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- SEMO and The Will To (Become A Consultant) – Part 2 (6/14/18)
- SEMO and The Will To Do (You Really Want To See That Legal Notice?) – Part 1 (6/4/18)
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NEW FOUND VIDEO JUST ADDED!!!
Murray McOinkers Takes Exception To 'Swine Flu'
Dear Readers,
I allowed Murray McOinker to write this blog to provide the porcine perspective on the 'Swine Flu' pandemic scare. However, a barnyard informant I know only as DeepGoat has brought it to my attention that Mr. McOinker may be associated with a radical fringe pig group that has released the following video.
Due to disturbing imagery, parental guidance is suggested.
BH
Dear Humans,
It's bad enough that many of you SOBs like to eat me and my fellow porkers, but I can forgive you for that. I know we are tasty, very tasty.
In fact, just thinking of the McRib gets me all drooly. And let me tell you, crispy thick-cut pepper bacon that practically melts in your mouth is simply to die for.
Occasionally, when I want a midnight snack, but am too lazy to waddle over to the trough, I will nibble on one of my neighbors in the pigpen just to take the edge off. It's usually Phil. He sleeps like a log and never seems to notice. Heck, he doesn't even stop snoring. While, I don't consider myself a cannibal, I must admit we are very, very good eats.
So, I can forgive you for wanting to devour us.
But I cannot forgive you for naming a deadly virus after me and my brethren. After all, it was your species' poor hygiene and insatiable ravaging of the Earth's natural resources that stirred up this deadly virus cocktail that is killing your kind. Yet, you have the gall to name it 'Swine Flu.' Now, that is hogwash!
Don't blame this pandemic on us. The reports we are reading on the Internet indicate that this flu is a mix of swine, avian and human viruses. But do your experts call it Avian Flu or Human Flu or even the Humavine Flu? No, they do not. They call it Swine Flu. Like it is our fault.
Most of us pigs, don't even like the word "swine." That's your word. We find it offensive. It sounds too much like "whine" and while you may hear us squeal once in a while, you will not hear us whine. Most of us are not big complainers.
OK, I'll admit there are a few. I have some cousins who were extras in that movie "Deliverance" with Burt Reynolds and Ned Beatty and they complain all the time about how they were mistreated during the making of the film. But they do have a history of 'telling stories' as my mamma used to say, so I take what they tell me with a grain of salt. After all, why would a human do THAT to a pig?
Frankly, I don't think they're all there, if you know what I mean. There's quite a bit of inbreeding over in their neck of the woods, and a lot of my kin -- I hate to say this, since they are kin and all, but the truth is the truth -- well, they're just not right.
But they are the exceptions. Most of us pigs are just happy to hunker down in the mud and chill out without any whining whatsoever.
I'd like to see any of you humans spend a day in the old hog wallow. Better yet, why don't you tell that Jeff Probst fellow to forget about all those tropical paradises his TV show always goes to and have a season of "Survivor: PigPen." You humans couldn't survive a week in our muddy mosh pits.
But as I was saying, we don't like the word "swine." It's demeaning, No, we prefer the term "Piggy."
And we would prefer you not to name this disease after us and call it for what it actually is: Dirty Human Disease.
Sincerely,
Murray McOinkers
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