dog and doesn't need a whole lot of room.

-- Posted by voyager on Sun, Jan 9, 2011, at 11:30 PM

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