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A Meeting of Soda Additives Anonymous
"I'd like to welcome Brad to this meeting. This is his first visit to Soda Additives Anonymous."
A dozen voices chorused the sentiment.
"Brad would you like to share some things about yourself with the group?"
"Uh, yes. I've been something of a soda addict for years. I first got hooked when 7-11 introduced the Big Gulp in 1980. But at first it was just soda, just lots and lots of soda. Diet Pepsi mostly. I was fine with that for years.
"But then one time I was going through the drive-through at the Keg Shoppe on Independence and they had a sign in the window saying I could add vanilla to my soda for just 15 cents more. So I thought I'd try it. And I found I liked it. I really, really like it.
"Soon I was visiting them every other day getting a soda and squirt of that delicious extract. But then one squirt wasn't enough, so I'd start buying two squirts.
"Then the Keg Shoppe closed, and I didn't know where to turn to. Barnes and Noble carried some vanilla syrup and I bought a bottle, but it just wasn't the same. Then I found out that Kidd's on Kingshighway had vanilla syrup and I started going through their drive-thru.
"I thought I had my addiction under control. I was happy to go to Kidd's just a couple times a week for a fix. But then one day I was getting gas at the Rhodes on William, and noticed back at their soda fountains that they had vanilla and cherry extracts... on tap. I could put in as much as I wanted into my soda for no extra charge.
"So I made a Coke-Zero and put in a couple squirts of vanilla. It was soooo good. I went back the next day for another... and then, the day after that. I had to have my daily fix. Sometime I even stopped by a couple times a day. I couldn't control myself.
"At first I was OK with just a couple squirts. But then it started losing its edge. I started putting in more squirts. Two squirts became three. Three became a four. Soon I was paying neighborhood kids to distract the clerks at Rhodes to I could 'beer bong' some of that delicious syrup right from the tap.
"I need help.
"My name is Brad and I'm a soda additives addict."
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