Dear Doofus...
In the White Buick at the ATM

Guy in the tan truck:

I always get out of my vehicle to use the ATM. Wait patiently in your truck until I'm finished. If I see your are irked, I might make a couple of phone calls before I leave. Strongly advise not to get out and approach me. I will take that as a threat to rob me. and you won't like what happens.

I always use someone's actions at an ATM as a good sign of character. Don't bother about whether someone gives a lot of money to charities, tithes at church, rescues cats from trees along public avenues, what else. Watch someone at an ATM. There, they are away from the eyes -- relatively speaking -- of most people. The courteous and good will transact their business, then pull a few car lengths forward to inspect the slip and put their money in their wallet or purse, in order to allow the motorist behind them to get on with his or her business. The evil, ego-centric and/or oblivious will not. Mussmuggins, you've indicted yourself.

It's always a Buick, isn't it?

Yes, it is. And, it is often white.

Thanks for reading.

Why don't people ever have anywhere to be? When I try to run ONE errand on my lunch break I usually get caught behind people like this that are oblivious of their inconvenience to others, and if they do realize they are frustrating others, they get an attitude. Basically I just heard, "if I take too much time at the ATM, it's going to make you mad and I'm going to continue to make you wait while I show you what a brat I can be, because I have no responsibilities to be anywhere and while find this as a topic of conversation with my other friends that have no place to be....EVER"

I'm just thankful the atm doesn't accept change, you know you'd be stuck there for an hour and a half waiting for someone with fake 4 inch nails prodding at buttons trying to get three dollars so she can get cigarettes.

Maybe we all should adopt this new-found ignorance, if we do our jobs poorly, we should strive to make our work even less satisfactory, to show people how bad we CAN fail at life, and get an attitude when we get written up and call it "a threat". "You won't like what happens if I see you as a threat to rob me." TO ROB WHAT?!?!? YOUR RECEIPTS?!?!

Better be careful, Just Me. They sell guns at Wal-Mart. Now I don't know if there is a 3 day waiting period, but if you get someone agitated enough they might try attacking you with one of those electric shopping carts.

Thanks for reading.

Where do I start? If deposits, purchasing stamps, and transferring money from one account to another takes up too much time, then why don't you ask the bank why they put those functions on the ATM in the first place? Isn't the definition of ATM Automated Teller Machine? Therefore, it performs all the functions of a human bank teller. Secondly, if you don't have time to wait then you have violated the rule of the seven P's...proper previous planning prevents **** poor performance. If you only have a half hour for lunch and you need to run to the bank, expect that during the busiest part of the work day you may have a delay, inside or outside of the bank. Third, the United States Constitution protects my right to stand there all day and conduct business if I so choose.

My post got truncated. And fourth...Missouri is a concealed carry state. If you approach me with a menacing demeanor if I happen to be holding up the line, either standing at the ATM or sitting in my car, be prepared to take a look at the deadly end of my firearm. Last...Brad, why don't you give up the journalism and go back to (mis)directing your department. Really...it's embarrasing.

Jarhead, you’re confusing this blog for journalism. It is not. It is meant to be entertainment. If you’re not entertained, then don’t read it. No one is forcing you.

Thank you for reading and feel free not to in the future.

When someone is waiting for my spot at Wal-Mart I have been know to load up my car and then head back into the store, just to aggravate that person

I generally park in the back of the parking lot, I may start walking my cart all the way back to the store

Jarhead,

Missouri is a carry-concealed state. Don't think you're the only one with a gun. If you think I'm "walking menacingly" towards you, it doesn't give you the right to brandish a firearm (which I'm pretty sure was covered during the carry-conceal course). You would be faced with charges for whipping out a gun when your life was not endangered. If a gun is pulled on me however, I will react quickly with lethal force, so don't be dumb.

If you have nothing better to do than stand at an ATM to irritate others, maybe you should spend more time in the express lane at wal-mart with 40 items paying with pennies.

Also, if you scare that easy you have no business carrying a firearm. It might be a little difficult to explain why you brandished a firearm because someone was getting in line behind you at an ATM.

FYI... Not too long ago Bank of America made changes to their ATMs - you no longer put your check in an envelope to feed into the slot, just insert the check directly into the machine, which scans an image and reads the amount. I suppose this is to cut down on processing time for customers and tellers and increase accuracy. However, trying to get the d**n check to go in properly is a real hassle. If the weather is damp or maybe the check has been folded, the machine will spit it back out. Repeatedly - no matter how you rearrange or flatten. GRRRR. My son tried to deposit 2 checks from work ... same check style, same printing, etc. First one scanned great but the second was never accepted. We had to go into the bank, negating the whole purpose of quick drive thru service. Luckily there was nobody behind us. And no, I don't drive a Buick :D

I've been reading your blog for a while now. You've got a great sense of humor, and can turn something mundane into a great post. Thanks for the chuckle!

The new ATM's took me a second to get used to as well. For some reason it really freaked me out to just stick a check in there without an envelope. There are also circumstances that can't be expected (like the ATM monster eating a check), that stuff happens and I can't imagine any logical person getting infuriated at someone because of an error like that.

Willy is my new hero.