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- SEMO and The Will To (Become A Consultant) – Part 2 (6/14/18)
- SEMO and The Will To Do (You Really Want To See That Legal Notice?) – Part 1 (6/4/18)
- Judge, Jury... Trashman (6/1/18)
- Diary of Cape Girardeau Road Deconstruction (5/11/18)
- Trying To Save A Tree From City “Improvements” (4/30/18)2
Meth -- Or Possibly Mentos -- Has Been On My Block
Meth is on my block.
OK, that might not be a completely true statement. No one on my block is probably actually making Meth. All of my neighbors are quiet and apparently law-abiding citizens. Although to be honest, I am a little suspicious about the octogenarians who live across the street from me. They're a little too quiet.
And how come I never see them leaving to go to work? They're always staying at home, puttering around in their yard as if they have all this free time. They have no visible signs of income and yet they have money to go shopping on a regular basis. That's certainly suspicious.
But enough about them, as I was saying, Meth has been on my block. I'm guessing that Meth either drove down my block or they may have strolled down my block, but in either case Meth appears to have been on my block and I don't like it.
How do I KNOW Meth has been on my block?
I found a soda bottle.
I noticed a 20 ounce bottle of Mountain Dew discarded near the curb by my driveway over the weekend. At first I thought nothing of it. Litterbugs are still rampant in this country and a hundred crying Indians in public service announcements will never completely correct that situation.
But then after a day or two and even after an overnight shower I noticed there was still a stain on the concrete next to the bottle. I thought that was odd. Spilled Mountain Dew usually evaporates after a couple hours. By this time, it had been there a couple of days.
So I went to pick up the litter and toss it in my trashcan, and there it was.
White stuff.
There was white stuff on the ground next to the soda bottle. And there was lots of white stuff actually in the soda bottle. And there was a hole burned in the side of the bottle. While Mountain Dew has some kick, I don't think it has enough kick to burn a hole in the side of a plastic container.
I don't know a lot about Meth, but I know it's made with white stuff and the process is kind of combustible. And I recently read that one new technique in manufacturing the drug involves soda bottles.
The only other thing that I know that uses soda bottles and white stuff and is somewhat explosive are those Mentos fountains. Surely, you've heard of the Mentos fountains. That's where acutely bored people drop several of the candies into a 2-liter bottle of soda then shake-it resulting in a jet-like spewing of the bottle's contents.
However, the Mentos fountains are usually created using 2-liter bottles of soda whereas this was a 20 ounce container.
I gingerly added the bottle to my trashcan being careful not to touch any of the white stuff. I didn't want to absorb any of the Meth on accident. Meth cooties are nothing to mess around with.
Now, I'm just trying to decide if I should call the cops even though my fingerprints are now on this suspicious container. I'm not really sure what they would do with it. I guess they could verify that it is Meth or just the remnants of someone's attempt at a mini-Mentos fountain.
In either case, it would be a good opportunity for me to talk to an officer. Somebody should let them know those suspicious octogenarian neighbors who have too much leisure time.
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