GSR Quest Week #5
Brad versus A Christmas Story

For this week's Google Search Result update, I'm pitted against the beloved 1983 movie "A Christmas Story."

It never ceases to amaze me that such a sweet movie was made by Bob Clark, the same man who created the Porky's franchise. You know, "Porky's," "Porky's II: The Next Day", "Porky's III: Porky's Revenge", "Porky's 4: Porky and Bess" and "Porky's 5: Beyond Thunderdome."

Honestly, I think Bob Clark was running out of ideas towards the end of the series.

My wife and I always watch it -- "A Christmas Story" not any of the Porky's movies -- on Christmas Eve when TBS airs it for 24 hours. It's one of our traditions.

I was not surprised that Ralphie -- the iconic 9 year old who lusts for a Red Ryder BB gun for Christmas -- was the GSR leader this week, but I was by the Leg Lamp coming in second followed by the aforementioned rifle.

So much for the importance of actors.

The lamp especially surprised me.

I like to do an initial GSR test-run a few days prior to the final search that I show in the graphic that accompanies this blog. At that time, the lamp only had a little more than five thousand GSRs.

Somehow, in less than a week, it jumped over 100,000 GSRs! Maybe Paris Hilton mentioned that she had a pair of fish net stockings just like the lamp.

Pulling up the rear in the GSRs representing "A Christmas Story" is Scut Farkus.

He's the raccoon-hat-wearing bully with braces in the movie. It's not surprising the kid was a bully. Come on, his name is Scut. With a name like that you either get picked on, or you pick back. He chose to pick back.

Scut is not what you would call a common name. I wonder if his name was the result of one of those sick naming traditions that parents sometimes use to anoint their off-spring? You know, they name all their children beginning with the same letter or letters.

The Duggar family in Arkansas that is featured on a cable TV series takes this to the extreme. Parents Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar have 17 kids whose names all begin with the letter "J".

And they're expecting another in January. I wonder if they planned that? After all, it's a "J" month. I'm half expecting them to delay the arrival until February. After all, that's a ratings "sweeps" month for TV.

I think they should name this next kid Justenoughalready Duggar.

Perhaps Scut had a similar naming situation to the Duggars. Maybe he had some older siblings -- Scum, Scuz and Scud -- and the only acceptable name that was left when he was born was Scut.

That might also explain why he was a mean little sucker. If he had 3 older brothers -- I assume they are brothers, but Scuz could be a sister -- he probably got the tar beat out of him all the time at home.

Anyhow, Scut did not do so well in this week's GSR comparison.

How humiliating is it to be upstaged by a chocolate drink? And then he got his butt royally and literally kicked by a shoe. Ok, it was the Leg Lamp, but the leg is wearing a high-heel.

On a personal note, I can't explain my own GSR surge for this week. Perhaps, the blog on Adolph Hitler Campbell, the little kid with the awful name, helped.

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