- Cape Rolling Out Bloomfield Road Art Trail (8/21/19)1
- Donors Pledge Almost Two Grand To Replace SEMO's Possibly Sentient ‘Gum Tree' (8/16/18)
- SEMO and The Will To (Become A Consultant) – Part 2 (6/14/18)
- SEMO and The Will To Do (You Really Want To See That Legal Notice?) – Part 1 (6/4/18)
- Judge, Jury... Trashman (6/1/18)
- Diary of Cape Girardeau Road Deconstruction (5/11/18)
- Trying To Save A Tree From City “Improvements” (4/30/18)2
The Irony Of It All
Brad Hollerbach is the Director of Information Technology for the Southeast Missourian. His opinions are his own and do not reflect those of the newspaper or its editorial board.
He writes this blog primarily for his own amusement and to parody the absurdities of the world we live in. He lives with his wife and two cats that don't really care for one another in Cape.
New Trash Rules Impractical For Parts Of Cape
Posted Wednesday, January 20, 2010, at 1:30 AM
Last week, the city of Cape Girardeau sent its residential trash customers a brochure explaining the new automated trash service that will start May 1.
As a part of the service, all residential customers will receive two trashcans, a large one for recyclables and a smaller one for trash. They are designed to be picked up by a special trash truck with a robotic arm.
The system is expected to save the city money in the long run in both labor savings and insurance costs.
The brochure's purpose was to explain the details of the new and exciting program, and in an effort to make it new and exciting for the residents, the program has been given the new, but not so exciting acronym C.A.R.T.S. which is short for Cape Girardeau Automated Recycling & Trash Services. It's a play on words since the system uses wheeled trashcarts.
I'll discuss the dull nickname for the program another time, but today I'd like to comment on a couple of the benefits and rules mentioned in the brochure.
First of all, the mailer touted the fact that "the carts provide a uniform look to our city streets." I think the city is truly stretching if they think this is a realistic benefit of this program.
Unless the city outlaws street parking or mandates that everyone drive the same color of vehicle, there will never, ever be a "uniform look" to our city streets no matter how pretty the trashcans are.
But what really caught my attention -- and my ire -- was the section in the brochure about trashcan placement.
It states that on trash day your cart must be within 3 feet of the curb and must be "at least three feet away from other carts, mailboxes, parked cars and other obstructions so the truck can access the cart."
That means residents need to keep nearly a nine-foot opening by the curb for the new trash system to work properly -- 3 feet on either side of the can and the carts are up to two and half feet wide.
The brochure further says "it is the residents' responsibility to ensure the truck can access the cart" and "if a cart is not accessible, it will NOT be emptied and will be collected the following week."
This made me wonder which newer city subdivision the person or persons live in who created this rule and dreamed up this benefit.
It's obvious that whoever it was does not live in the older parts of town. You know, the parts of Cape where a lot of the working-class people live and there is a whole bunch of rental property. Many of the homes in those neighborhoods are lucky to have even a driveway, much less a garage. Street parking is the norm in those areas.
Or consider the streets surrounding the University where hordes of commuter students not willing to pay SEMO for parking stickers tend to leave their vehicles while they're in class, potentially blocking access to trashcans.
And when it comes to rental property, there is always the issue of "overnight guests," especially when the renters are twentysomethings.
If you live next door to renters in their twenties the placement mandates of this new trash system will force you to have to contend not only with your neighbor's cars, but also their girl/boyfriend's cars, the cars of their buddies who got too wasted to drive and passed out in their living room, and possibly even the cars of people who left their vehicles there and went bar-hopping, but are now nowhere to be found, but their car is blocking the trash truck's access to your cart in front of your house.
This will be a problem.
In many older neighborhoods the only sure-fire place to leave your trashcan with 3 feet of clearance on either side will be either the middle of your driveway -- if you are fortunate enough to have a driveway -- or the middle of the street.
I speak of this issue from experience. My wife and I rent the house next to us to our two nephews and there have been numerous times when the street is empty at 10pm, but the next morning there are a half dozen cars lined up in front of my house including right where I put my trashcans.
But perhaps there is a bright side to this issue.
Based on this brochure from the city, it looks like homeowners have been practically deputized into being put in charge of their own trashcan security. The city says it is OUR responsibility as homeowners to keep a nearly nine-foot opening by the curb for the new trash system to work properly, so I'm fully prepared to do my civic duty as the designated Cart Constable for my property.
I'm optimistic that a little yellow paint and some stenciling will be enough, but I do have my sledgehammer close at hand in case anyone wants to disobey our rubbish regulations.
Oh sure, I know I can't move a car blocking access to my trashcan with a sledgehammer, but I can certainly make a statement with one. I imagine that when the word gets out about "that crazy cart constable guy with a sledgehammer" that no one will violate my trashcart loading zoning.
Just try to park in front of my house on Thursday morning. I have an 8-pound sledge, one of the most powerful hammers in the world ready and waiting. Go ahead and make my trashday.
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~Thanks to K and Ed for suggestions with this blog.
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The curb in front of the author's house in anticipation of the new trash service rules. |
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