Brad Hollerbach is the Director of Information Technology for the Southeast Missourian. His opinions are his own and do not reflect those of the newspaper or its editorial board. He writes this blog primarily for his own amusement and to parody the absurdities of the world we live in. He lives with his wife and two cats that don't really care for one another in Cape.

Missouri Considering 'Soft Drink' Tax

Posted Thursday, June 17, 2010, at 12:00 AM

Our government -- pretty much all of them, federal, state and municipal -- are still reeling from the effects of the recession and experiencing a financial condition that economists like to call a "Huge Pucker."

This is not a good thing.

For instance, states like Missouri that by law must balance their budgets are slashing billions while others are spending billions more of anticipated future revenue to support current "necessary" programs and fulfill legally mandated obligations.

Because governments don't exactly make a lot of products or provide many services they can charge for, when their revenue is off significantly, they tend to borrow (if that is allowed), raise taxes or create new ones.

One of these new taxes -- or I should actually say, attempts at a new tax -- recently caught my attention since it is near and dear to my heart.

Soda tax.

Some states are actually considering levying a special tax on soda and other sweetened beverages. One proposal is as much as a PENNY AN OUNCE!

If that tax were put into effect, my Route 44 from Rhodes would cost $1.59 rather than $1.15. Of course, I would sue, because how much of those fountain drinks are actually "soda?" Even when I make my own drink at a convenience store at least a third of the cup is filled with ice so I should not be paying any "sweet drink" excise tax on ice.

And how much actual beverage is in a cup when you go through the drive-thru of a fast food restaurant? From years of field research, I can assure you that ice accounts for at least 2/3 of the container. Should we pay taxes on that? Heck no!

Or what if I get un-sweet tea rather than soda in my cup? Will I have to pay tax on it? It's not a sweetened drink. Or if I add sweetener to my tea will that mean I'm liable for the taxes?

And how will the clerks in the store know that I have a giant container of soda and not water? Will they have to perform chemical analysis on each and every fountain drink before the customers leave the premises?

One Missouri legislator, Jeff Roorda(D) from Jefferson County proposed a variation on the soda tax that numerous other states are considering.

Earlier this year he introduced HB 1561 which targets highly caffeinated beverages. The bill proposes charging 5 cents for every ounce of any beverage that contain 5 or more milligrams of caffeine per ounce.

Since I don't normally order my beverages based on milligrams of caffeine, I found a database of caffeinated beverages with that information.

Surprisingly, Representative Roorda's legislation does not appear to be targeting soda. Coke, Pepsi and most common soft drinks have only about 3 milligrams of caffeine per ounce. They would not be taxed if HB1561 became law.

However, "energy drinks" as well as tea and coffee do exceed that amount.

You read that correctly. Representative Roorda would like to heavily tax coffee and tea, the two beverages that most adults can't live without on a daily basis. That 16-ounce cup of Joe you get at Mickey-D's every morning would cost you a buck more. In comparison, the Missouri excise tax on a 40-ounce bottle of Colt-45 is about 2 cents. Go figure.

Political shenanigans like this proposed caffeinated beverage tax almost makes me want to join the Tea Party movement. However, if I do I want to go "old school" and I, like the colonial Bostonians, would want to throw something into water to show my displeasure.

Starting with Representative Roorda.

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Didn't some famous French person say it best, "Let them drink water."

-- Posted by IonU on Thu, Jun 17, 2010, at 7:31 AM
A French princess reputedly said "Let them eat cake" (while often attributed to Marie Antoinnette this has never been verified, according to the web) and presumably this is variation on that, but I couldn't find who first coined it.

I'm not opposed to drinking water, but I do like a Route 44 cup of unsweet ice tea in the morning when I'm at work (I'm drinking one now) and find it ridiculous that this proposed tax would be SIGNIFICANTLY greater than the state tax on beer which is a lowly 6 cents a gallon.

Thanks for reading.

-- Posted by Brad_Hollerbach on Thu, Jun 17, 2010, at 9:10 AM
So would caffeine free sodas be tax free?

This whole soda tax is ridiculous! Imagine the ramifications:

1. No more free refills - soda at some places is expensive as it is (ahem Ruby Tuesdays ahem)

2. Soda cubes and packs would be a lot more money.

3. What else will they tax?

-- Posted by gehagge on Thu, Jun 17, 2010, at 9:40 AM
I am appalled, oh wait....no tax on Coke. Nevermind, carry on. ☻

-- Posted by Turnip on Thu, Jun 17, 2010, at 12:31 PM
I say bring it on...and while they are at it they can go ahead and raise taxes on fast food, puppies, and fun too. Maybe if it passes the rest of the public will know what it feels like to have something you enjoy (but don't need) taxed outrageously high. I speak of smoking of course... It's not going to be so fun when your coke costs eighty cents more than it did the day before is it? With the cigarette tax I always hear the argument that second hand smoke hurts others and raises the cost of healthcare..which I don't disagree with, but what about the cost of healthcare associate with sugar induced coronary artery disease?

To me though, the biggest reason that I'm actually against something like this soda tax is the same reason I'm against a smoking ban. Every time the smoking ban argument comes up, everybody is all over how great it will be for non smokers...and that's probably the case, but I don't think people realize that with governmental controls and taxation of legal habits, addiction, or vices (whether it be soda, booze, or a tv show) that it's a slippery slope into a situation where a population is told what to eat, when to think, and where to do it. Just food for thought!

-- Posted by dtcgres on Thu, Jun 17, 2010, at 12:38 PM
Oh boy, if you add a booze tax along with a soda tax, does that mean you get taxed twice for mixed drinks? Really looking forward to forking over even more for a rum and coke...

I have a radical solution to the obesity problem this kind of tax may be targeting... provide a complete tax write-off for getting liposuction. It could be less cost prohibitive over time than the cost of the myriad of chronic diseases such as diabetes, surgery for heart disease, etc. If people get lipo, they reduce their health problems by shedding those extra pounds, and it can increase self-esteem, reducing their stress levels and therefore being even healthier!

(BTW, to those who may be dense and about to argue about this idea... this suggestion was made in jest)

-- Posted by almighty on Thu, Jun 17, 2010, at 2:36 PM
I don't smoke dtc, but it amazes me at how the taxes keep ratcheting up for that vice. And to think, Missouri will soon have the lowest cigarette tax in the country.

Actually, Almighty, that's a pretty good suggestion. It could even stimulate the economy when all those skinnier people need to buy a new wardrobe.

TFR

-- Posted by Brad_Hollerbach on Thu, Jun 17, 2010, at 3:27 PM
Well, OK then, lets start the Coffee Party or the Coke Party, Or the Pepsi Party.. My favorit would be the Dr. Pepper Party.

By the way, any special discount for diet drinks?

-- Posted by voyager on Fri, Jun 18, 2010, at 4:12 PM
Come on, Rick, you know better than that. The supermarkets would never go for it.

By the way, you ever really notice the Wal-Mart shopping carts? They are Humongus!

-- Posted by voyager on Mon, Jun 21, 2010, at 9:19 AM

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