THE GIRLFRIEND FORMULA

"And the days went by like paper in the wind. Everything changed, then changed again.

- Tom Petty -

In 1977, at the age of just 13, I met 7 young girls that would transform my idea of what true friendship should be. At that time, on that day that we first met, none of us imagined that our little group of misfits would eventually grow into a circle of such diverse women, so strongly bound, so loyal, and so committed to our love for one another. With a little dash of support, a pinch of acceptance, a thimble of joy and a heaping spoonful of faith, our formulas mixed and matched perfectly. And from the growing pains of high school, through college; in our marriages and through a few divorces; the births of our children; raising our children, and now watching our children move away; as our parent's age and decline in health, through good times and in bad, we're all still together. The eight of us are still a force to be reckoned with. The proper girl, the 'fun' girl, the bohemian girl, the homemaker, the single mothers, the nurturers and the career minded. We are more united than ever. Whether standing by in body or in spirit, each of us knows that nothing and no one can come between the love and respect, care and concern that we have for one another. We are important. And, because of that, no matter where we live, what job we hold, or how many children we have at our feet, once a year, we meet up. And it doesn't matter where we end up each year, it's as though we've never been apart. The decibel level, almost deafening, as we find ourselves yelling over each other's stories and the screeching laughter that ensues right where it left off the year before, reminds us that we're never really too far away from each other. That laughter has actually gotten us kicked out of a few hotels in the past. Imagine the front desk at Tan-Tar-A, receiving phone calls about a large group of teenage girls making too much noise at 1:00 in the morning. Then, finding out that its women in their mid 40's that just sound like teenagers!

For the past 26 years, our rag-tag group has traveled to Las Vegas, Washington D.C., San Antonio, Arkansas,St. Louis, Chicago, Kansas City, Memphis, Nashville, Branson and beyond. Our families know that one time per year they will be left behind as we set out for the all important girls trip. Our husbands, significant others, children and coworkers are very aware that upon our return, we will likely be exhausted from the lack of sleep, a bit swollen from travel, have little voice left and ready to tell a few tales of our adventures. You see, even before Las Vegas had the slogan, 'What Happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas', we promised that what happened on girls' trip was cherished and not shared with the world. It's not like we have some freaky drum circle celebration around a fire or something. We just think that our stories and memories should be ours and ours alone.

We have a sisterhood, my girlfriends and I. We have seen the best in one another and the worst. They know my weaknesses and I know theirs. We are safety nets for one another. We provide free counseling to one another. We've listened unconditionally. We've cried. We've intervened. We've laughed. We've held each other through tragedy. We've celebrated joyous moments, however fleeting they may be. Life happens and sometimes, it doesn't happen 'nicely'. But no matter what changes in our lives, our bond has not. We understand that much like a good marriage, our joy and support, strength and love, is sincere and unwavering.

I don't think that any of us can ever dublicate the formula that made our friendships so steadfast. In fact, I'm not sure that we'd want to. Yes, we'll each have our own individual group of buddies that we are so truly thankful for and blessed to have found in our adult lives; those people that accept us as we are today, with each new friend etching a special place in our hearts. But, after 35 years, our little group of misfits takes up a special reserved chamber of memories and caring that cannot be replicated.

Sometimes, a new formula is great, but it's not quite as wonderful as the original.

(For Cindy, Shelley, Janet, Jennifer, Chris F, Julie and Chrissy)