Brad Hollerbach is the Director of Information Technology for the Southeast Missourian. His opinions are his own and do not reflect those of the newspaper or its editorial board. He writes this blog primarily for his own amusement and to parody the absurdities of the world we live in. He lives with his wife and two cats that don't really care for one another in Cape.

Foiled Again By Product Safety Packaging

Posted Friday, February 26, 2010, at 12:00 AM

I was muttering unpleasant words under my breath the other morning about Tylenol.

It's not that I dislike Tylenol. I actually use the pain-reliever on occasion. I was cussing to myself because of the result of the Tylenol poisonings that occurred in and around Chicago in 1982. Seven people died after taking Extra-Strength Tylenol that had been laced with potassium cyanide.

Apparently, the culprit stole packages of Tylenol from various stores in the Chicago area, replaced the contents of some of the capsules with the poison then returned the adulterated pain medication back to the stores where unsuspecting consumers later purchased them.

The case has never been solved, but it has had a long-lasting affect on consumer products packaging.

In an attempt to prevent a tampering incident of that magnitude from happening again, the government initiated reforms on how companies package their products, which resulted in me muttering unpleasant words under my breath the other morning.

I was trying to open a brand-new bottle of fish oil pills that was thoroughly sealed shut for my safety.

First, I had to deal with the cellophane wrapping the cap. It was made of Kevlar and I had to use my Dremel tool with a diamond-tipped bit to remove the thing. Thankfully, the lid wasn't one of those child-proof caps -- this was just fish oil tablets -- so it came right off, but underneath was another layer of Product Safety Defense: a foil seal.

But not just any foil seal, but a seal so tight that nothing -- not a fingernail or a butter knife or a pair of scissors -- could wiggle its way under the edge to allow me to pry it off. Puncturing the seal also was out of the question. I'm pretty sure that it was foil embedded with two layers of Kevlar wrapped in steel.

Out came the Dremel again with its diamond-tipped bit. As quick as an actor in a Shakespeare play could say "Off with their heads!" the top of the bottle was severed, the Kevlar and steel seal still firmly in place, but at least I could access my fish oil pills.

Of course, now I can't screw the cap back on, but that's what Reynolds Wrap is for. I've torn off a piece and fashioned a little silver helmet for my topless bottle.

Finally, product safety packaging I will have no problems opening.

Comments

View 7 comments or respond

Community discussion is important, and we encourage you to participate as a reader and commenter. Click here to see our Guidelines. We also encourage registered users to let us know if they see something inappropriate on our site. You can do that by clicking "Report Comment" below.

Nope, no cotton in this jar. Fish oil tablets tend to be a bit clingy so I guess they don't move much in shipping.

A broken hand or wrist would be a problem opening most jars much less any that have safety mechanisms. I was going to suggest using an electric miter saw to wack the top off of the container -- after clamping it in place, of course -- but then the pills would spill all over the place. That would be a mess.

Thanks for reading.

-- Posted by Brad_Hollerbach on Fri, Feb 26, 2010, at 8:30 AM
This all comes from the same thinkers that put the Preperation H on the bottem store shelf.

Seriously, I think we can all relate to the opening of this story. Another thing that bothers me is that the different materials in so many packages make seperation for recycling near impossible.

Have you ever cut yourself opening medication intended for a cut?

-- Posted by Old John on Fri, Feb 26, 2010, at 9:34 AM
You neglected to say why you using fish oil. I know motor oil is supposed to lubercate motors, but do you have fish that need lubercating or what?

-- Posted by voyager on Fri, Feb 26, 2010, at 10:17 AM
Not that I can remember on medication, Old John but I certainly have on some of that packaging that is in the clear plastic cases that are welded shut (that's actual not an exaggeration. Those case are sealed with a type of weld).

Voyager, most fish are slippery enough and don't need any oil. Reputedly fish oil is good for cholesterol and since mine is a little high, I've been taking it. I'm just trying to put off getting a Lipitor or the like prescription.

TFR

-- Posted by Brad_Hollerbach on Fri, Feb 26, 2010, at 10:27 AM
I really could see the use of power tools to open a bottle become a lawsuit. Someone will probably cut a tendon in their hand trying to cut off a bottle-top and sue the drug companies. Then there will have to be tiny warnings that say 'Do not use power equipment, saws, or knives to open this bottle.'

Pretty soon we'll have to start reading bottles with a microscope. Or create jumbo size bottles.

-- Posted by almighty on Fri, Feb 26, 2010, at 12:52 PM
Horse crap, Brad. Put some muscle in it, as my beloved Grandma would say. ☻

I personally hate the bottles that insist you line up the lil' arrows. Some of those can be quite testy.

-- Posted by Turnip on Sat, Feb 27, 2010, at 11:06 AM
Oh, I could have put some muscle into it, Turnip, but I'm the type of guy who believes EVERYTHING goes better with power tools.

I especially love my reciprocating saw. It's perfect for everything from carving a turkey to trimming toenails... although not with the same saw blade of course. That would be disgusting!

TFR

-- Posted by Brad_Hollerbach on Sat, Feb 27, 2010, at 5:56 PM

Respond to this blog

Posting a comment requires a subscription.