- Cape Rolling Out Bloomfield Road Art Trail (8/21/19)1
- Donors Pledge Almost Two Grand To Replace SEMO's Possibly Sentient ‘Gum Tree' (8/16/18)
- SEMO and The Will To (Become A Consultant) – Part 2 (6/14/18)
- SEMO and The Will To Do (You Really Want To See That Legal Notice?) – Part 1 (6/4/18)
- Judge, Jury... Trashman (6/1/18)
- Diary of Cape Girardeau Road Deconstruction (5/11/18)
- Trying To Save A Tree From City “Improvements” (4/30/18)2
Blogging World Rocked By Corruption Charges
Hollerbach Arrested For Soliciting, Offering Bribes
The following is an excerpt from an audio transcript which the Federal Bureau of Blogger Investigations claims is proof that Brad Hollerbach both solicited and offered bribes for his blog. The F.B.B.I. has acted to stop any further corruption from occurring.
Profanity and the identify of the person having the conversation with Hollerbach have been redacted from the following.
Witness #1: I like your blog, Mr. Hollerbach.
Brad Hollerbach: Youse do? That's nice. What's it bleepin' worth to you?
W1: Huh?
BH: You know. How much will you pay for it?
W1: Pay for it? Why, it's a blog. It's available for free on a free website, Semissourian.com.
BH: Don't matter. I asked you, what's it bleepin' worth to you?
W1: Well, it's not worth anything. I just like reading it in the morning. It makes me laugh sometimes.
BH: Sometimes? What the bleep do you mean sometimes? It doesn't make you fall out of your chair with laughter while you read it over your breakfast cereal every bleepin' day?
W1: Well, no. It's a blog. It's on the computer. It's not in the paper. I don't eat my cereal in front of my computer.
BH: You gotta point about the paper thing. Well, maybe you should try eating your Captain Crunch in front of the computer sometime, tough guy. OK, so youse think this blogging thing is so easy? What's it worth to you to write it yourself?
W1: Write it myself?
BH: Yes. Get the bleepin cotton out of your mother bleepin ears. I said write it yourself. Let me spell this out for you bleeper. If you are not going to pay me to read my bleeping blog, then how much will you pay me for the privilege to write it? Cah-peeshe, you bleepin stupid bleeper?
W1: Geez, do you always use profanity like that? Uh, I'm sorry Mr. Hollerbach, but I don't want to write your blog.
BH: Ok, so let me get this straight. Youse don't want to pay me to read my blog or write my blog, right? Fine, I'll just keep my blog. It's a bleeping valuable thing. OK, well how much can I pay youse to give that Brian Blackwell fella some love taps on the knees?
W1: Brian Blackwell? The business blogger for SEMissourian.com. Are you wanting me to break his knee caps?
BH: Bleep no. Break is such a harsh word. I just want them bruised up a little bit.
W1: Why on earth would you want me to hurt him?
BH: Bleep. How stupid are you? Youse sez youse read my blog and you haven't noticed that most days his blog is first in line on the front page of the Semissourian.com. I'm usually second. He's bein' a little too busy for his own good. I want to send him a message. So how much?
Future blogs from Mr. Hollerbach will be available at TheIronyBehindTheBars.com.
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