- Cape Rolling Out Bloomfield Road Art Trail (8/21/19)1
- Donors Pledge Almost Two Grand To Replace SEMO's Possibly Sentient ‘Gum Tree' (8/16/18)
- SEMO and The Will To (Become A Consultant) – Part 2 (6/14/18)
- SEMO and The Will To Do (You Really Want To See That Legal Notice?) – Part 1 (6/4/18)
- Judge, Jury... Trashman (6/1/18)
- Diary of Cape Girardeau Road Deconstruction (5/11/18)
- Trying To Save A Tree From City “Improvements” (4/30/18)2
The Parties Attempt To Meet
After the recent political successes of the Tea Party, other already existing parties that have not previously been known for their political aspirations have convened to discuss their respective platforms. The meeting is not going well...
Tupperware Party: (banging a gavel on the podium)HELLO! Could we please have some order?
Block Party: Geez Tupper, you are always such the wet blanket. Have some fun, for gosh sakes.
Voice From A Corner Of The Room: They say I'm a wet blanket. Nobody likes me.
Tupperware Party:(ignoring the VFACOTR) That's not true, Block. I know how to have fun. I have fun all the time.
Tailgate Party: Like when, Tupper? When was the last time you just let out a big YEEEEEE-HAAAA just for the heck of it?
Tupperware Party: Well, I can't really say, Tail. But I burp all the time. Surely that counts for something. Burping is fun.
VFACOTR: I don't know why nobody likes me. I'm a fun guy.
Bachelor Party: (also ignoring the VFACOTR) Burping fun? Gimme a break, Tupper. Burping by itself is not fun, but if you add some booze, some gambling, some strippers, some more booze, and some really nice cigars to that burping, now that my friend, is fun.
Tupperware Party: OK, I know I keep a tight lid on myself. It is just not my nature to just let loose like some of you. I'm a type-A kind of guy, but enough about me. Could we please have some order?!! HEY, Party-In-My-Pants! Will you quit bothering Bachelorette Party? You are obviously creeping her out.
VFACOTR: I thought about asking Bachelorette Party out once, but didn't. I knew she would turn me down.
Tupperware Party: (still ignoring the VFACOTR) And you guys back in the back! Yes, I'm talking to you Mary Kay and Pampered Chef and Amway and Avon and the rest of you home catalog parties. Quit trying to sell amongst yourselves and have a seat. You don't see me trying to sell anyone a FridgeSmart 7-piece set of food storage containers at the ridiculously low discount of 50%, now do you? That's not why we've gotten together.
VFACOTR: Nobody ever invites me to a home catalog party. I don't know why. I'm fun. I'd buy stuff.
Tupperware Party:(no longer ignoring the VFACOTR) And Pity Party, will you PLEASE STOP WHINING!
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