Breaking Free from Maternal Depression

Around the same time several acquaintances were welcoming new babies, headlines focused on maternal and postpartum depression -- currently ranked one of the most common medical complications among pregnant and new moms, and considered detrimental to the health and safety of both mother and child.

An influential government-appointed health panel, recognizing that this problem often goes under-recognized and under-treated, now recommends more universal screening. Also recognizing the potential negative impacts of drug treatments on pregnant or nursing mother and child, the panel recommends more integration of mental health into women’s health care. And a prominent physician in the field encourages a litmus-test question: “Does she actually ever get well?” I deeply respect the collective effort to help mothers do more than just cope with the heaviness, but to break free from it.

Skimming the news stories brought back my own experiences of about two decades ago, which included similar aspects that I’d never paused to realize. The constant pace of my work and mothering responsibilities -- together with the stark contrast between them -- had often left me feeling exhausted, burdened and gloomy, rather than energetic and bright. But, in looking back, I also realized that I had both faced AND conquered “mommy blues.” I DID get well -- without mental health screening or treatments that weren’t yet proactively recommended, but through my own spiritual awareness and practice.

Reflecting on my own experiences, and gently inquiring about the experiences of my new-mom acquaintances, I discovered there does seem to be a pattern here. Not only are these feelings common, but it’s not unusual to “go it alone” and gloss over the problem.

I didn’t go it alone. Perhaps subconsciously and certainly informally, I allowed a support structure of playgroups and honorary aunts, uncles and grandparents to form around me -- lifting me up and moving me forward.

I also didn’t gloss over it. I turned to my faith in a power far more adequate than my own -- one that had relieved mental and physical burdens without fail throughout my life. A verse from James in the Bible was my stronghold: “Every good gift, and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of Lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.” This reassured me that this child was a gift from the Almighty, that because every gift ultimately came from the “Father of Lights,” it brought a sense of newness and freshness, and thus could not bring with it any volatility or downsides. I was reminded that I could rely on my Father-Mother-God to parent both me and my child(ren), and to maintain order, balance and blessing in every aspect of our lives.

As I consistently kept my thought focused on these ideas, the weight of burden lifted steadily, until it was overtaken by a freer rhythm, enabling me to experience the innate comfort and joy of family. This feeling has never been interrupted, my children say they felt unaffected, and these ideas have continued to be valuable as we embark on new phases together.

One of my friends, who has two very young children, shared what has helped her overcome feelings of heaviness. Quotes from two sources reminded her that caregiving can reward and invigorate rather than deplete us. One, from Galatians in the Bible, reads, “And let us not be weary in well-doing.” The other is from Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures by Mary Baker Eddy, a 19th century mother who overcame major parenting and professional challenges of her own: “Giving does not impoverish us in the service of our Maker, neither does withholding enrich us.”

Like my friend, I’ve found that when I acknowledge my Father-Mother-God as the source of my energy, balance, and happiness -- and recognize Him/Her as the giver of all the blessings in my life, including children -- I feel fully equipped with every ability and resource I need to fulfil my responsibilities with order, vigor, joy and freedom.