Brad Hollerbach is the Director of Information Technology for the Southeast Missourian. His opinions are his own and do not reflect those of the newspaper or its editorial board. He writes this blog primarily for his own amusement and to parody the absurdities of the world we live in. He lives with his wife and two cats that don't really care for one another in Cape.

Vandal Gives Advice With Stop Sign Message

Posted Thursday, December 23, 2010, at 12:00 AM

A stop sign in front of Sam's Club at the intersection of Shirley and Lambert Drives in Cape Girardeau advises passer-bys to "STOP CONSUMING."

STOP is the regular size that you would expect on a sign at an intersection, but CONSUMING is much smaller. It's below STOP and appears to have been applied to the sign by someone using white vinyl self-adhesive letters about 2-inches tall.

The vandalized sign has obviously been this way for years. However, it is just a voice in the retailer wilderness that surrounds Siemers Drive and has apparently made no impact. The stores are as busy as always and even more so on the weekends just prior to Christmas.

A reader pointed this sign out to me and I attempted to get a photo of it this past Saturday.

Yes, I said Saturday. I don't know what I was thinking. Apparently I wasn't.

On the last weekend before Christmas, every parking lot was jammed with vehicles, and the roads on the west side of town weren't any better. Had I even attempted to get out of my truck to try to take a photo of the sign, I know I would have been a goner, surely flattened by some mother from Miner flying in her minivan from Wal-Mart to Target in an effort to buy a must-have-toy that she couldn't find in Sikeston.

I decided that I would have a better chance of surviving if I leaped on a live grenade so I turned my truck back to Siemers and planned to get the photo another time, when parking was not quite at capacity. Consider it a strategic retreat.

I do find the vandalism of this sign quite funny. First of all, it is highly atypical for a vandal. Most vandals like to work with cans of spray paint and mark an out of the way wall with their airbrushed-like art. However, this vandal chose to use manufactured adhesive block letters and apply them to a very visible sign located in a high traffic area. That took some guts and a little bit of time.

The letters are straight and the kerning -- that is the space between the letters -- is very consistent. The only flaw is that it is not quite centered beneath STOP. Basically, if I had to give the vandal who created this graffiti a grade, it would be an A minus.

I also find it ironic that the vandal likely purchased these letters. They consumed so they could get the message out to everyone driving by to stop consuming.

I really don't think they gave this message a lot of thought. It was probably a knee-jerk reaction to some Big Liberal Media news report. Did they even consider if their statement actually worked? What if everyone who drove by this sign did stop consuming, cold turkey? Hopefully they would have enough gas in their vehicle to make it home. When you fill up your tank you are consuming.

And hopefully those people who decided to stop consuming would have plenty of canned beans and ready to eat food already in their pantry. They couldn't cook it inside, because their oven or stove or microwave, all consume power, but they might be able to collect enough branches and twigs to start a fire so they could warm up those beans outside. That's also consuming, but you're consuming Mother Nature's bounty without any middlemen being involved so that would probably be OK.

I'm sure the vandal who posted this addition to the stop sign, didn't consider the potential ramifications of his or hers message. The person was probably thinking that people passing by after likely visiting the Wal-Mart next to Sam's Club should STOP EXCESSIVE CONSUMING. They missed a word in their haste to post their message.

Of course, then we could get into a debate over what is or isn't excessive consuming.

Is a 20-pack of Mach-3 Razors from Sam's Club excessive? Not to me, but to others who use a different brand, probably.

Is the 1080p 65-inch LCD TV you're buying to replace the 720p 54-inch LCD model hanging in your family room excessive? Not to you, I'm sure.

Is a Giant Value Pak of 2-inch adhesive letters that includes 10 sets of the entire alphabet plus extra vowels plus numbers and punctuation symbols excessive?

Perhaps, it would be to most people, but maybe not to a vandal.

Thanks to Budman for alerting me to this sign.

Comments

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obvious no one reads the sign because no one ever stops over there anyway...so ha ha to the vandal...out of my way i needs me a 5 lb. can of tuna and a gallon tub of margarine.

-- Posted by TommyStix on Thu, Dec 23, 2010, at 9:19 AM
I don't know what kind of sandwich you're making, Tommy, but I don't think my digestive system would want to have any part of it!

Actually, where the sign is located people will have already left Wal-Mart. Budman said he noticed this sign after leaving Wal-Mart and heading to Lowes.

So perhaps it should be, out of my way i needs me a 5 lb. box of 2-inch deck screws and a dozen tubes of caulk.

Thanks for reading.

-- Posted by Brad_Hollerbach on Thu, Dec 23, 2010, at 9:34 AM
At least you have to give credit for creativity. I've seen a few stop signs where they have 'Go' spray-painted on them. If those vandals were ever caught, I would almost hope they would get extra time for such a lack of imagination. If you're going to break the law, at least do it in style.

-- Posted by almighty on Thu, Dec 23, 2010, at 10:43 AM
I agree, almighty. While I didn't divulge what goes into my grading scale, this particular vandal got an A in creativity. It was just the minor infraction in execution that lowered his or hers grade.

It's much better than the vandals you mentioned who spray paint "go" on stop signs (such imagination!) or apply their personal "tag" where ever they can kind an empty wall.

TFR

-- Posted by Brad_Hollerbach on Thu, Dec 23, 2010, at 11:16 AM
Consumption in and of itself is not bad. Now excessive and wasteful comsumption can be. But without consumer purchasing our economy will suffer. Just look at the slow recovery of the reccession. People and Businesses have learned to do the same with less. The slow puchasing recovery is what is hurting the recovery. Until people buy more, businessed and industry has not reason to increase production and start hiring more people. So unfortunatley one hand feeds the other.

-- Posted by johnboy25 on Thu, Dec 23, 2010, at 12:28 PM
Unfortunately the US was once full of companies producing quality products that lasted years. The term durable really meant something. The average life time of a CRT television was about 7 years. Some lasted longer, others died young. Today we have gotten accustomed to corporations pushing cheaper, crapper items that are appealing to consumer's pockets but often fail quickly (ironically usually within a month of a warranty expiring).

I personally do not like shopping at Walmart, and only do it when I need to. The last time I went there I stupidly bought some small wheeled castors for a project at home. They looked okay in the box but after using them for a week they were already failing. You have to wonder about buying things like child car seats or other items that could save lives when a company is SO fixed about bringing you the cheapet deal.

We could consume less if things were made BETTER, not cheaper.

-- Posted by Tech_Dude on Fri, Dec 24, 2010, at 10:34 AM

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