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The Irony Of It All
Brad Hollerbach

SEMO Fair Should Hold Bicycle Beer Bandit Races

Posted Wednesday, August 19, 2009, at 12:00 AM

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  • I would rather see beer bandit races than the boring lineup of entertainment that the fair always offers. Why is it that the fair always offers the same type of music year after year after year instead of a variety? Is it too much to ask that the fair offer a different type of music genre every night so that it isn't all country and southern rock all the time?

    seriously, beer bandit racing would be a hoot to watch! And less noisy than the demo derby. Love the image of the McGruff dog taking a bite out of a beer bandit!!!!!!!!!!!!

    -- Posted by Skeptic1 on Wed, Aug 19, 2009, at 5:58 AM
  • Thanks for the tip about Burritoville. I think IHop also sells funnel cakes, although the closest one is Paducah. My wife and I are practically regulars at O'Charley's. When we have an Appy Night out there we usually split fried cheese wedges, chicken otenders and quesadillas, you know the usual health food. I will have to look at the fried taters.

    You know, if we couldn't get McGruff, perhaps we could use Tracker, the SEMO Junior mascot. We might also feature EXTREME Bicycle Beer Bandit Races and have McGruff or Tracker replaced by some of our local canine detectives. I bet the threat of a slobbering German shepherd would have the contestants peddling like there's no tomorrow.

    Thanks for reading.

    -- Posted by Brad_Hollerbach on Wed, Aug 19, 2009, at 8:39 AM
  • OMG- can you imagine the tourist dollars. Beer bandit racing would get so much publicity, it would end up on YouTube and become a national pasttime. Brad you would be a hero for inventing it. Brad start talking, if the SEMO fair can have Guitar Hero competitions, surely they can open their minds to this. Of course they still haven't open their minds to the grandstand music lineup, but we can hope.

    My personal favorite, btw, is fried turkey drumstick. yum

    -- Posted by Skeptic1 on Wed, Aug 19, 2009, at 9:28 AM
  • We could make the extreme event happen at various Historic Parking Lots throughout the city. The police could lay in wait for the contestants to go from historic parking lot to parking lot and unleash the canine detectives at unexpected times. We could call this event "The Extreme Beer Bandit Tour of Cape Girardeau". I think it has real possibilities.

    -- Posted by jcwill on Wed, Aug 19, 2009, at 9:58 AM
  • I like that idea jcwill. It's a twofer. I like twofers.

    What about also having a "Freestyle Bicyle Beer Bandit Races" where contestants might use other forms of transport besides a bicycle?

    Perhaps a unicycle or one of those miniature bicycles you see being ridden in parades sometimes or a skateboard (like to see that on a dirt track) or how about a Big Wheel. I wonder if they make a grownup size version? What fun!

    TFR.

    -- Posted by Brad_Hollerbach on Wed, Aug 19, 2009, at 10:25 AM
  • LOL! More great ideas from Brad! Seriously, I also only visit the fair for the food. I take a late lunch from work one day during the fair week and go over to chow down on a huge Fried Pork Tenderloin sandwich, and get a funnel cake and a fried snickers to take back to the office and share with the rest of the girls around me.

    -- Posted by farmwife2 on Wed, Aug 19, 2009, at 11:46 AM
  • But I bet Farmwife2 that the fair could lure you back onto their grounds with a spectacle as stupendous as Bicycle Beer Bandit races -- and of course more fair food -- right?

    I think this could be an annual event. The speediest participant of the evening could be crowned the Fastest Bicycle Beer Bandit in the World. If Usain Bolt can run a 100 meters in 9.4 seconds, I wonder how fast someone could realistically peddle that distance carrying two cases of beer?

    On a side-note, I wish someone at the SEMO District Fair would sell pork-kabobs like the Ste. Genevieve Pork Producers hawk at the Jour de Fete. Now thems some good eats.

    TFR

    -- Posted by Brad_Hollerbach on Wed, Aug 19, 2009, at 12:04 PM
  • oh yeah, pork-a-bobs. There was a guy last year selling those at Delta during the 100 mile yardsale- best I ever had!

    -- Posted by Skeptic1 on Wed, Aug 19, 2009, at 2:53 PM
  • Brad, what a imagination! Tell you what, you can have the use of my little Italian Greyhound (toy breed, 11 lbs average) who loves nothing better than running. He can travel faster than a bat out of (you know where.) Turn him lose on the bicycle beer bandits! What you could do is set up a racecourse, let the bicyclers who enter the race have a 100 foot headstart. Then turn Trig (Terrific Racing Italian Greyhound) lose. You could do a nice little side business taking bets who crosses finish line first. You'd make a small fortune since Trig always wins.

    The only flaw in this additional entertainment is that the Cape bluenoses may look with askance upon "wagering." But you're a clever lad, you could figure of a eupherism to cover that problem.

    At least, Brad, it is something different from the usual boring Fair entertainment.

    -- Posted by voyager on Thu, Aug 20, 2009, at 2:28 PM
  • I like "wagering" idea, Voyager. I think I would give Trig at least 5 to 1 odds that he'd catch at least one competitor before the finish line.

    I bet they could if there was a Charity angle.

    How about a Bicycle Beer Bandit BINGO Races. Every competitor could be assigned a Bingo Number and spectators could buy Bingo cards. Whoever won a race, their Bingo number would be called until somebody called Bingo. Half goes to the winning card and half to charity. Problem solved.

    TFR.

    -- Posted by Brad_Hollerbach on Thu, Aug 20, 2009, at 3:40 PM
  • Brad,

    Bingo! on Bingo. Little Trig would like that. Of course, he would insist upon presenting all the prizes.

    Don't forget the treats.

    -- Posted by voyager on Thu, Aug 20, 2009, at 8:50 PM
  • Hey, Just Me. Terrific idea. However, one small request. Please let us know beforehand yu start any of those races. We'll need to crate Trig. He's a sight hound and would be off running faster than a flash, putting the kids at a definate disavantage.

    -- Posted by voyager on Thu, Aug 20, 2009, at 10:24 PM