Brad Hollerbach is the Director of Information Technology for the Southeast Missourian. His opinions are his own and do not reflect those of the newspaper or its editorial board. He writes this blog primarily for his own amusement and to parody the absurdities of the world we live in. He lives with his wife and two cats that don't really care for one another in Cape.

New State of Missouri Hours: Alternating Tuesdays

Posted Tuesday, June 22, 2010, at 12:00 AM

Missouri Governor Jay Nixon announced new operating hours for all state offices effective July 1.

The governor made the announcement at an unusual press conference site: a ledge on the outside of the Capital Building dome. He said he felt the location was "appropriate considering the state of the state's economy."

The Governor told reporters via bullhorn that because the state government has no money and expects to have even less money in the future, as of July 1 all official state offices will only be open every other Tuesday as a cost-saving measure.

The furlough program is being called Government Reductions In Missouri (GRIM) and no state offices are excluded.

"Everyone is going to share the pain," the Governor said from his ledge.

Nixon explained that the furlough program is intended to encourage state employees to "hopefully start a business, or maybe get a second job, really anything that will generate any kind of taxes. Really. Anything."

The executive branch is not excluding itself from this mandatory furlough program. Governor Nixon said that he has already lined up two part-time jobs for himself.

"Starting July 1, I will be the overnight short order cook at the local Denny's and on the weekends I have snagged the job of greeter at the Wal-Mart in Marshall, Missouri."

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I thought Denny's and Wal-Mart required experience and a criminal background check before hiring. Also, Wal-Mart greeters need to know how to act in front of the public. Doesn't seem like a good match for the gov.

-- Posted by ParkerDaws on Tue, Jun 22, 2010, at 6:05 AM
Be a hoot if you called state government in JC and now one answered.

-- Posted by IonU on Tue, Jun 22, 2010, at 7:14 AM
Um... this makes absolutely no sense. First they cancel Truman Day as a holiday because it would save money to have the offices open, but now it costs money to keep them open (which I originally would have thought in the first place)?

Second, part-time job? Who's really going to hire someone to only work one day every two weeks? I'm sure most of these state employees will just cut back even further, which results in less tax revenue, not more.

-- Posted by almighty on Tue, Jun 22, 2010, at 7:24 AM
Okay perhaps I took this post a little too literally lol.

-- Posted by almighty on Tue, Jun 22, 2010, at 7:28 AM
Ya know, might not be a bad idea for the Federal government to copy and follow. Missouri leads the way!

-- Posted by voyager on Tue, Jun 22, 2010, at 9:21 AM

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