From CG to NYC

Downtown Manhattan seen from Brooklyn Bridge Park.

"First, I traveled through the seven levels of the Candy Cane forest, past the sea of twirly, swirly gum drops, and then, I walked through the Lincoln Tunnel."

-Buddy the Elf, Elf

Like Buddy, I recently moved to New York City. Unlike Buddy, I did not journey through any forests or oceans of preposterously animate candies to get here, though I have been through the Lincoln Tunnel (Spoiler: It's slightly less enchanting than he makes it out to be).

No, I embarked on my own wondrous journey from my parents' house in downtown Cape Girardeau, Missouri to the swanky Upper West Side of Manhattan to live...in someone else's parents' house, specifically, my boyfriend's. If you've never resided in the home of a significant other's parents, you simply must try it: all the shame and disappointment of feeling like a 24-year-old child plus the straight-up awkwardness of sleeping in your lover's childhood bed. It's a tough job being a shamelessly mooching twenty-something, but somebody's got to do it. And what better place than New York City, where simple necessities like a pint of beer cost ten thousand dollars. Ok, not quite, but close enough.

My move to New York was at least as well thought out as my other life choices: not very. If I were to illustrate my decision process in a conversation with myself, it would look something like this:

"Should we move to New York City, the most expensive place in the country¹ without a job?"

"Sure."

"And no savings to speak of?"

"Naturally."

"And no place to live?"

"Of course."

And so it was. And is.

Will I ever find a job? A place to live? And most importantly, a pint of beer at a reasonable price? Tune in next time for the answers to these questions and so much more.

Also coming up on Neon Streets:

Rats as big as cats! Trains delayed by escaped convicts! Eight dollar Mcdonald's "value" meals!²

1) According to an August 2012 story from ABC News: This Millennial may be just another aimless leech on humanity, but one who does her research...after she's already made her decisions, of course.

2)That's right, eight bucks. Read it and weep. I know I did.