SkyMall Catalog:
Where Useless Garbage Goes To Be Sold

A couple weeks ago I flew to New York and at one point during the 3-hour flight, while reaching for the American Airlines magazine I pulled out the SkyMall Catalog instead. The headline on the cover trumpeted, "Own the limited-edition Star Trek Captain's Chair life-size replica!"

To heck with the magazine, this catalog obviously had better content, so I read on.

For those of you who have never flown or not flown in a long time, SkyMall is a catalog you find on most airlines showcasing unique goods from a variety of vendors.

Basically, it's a lot of garbage, that no one really needs, but it sure looks cool.

Here were some of the gems in the catalog, I uncovered during my flight.

A Home Defibrillator for $1275 seems like a pretty handy item if someone in your house has a known cardiac condition. I imagine Dick Cheney has one in every room of his home. I wonder if there are any other non-medical uses for a defibrillator so if you were to buy one, you would feel you were getting your moneys worth. Maybe you can use one to make a grill cheese sandwich really fast or to jumpstart a dead battery.

For a mere $200 you can buy a bill counter that counts all your paper money. Who actually needs this? I can understand a bank or maybe if you are a drug dealer, but does the average person have so many loose bills lying around that they need mechanical assistance in counting? I sure don't.

Then there were the two pages of American Airlines collectibles. There were model planes and all kinds of gear with the AA logos. The only thing missing was one of those old coin changers that hang off your belt with AA emblazoned upon it. I would buy one of those if I could. That way I could nickel and dime just like American Airlines does these days.

I was particularly intrigued by some offerings from a company call Design Toscano. They featured a two-foot-tall Garden Yeti that you could place in your backyard. It is "hand-painted for startling realism." Don't we all need a Little Big Foot to put next to the birdbath? Wouldn't it be funny if that were really how tall Big Foot was and that all the reported sightings over the years were cases of witnesses with bad depth perception?

Another garden décor offering was an item called Alien Gnome Bandits. My description can't do it justice, so see the picture below. It comes in two sizes. Maybe my wife can buy me one for my birthday. Hint. Hint.

And about that Star Trek Full-Size Captain's Chair. It features a "working swivel design, light-up controls, and sound effects from the original Star Trek series." I'm sure it would be the perfect addition for the middle of everyone's living room.

While I use to watch reruns of the original Star Trek series growing up, I never embraced the obsessive-ness that some fans have with the show.

The chair is a limited edition with only 1701 being made -- that's the ship number of the USS Enterprise. Two of my co-workers pointed that out to me. Duh. That also explains the price. The cost with shipping is $3,117. 01

A life, sold separately.

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