WereAmish Only Thing To Fear Visiting 'The Simple Life'

"For The Simple Life, Visit Amish Country," it proclaimed.

Over the years, I have been through parts of Missouri, Illinois and Indiana where a number of Amish reputedly reside. My rule of thumb is that you're in Amish Country when you start seeing those horse-and-buggy signs by the roadside. They are like the leaping buck signs that let you know you're in Deer Country.

I don't recall ever seeing any actual Amish when passing through Amish Country in my travels, but I'm sure they were there. The Highway Departments of Missouri, Illinois and Indiana don't put up those signs without a good reason. Obviously, at least one Amish person has been spotted at some point in time near a sign's location.

Considering that the signs I've seen always show a horse-and-buggy, I'm guessing that's what you should be looking out for when driving through Amish Country. Obviously, buggies being pulled by horses go a lot slower than other more conventional traffic. That can be dangerous.

Or at least I assume that their slowness is the issue. Perhaps, some Amish are like deer and leap out into traffic without any notice. I don't recall seeing any road signs featuring a leaping horse-and-buggy. A sign like that would imply a pretty scary scenario.

I once hit a large buck in Kentucky who leaped out in front of my SUV -- on a highway that I would like to note had not a single leaping deer sign -- and it did a lot of damage to my vehicle.

And that was only one 150-pound buck.

Just imagine if you were tooling along through Amish Country when a pair of raging, half-ton draft horses pulling one of those menacing-looking pitch-black buggies T-boned you from out of the bushes? You'd be a goner.

Of course, that raises the question of who -- or what -- would be driving this buggy? Surely, not one of the docile Amish, like you see on TV.

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Obviously, if you ever happen to be in this unfortunate predicament and are unsure if you are facing a WereWolf or a WereAmish, a WereAmish will always be wearing a tidy wide-brimmed hat. And of course, driving a buggy.

But I digress. While the thought of WereAmish scares the bejesus out of me, I know the likelihood of their existence is very slim and that really wasn't what piqued my interest when I read the headline of the travel story in the newspaper.

What occurred to me was the fact that Amish are pretty unique. Their lifestyle and their religious beliefs tend to be a seamless blur that is highly unusual in today's world.

Can you think of any other religion that is a tourist attraction?

Oh sure there are places like Rome where Catholics like to visit, because it is the Pope's HQ. And Jerusalem is the Holy Land for several religions, so most of the people who visit there are likely on a pilgrimage of some type.

But do Jewish people go to Vatican City to gawk at the Catholics who are congregating there? Or does a Hindu family vacation in Jerusalem just so they can ogle some honest-to-goodness Christians, Muslims or Jews? I think not.

But Amish people in America have become a tourist attraction. Their way of life is so different from the majority that some people feel it is OK to visit their communities to gawk.

The Amish seem to be OK with it. I guess they've grown accustomed to the paparazzi and appear to have embraced their fame. Tourism has been good for the Amish. Lots of things are marketed as Amish-this or Amish-that. Having the word Amish assigned to a product implies that it is of good quality, undoubtedly made in America.

While I've never before had the desire to visit Amish Country, maybe I will do so in the future. It might be kind of fun visiting "the simple life." I may even make a long weekend of it and stay at some quaint local inn on a lonesome country highway.

At least I will if there's not going to be a full moon, just to be on the safe side.