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The Irony Of It All
Brad Hollerbach

New Zoning Code Almost Restricts 'Centers of Sin'

Posted Wednesday, February 24, 2010, at 12:00 AM

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  • If you're really looking for a high profit, low investment business, you should open an Armadillo Safari. You might want to consider hiring James Baughn as a guide.

    -- Posted by Professor_Bubba on Wed, Feb 24, 2010, at 7:04 AM
  • Wait a minute- you mean they make movies without naked people in them?

    -- Posted by Skeptic1 on Wed, Feb 24, 2010, at 7:49 AM
  • That's not a bad idea, Professor Bubba, although I like a fair fight.

    What if we get James "The Great White Armadillo Tracker" he is, to find us a herd of Armadillia (or is it an Armada?) and we outfit them with lasers so they can fight back? You know kind of like Dr. Evil's plan to have sharks with lasers.

    Adidas, I think they do make a few movies without naked people although they do feature mostly naked chipmunks and dinosaurs, but no one ever complains about them.

    Rick, that's a good point. Guess it's the same way as having a chain-smoking, over-weight physician telling you that you need to lose weight and lay off the Marlboros.

    Thanks for reading.

    -- Posted by Brad_Hollerbach on Wed, Feb 24, 2010, at 8:37 AM
  • When folks start yammering about community standards down here in the Sunshine State, I say, "You know that dirty book store up on 45th Street, and the one on Southern Blvd. near the airport, and the one on 10th Ave.? Well, they've been there for decades. Name me a Christian book store that's been in business as long as they have, THEN talk to me about community standards."

    In the early 70s, Palm Beach County, FL, had a Republican sheriff who had been in the insurance business until the governor appointed him to put on a badge. His big deal was to drag his trophy wife along on his periodic media event raids of adult book stores.

    Trust me, it's difficult to find an angle in one of those places where you can shoot a picture that can run in your average family newspaper.

    On the other hand, the backgrounds made for some great shots of his trophy wife for the bulletin board.

    -- Posted by ksteinhoff on Wed, Feb 24, 2010, at 10:09 AM
  • Hellfire and Damnation, Brad, there's always shortsighted and Bluenose people who always can be counted upon to take the joy out of life.

    Love the idea of your sin barge, but lets think larger.

    Using your barge as an anchor and starting point, lets rezone a area generally between Broadway to Good Hope bounded from your barge to say about Henderson or maybe West End Blvd. Enact strict building codes with maintenace and preservation in mind. Lease to any sin business to engage in naked capitalism. Open up the old Esquire, Broadway, and Rialto theaters to show naked movies. The more sinful the better,

    Well, you get the general idea. Think of the tourist dollars and goldmine for tax collections.

    Lets give the area a name like Cape Sin. Think of all the wonderful signage to be created and the great advertising.

    "Welcome to Cape Sin, an oasis of fun in the Sinless midwest". Big flashing signs.

    And the slogan "What happens in Cape Sin couldn't happen anywhere else!" or "Don't worry about it. Nobody will believe you did it in Cape Sin."

    Sure would take care of the parking lot problems and SEMO's relentless march South (at least).

    Wonder how "Skin City" would work out?

    -- Posted by voyager on Wed, Feb 24, 2010, at 12:20 PM
  • So, will Southeast's campus be part of the AEOD? Since a figure drawing class is offered every semester that comprises almost entirely of drawing nude models, wouldn't that count as a modeling studio?

    -- Posted by Pete72 on Thu, Feb 25, 2010, at 10:50 AM
  • I'm glad you bring that up Curls. When I first read the whole AEOD, I immediately thought of the figure drawing classes. I have a good friend from college who made very good extra money posing nude for the art department back in the 1980s.

    However, here is yet another problem with how we implement zoning. We have ALL of these districts, but we don't have an EXEMPT district.

    The University property is entirely exempt because it belongs to the state. But for reasons that complete escape me, the City has placed most of SEMO's property under R2 or R4 even though zoning doesn't pertain to them.

    Maybe the city does that just-in-case the University were to sell some of it's property back to the private sector.

    The same goes for federal property. It's also exempt.

    Thanks for reading.

    -- Posted by Brad_Hollerbach on Thu, Feb 25, 2010, at 11:10 AM
  • I've heard of "booze cruises", but you might be on to something here with the barge idea !!!

    -- Posted by jacksonjazzman on Thu, Feb 25, 2010, at 12:26 PM