Brad Hollerbach is the Director of Information Technology for the Southeast Missourian. His opinions are his own and do not reflect those of the newspaper or its editorial board. He writes this blog primarily for his own amusement and to parody the absurdities of the world we live in. He lives with his wife and two cats that don't really care for one another in Cape.

Beggar Needs Better Manners

Posted Monday, March 1, 2010, at 12:00 AM

I was filling up my gas tank at Rhodes the other evening. It was cold and damp and I was wishing the gas would pump a little faster so I could get out of the wind, when I felt a tap on my shoulder.

It was a girl 15, or possibly 16. She was with another girl who looked about the same age.

The girl who tapped me on the shoulder said, "Give me three dollars."

This was rather an unexpected request to encounter while pumping gas, but years of fielding phone calls from telemarketers wanting to sell me everything from enhanced cable service to "good-as-brand-new-but-at-only-half-the-price" laser printer cartridges had prepared me for this moment.

I said "No" and turned away.

She walked off with her friend, but continued begging from other people pumping gas and a few pedestrians cutting across the parking lot. I don't know if anyone actually gave her the money she was wanting.

Now, you might think I am a callous SOB for not assisting this teenager in what was obviously a time of need and you'd be right. I am a callous SOB. However, it would have been a different situation if I'd known the girl, but I'd never seen her before. She was a total stranger and when a total stranger demands that I give them money, I will always say no. Well, on second thought, if the total stranger demanding money happens to be pointing a gun at me I might say yes. But in this case, the girls appeared to be weaponless so I said no.

I do find it interesting how gender and race affect people's actions. Had this been two African-American males rather than a pair of Caucasian girls asking for money from the customers at this gas station, I bet someone would have called the cops and their butts would have quickly been warming a bench at the juvenile detention center for attempted extortion.

But since they we're comely girls, that didn't happen. They just kept canvassing everyone in sight for three dollars.

Reflecting on this situation, I was annoyed -- although not surprised -- by the girl's lack of manners. Whatever happened to "Please?"

What the girl should have said to me was "Excuse me, sir. You don't know me, but may I please have three dollars?" And then she should have explained why she needed the money.

That's what she should have done, rather than just demanding that I give her three dollars.

My answer still would have been the same, partly because I am a callous SOB, but mostly because I had no cash on me.

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You should have notified Rhodes management who then should have taken action to have them leave the premises. Customers should not be required to put up with panhandling. I guess you took "it's the other guy's problem" approach.

-- Posted by ParkerDaws on Mon, Mar 1, 2010, at 6:29 AM
What about this response:

"Sorry kid, I'm workin' this side of the street."

-- Posted by voyager on Mon, Mar 1, 2010, at 6:53 AM
Perhaps, I should have, Parker, although this is one of those damned-if-you-do, damned-if-you-don't situations.

If I had told the management at Rhodes about the girls and had then written about it here in this blog, I probably would have gotten several comments chastising me for tattling on them for a "victimless" crime.

And besides, it was cold and I was en route to pick up dinner and the moon was nearly full and they could have been she-wolves and... oh heck, I bet I can think of a hundred different reasons why I didn't tell Rhodes management.

I promise that if it happens again, I will promptly tell the management of the gas station and not leave it up to the "other guy."

Actually Rick, I thought the dollar amount was interesting. A dollar. Five dollars. Even ten dollars. But three dollars is an interesting amount.

I wonder if any sociologist has ever done a study on the effectiveness of panhandling using odd dollar amounts? Is asking for one dollar more effective than asking for say, 89 cents?

Thanks for reading.

-- Posted by Brad_Hollerbach on Mon, Mar 1, 2010, at 8:42 AM
In retrospect, telling Rhodes management may be a waste of time, or giving them just another reason to step away from customer service duties. Unfortunately, they are becoming about the only show in town and that is scary. This morning's episode on KingsHighway was typical: Five coffee urns empty and turned backwards with nothing brewing. All the large cups gone, 3 of the other cup slots empty. Coffee, cream, sugar, debris scattered around the coffee bar, but there was an employee diligently raising a dust cloud with a floor vac. (but I do prefer dust mites with my donut). One register open, four people in line. I guess my definition of "convenience" store is different than theirs. There are other options, but everyone is equally mediocre. Speaks to your last column regarding the loss of customer service ethic.

-- Posted by ParkerDaws on Mon, Mar 1, 2010, at 11:44 AM
Brad, for a self-professed 'callous SOB' you were WAAAAY nicer than I would have been. I'd have told them to get a ******' job. ☻

-- Posted by Turnip on Mon, Mar 1, 2010, at 1:11 PM
Three dollars? As in "phoney as a $3 dollar bill"?

-- Posted by voyager on Mon, Mar 1, 2010, at 5:39 PM
ParkerDaws you should check out the new Sinclair station on Kingshighway, the place is clean, polite and the coffee is Great!

-- Posted by koss on Tue, Mar 2, 2010, at 9:14 AM
The only thing I see that you done wrong was TURNING-AWAY, once you said NO.

Whether they be male/female. Black, white, or green with alternating purple/pink-dots. Or young, old, or both, or neither. NEVER turn your back on someone who's already tapped-you on the shoulder, especially a stranger, with the tone of voice you implied:"Gimme three-dollars." Like you mentioned, even a small-"please" may have softened it a bit.

And the same advice MIGHT BE useful when it pertains to selected "NON-strangers", as well...!

-- Posted by donknome-2 on Tue, Mar 2, 2010, at 11:52 AM
Obviously these girls are undereducated and most likely wanted the money for a joint, a bottle of wine, or some other dependency problem.

If they were hungry, they would have asked for money for something to eat. Driving a small motor home full time. I have been hit up many times. I respond by offering them something to eat from our RV like sandwiches, soup, cold drinks, etc. Many times the panhandlers decline because they do not really want food. If they are hungry, they will gladly accept my offer for food.

-- Posted by Balmy on Sat, Mar 13, 2010, at 11:17 PM

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