- Cape Rolling Out Bloomfield Road Art Trail (8/21/19)1
- Donors Pledge Almost Two Grand To Replace SEMO's Possibly Sentient ‘Gum Tree' (8/16/18)
- SEMO and The Will To (Become A Consultant) – Part 2 (6/14/18)
- SEMO and The Will To Do (You Really Want To See That Legal Notice?) – Part 1 (6/4/18)
- Judge, Jury... Trashman (6/1/18)
- Diary of Cape Girardeau Road Deconstruction (5/11/18)
- Trying To Save A Tree From City “Improvements” (4/30/18)2
GSR Quest Week #8
Brad versus "Pearls Before Swine"
I've been reading newspapers since I was 6 or 7.
While what I've actually read in the papers has evolved over the years, the one constant has always been the "funnies." And no - for any smart alecks out there - I'm not talking about the editorial page. I'm talking about the comics.
Before I go any further, I probably should let you know that I don't read the comics in the Southeast Missourian. I read the ones that are printed in the St. Louis Post Dispatch.
Besides the fact, I've been reading their selection of comics for over 30 years - along with those published by the now defunct St. Louis Globe-Democrat - they offer a significantly larger choice than the Southeast Missourian.
And half of them are in full color. Ooooooh! Aaaaaah!
Anyhow, comic strips come and go in newspapers. Like blogs, some start repeating the same old gags (can you say, "Garfield") and lose their luster to a given paper's audience. Probably the only comics I still read that were around when I was a wee lad are Hagar the Horrible and Blondie.
They still make me laugh.
One comic that makes me really laugh on a daily basis is Pearls Before Swine. Sorry, but the Southeast Missourian does not use this cartoon. If you want to see a sampling of it, pick up a copy of the Post or thumb through one of the strip collections at Hastings or Barnes and Noble.
Pearls -- created in 2001 by Stephan Pastis -- follows the lives of a handful of animal characters. The characters featured in this Google Search Results comparison are:
Rat is a megalomaniacal rat -- imagine that -- who lives with Pig and basically is an ass to everyone else featured in the strip including Stephan Pastis who will -- on occasion -- draw himself into the comic. Rat is always cooking up some scheme that is usually questionable legally, morally, ethically or all three. Rat is like Donald Trump, but with better hair.
Pig is a kind-hearted pig -- imagine that -- who is very childlike and naïve. His dreams often get stomped on by Rat, but Pig never lets it get him down.
The Crocodiles are a bunch of dim-witted crocodiles - imagine that -- who are always trying to figure out how to kill Zebra -- who is not featured in this week's GSR comparison. The Crocs recently tried to nuke the Zebra with an illicit war-head. As usual, they were unsuccessful.
Guard Duck is a duck -- imagine that -- who Pig purchased when he couldn't afford a guard dog. Guard Duck is somehow channeling George S. Patton and is better armed than the US Seventh Calvary. He really makes me laugh.
And finally, the creator of the strip -- Stephan Pastis -- will occasionally insert himself into the comic as himself. Normally, Rat will be the only one who talks to him usually criticizing him for some awful pun he has had one of the other characters say.
As for me, I somehow managed to lose ground this week, dropping from 314 GSRs to 301 in the last seven days -- imagine that!
Damn you fickle Google Gods! Damn you!
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