Some of you might be thinking that it is quite apparent that I have a rather healthy helping of poo for brains and if it were a real medical condition -- cranium crapus I imagine it would be called -- that I'd probably be considered terminal or at the very least on life-support.

However, that is not the type of crap that was on my mind.

Actually, the crap in question involved the forty bags of composted cow manure that I had purchased from Lowes over the course of the past two weekends.

Cow manure is one of the three "ingredients" I use when creating planting beds like the ones I finished in my backyard this past weekend. The other two ingredients are topsoil and peat moss.

I have built a number of planting beds over the years and I've found that this mixture works well. The plants like it and grow quickly and the beds stay nearly weed-free.

Two of the beds that I built this fall are quite sizable with berms, elevating them over a foot above the adjacent lawn. That's why I needed so much compost. Even a small berm can require a lot of material to create which is why I had to have forty bags of cow manure.

While I was unloading these bags I noticed that they had a brand-name. Who would have thought you could brand composted crap? I guess that proves the right marketer can sell ice to Eskimos.

It occurred to me while hauling them into my yard that "Moooonure" would make a catchy brand-name if I was into marketing composted cow dung. However, I discovered that I'm not the first person to think of that name. I checked on the Internet and a company already sells "Moo-Nure" available in 25-pound bags with a "reinforced handle for easy carrying."

Their website also claims that their product is "all organic, 100% natural." Considering the subject matter, isn't that to be expected? I've always thought that whatever came out of the south-end of a northbound cow was about as organic and as natural as you are ever going to step in.

However, "Moo-Nure" wasn't the compost being sold at Lowes. Theirs was named the very environmentally-friendly sounding "Evergreen."

Then I noticed that the manufacturer of the forty bags I had purchased is located in Muscle Shoals, Alabama. That's approximately 250 miles from here or about a six-hour drive.

That realization quickly put a damper on all of the environmentally-friendly feelings I was starting to have for my forty bags of fertilizer.

How can hauling composted poo 250 miles on a tractor-trailer be very environmentally-friendly? It would be one thing if our area had a bovine shortage and there were no other sources of cow manure, but according to the USDA, Missouri is the 9th largest cattle producer in the country. And where does Alabama rank on this list? 29th.

In short, Missouri should have enough cow pies to go around for everyone in the state who wants to enrich their gardens with composted moo cow meadow muffins. Lowes does not need to import their composted manure in from out of state.

We have plenty right here.

Starting with this blog which I guarantee is all organic and 100% natural.