Speak Out: Facebook Parenting: For the troubled teen

Replies (96)

• I hope he doesn't get the urge to shoot up his own car if she sneaks it out sometime. :)

  -- Posted by Old John on Sat, Feb 11, 2012, at 1:09 PM

• Just my opinion of course, but seems to me that the kind of headstrong, opinionated father who would vent his frustrations by recording a video of himself shooting his daughters laptop and then pasting it to facebook would likely raise a headstrong, opinionated daughter who's likely to vent her frustrations on facebook.

  Just saying it doesn't seem that the apple has fallen very far from the tree.

  -- Posted by DADES on Sat, Feb 11, 2012, at 3:27 PM

• I loved it! He gave her respect.

  -- Posted by We Regret To Inform U on Sat, Feb 11, 2012, at 5:58 PM

• Adding... If he discharged the gun in a town, suggest he may find his bee-hind in jail.

  -- Posted by Me'Lange on Sat, Feb 11, 2012, at 6:00 PM

  Something we agree on. The gov't only allows gangbangers to fire guns in towns and cities without fear of repercussions from the law.

  -- Posted by FreedomFadingFast on Sat, Feb 11, 2012, at 6:17 PM

• gman, I have no children in this age range, so my opinion is of little value, the whole walking in one's shoes thing, but your approach seems reasonable.

  As to the man in the video, I don't think I would have shot the laptop, but that's about as far as I am going to go, I'm no expert and made a few mistakes along the way in parenting I am sure.

  -- Posted by 356 on Sat, Feb 11, 2012, at 6:48 PM

• And what should we do about over-reactors besides questioning their motives and state of mind?

  Mr. Jordan lives in a rural area as close to Frog Pond and Porter as he is to Ablemarle. He apparently is the man who pays the bills and feeds the family. It is his household and his child. If posting this video relieves his anger and disappointment, then it is much better than smoldering inside until something much more volatile happens. If his daughter doesn't like it (she has already said she will have nothing to do with him after she is grown),at least he will have had the satisfaction of having shown his disapproval. She can pay for any future therapy she has brought into need with her ugly public remarks about her parents.

  -- Posted by InReply on Sat, Feb 11, 2012, at 7:04 PM

• There is little to no evidence that this man broke the law, unless of course poor judgement is a prosecutable offense.

  The rural atmosphere of the background and suggesting that his daughter does little but get up in the morning and get on the bus does not suggest a city setting that would have laws against discharging a weapon.

  -- Posted by Have_Wheels_Will_Travel on Sat, Feb 11, 2012, at 8:52 PM

• Me'lange, Maybe you should offer your kick his butt to the curb services. They might make you an honorary county deputy or something. Or you could go there and sit in on some town hall meetings about the dire effects of humiliation on teen age girls.

  -- Posted by Old John on Sun, Feb 12, 2012, at 12:57 AM

• Should this man be held accountable if he broke the law?

  -- Posted by Me'Lange on Sat, Feb 11, 2012, at 6:50 PM

  I will leave interpretation of NC laws and prosecutorial discretion to the proper authorities in NC. I will leave the outrage to others more prone to that than I.

  -- Posted by 356 on Sun, Feb 12, 2012, at 6:07 AM

• Wheels, Did we watch the same video? Hardly rural, I saw a busy highway and at least two other houses and either a mobile home or pole barn in this video. Granted, he had a large yard (with bad grass).

  -- Posted by Me'Lange on Sun, Feb 12, 2012, at 12:37 AM

  I think the man was within his rights. Here is were he lives. I do notice the posters that thought he was out of line were liberal anti gunners.

  http://maps.google.com/maps?q=29043+Hartsell+Rd.+Albemarle,+NC&oe=utf-8&rls=org....

  -- Posted by We Regret To Inform U on Sun, Feb 12, 2012, at 8:18 AM

• Here is the liberals spewing their over the top ignorance.

  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y07pPoF1wsw

  -- Posted by We Regret To Inform U on Sun, Feb 12, 2012, at 8:50 AM

• " What forum is it appropriate for teens to share their feelings?"

  Uh, the kitchen table? :)

  I wouldn't be suprised if Rick is right. Maybe this was a school project for one of them modern taught classes.

  -- Posted by Old John on Sun, Feb 12, 2012, at 10:16 AM

• MeLange,

  In most cases, if he llives three feet outside the city/town/village limits, he is not subject to their rules and regulations. In some states, they have something called Police Jurisdiction. I currently am sitting here typing while I am several blocks outside the city limits of Gulf Shores, Alabama, I am required to follow their city ordinances.

  My comment was based on the fact that I saw a lot of rural area in the background, yes I saw the other buildings just as I could see my neighbors house when I grew up 7 miles from the nearest town, and he indicated his daughter got on a school bus to go to school. I don't believe he lives in town... I could be wrong. In any case it was merely an observation as it is none of my business what goes on in North Carolina, other than I have friends living there who are competent to tend to their own affairs.

  -- Posted by Have_Wheels_Will_Travel on Sun, Feb 12, 2012, at 10:29 AM

• Regrets,

  Did you notice the man lived not very far from "Booger Hollar Rd"?

  The youngster giving his assessment of the situation looks as if he has many, many years of study in human behaviour on his resume, and should be considered an expert.

  So far as the man being a cancer threat to be shyed away from.... did anybody notice the big commercial ashtray, whatever you call them, on the side of his deck. It is highly unlikely that he smokes in the house.... hope he doesn't run afoul of the town's anti-smoking regulations.

  -- Posted by Have_Wheels_Will_Travel on Sun, Feb 12, 2012, at 11:06 AM

• "He still fired a gun in town"

  MeLange, are you still contending that man lives in the town you named? Look at Regrets map and use the zoom feature to bring the town into focus. Those are roads not streets. The county I live in, St. Charles, has all of the roads named miles from an incorporated town. Lake of the Ozarks has all of the roads named, lettered or numbered. Came about with the advent of the 9-1-1 emergenccy numbers. Many were named before, many were renamed at the time.

  The man does not live in town and I would put money on it.

  -- Posted by Have_Wheels_Will_Travel on Sun, Feb 12, 2012, at 11:18 AM

• The internet/social media is really a dual edge sword. There are good things and bad things that can come as a result of ones actions. Case in point. This guy finds his "bad" girl post and then uploads a video thinking he may be the "good" guy. But instead he may have, by some of the previous post, dug himself into a legal hole if he did in fact discharge a weapon in city limits. Again, I have not walked in his shoes but since my daughter drives all I have to do is threaten yanking the keys to correct undesirable behavior and I have her full attention, not shot the car. It worked for me when I was a kid and I did not have a cell phone or laptop computer since they were not available or invented when I was 16. LOL. My dad would just mention the car and I would sit up straight in my chair.

  It really boils down to communication and respect between the kids and the parents or parent in some cases. If you let the kids determine what they can and will do without any consequences then life will be that much harder as they grow older and then wonder why they can't or get everything.

  I wish this guy and his family the best, considering that this video has raised so much attention, his/her actions may have driven a wedge in their relationship that may be difficult to resolve.

  -- Posted by gman on Sun, Feb 12, 2012, at 11:19 AM

• Children are gifts, not possessions.

  -- Posted by Me'Lange on Sun, Feb 12, 2012, at 9:02 AM

  On that we can agree.

  We have four children and are now watching them raise their own children doing the things and making the decisions they railed against as children.

  Parenting is hard and while I have met people claiming to be experts, even they will disagree.

  There is a new book out "Bringing up Bebe" (correct spelling)based on French parenting, so I guess we will have an addition to "Tiger Mom" and others.

  I have clearly stated I am no expert, so my opinion is of limited value.

  -- Posted by 356 on Sun, Feb 12, 2012, at 11:22 AM

• "I noticed he smoked, great example of behavior modeling "dad"."

  Careful there.... you are coming close to stepping on the toes of one your few supporters.

  I think we should arrest this man, and scourge him, and make him carry a cross, after which we nail him to it. Let us crucify him. Out of this ignorant conversation!!!!

  -- Posted by Have_Wheels_Will_Travel on Sun, Feb 12, 2012, at 11:24 AM

• Wheels, Did you notice there is one less hole in the laptop than shots fired?

  -- Posted by Old John on Sun, Feb 12, 2012, at 11:26 AM

• Didn't count Old John. Maybe he wasn't that good a shot... or maybe like Rick said, he staged it as the laptop wasn't dancing around and maybe he stuck some spots on the computer to make it look like bullet holes, and maybe he miscounted. ☺ ☺

  -- Posted by Have_Wheels_Will_Travel on Sun, Feb 12, 2012, at 11:31 AM

• He still fired a gun in town and communicated his means of coping with frustration with the world via youtube and facebook. (Honestly, I would love to learn the daughter was in on a prank, because I can not imagine an average teen surviving the world-wide humiliation and shame that this "dad" stirred.)

  -- Posted by Me'Lange on Sun, Feb 12, 2012, at 10:37 AM

  So this is all Daddy's fault? Of coarse he was not embarrassed by her posting and should have expected it. This is just more of a person that thinks children should not have responsibility adding to the growing problem of people thinking someone else should be taking care of them. As far as contacting the city I'm sure there are lots of other busybodies doing the same.

  BTW he lives 7 miles out of town.

  Rick and OJ

  It was real shots and the one round missing was a double hole. The guy did have good grouping. The bottom of the laptop would get the brunt of the damage.

  -- Posted by We Regret To Inform U on Sun, Feb 12, 2012, at 3:58 PM

• Now this kid has some smarts.

  http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&NR=1&v=VnB-KtX45lE

  -- Posted by We Regret To Inform U on Sun, Feb 12, 2012, at 4:04 PM

• "BTW he lives 7 miles out of town."

  Regrets,

  Wouldn't matter if he lived 7 inches out of town and there were no county regulations... he can shoot up $9 worth of amunition, as long as he is not endangering anyone or doing it at a time when it unreasonably disturbs the peace of others.

  How I wish he had used a baseball bat on that computer instead of a gun, then we could have started a movement to outlaw baseball bats and canceled next years World Series because they would surely be out of bats by then and no longer able to play.

  -- Posted by Have_Wheels_Will_Travel on Sun, Feb 12, 2012, at 5:57 PM

• Regerets,

  Oliver appears to be smarter than the average bear!

  -- Posted by Have_Wheels_Will_Travel on Sun, Feb 12, 2012, at 6:03 PM

• -- Posted by ~~Rick on Sun, Feb 12, 2012, at 5:16 PM

  Amen!

  -- Posted by Have_Wheels_Will_Travel on Sun, Feb 12, 2012, at 6:04 PM

• MeLange,

  Google Earth that area and see what kind of an environment it was. I doubt there were County Regulations against firing a gun. And past that, I do not see the man having anything other than "manufactured" issues to worry about. I wouldn't have handled it the way he did... but that little girl would be more concerned about how she was going to do some of the things other teenagers do if I were in charge. Until she learned how to contain herself, she would have no need of a drivers license until she was old enougn to vote and buy her own car. Reality needs to be brought to that entire family.

  Also wonder about that address as there doesn't seem to be a house at that address, unless of course it was built since 2008, the date of Google Earths picture. thaat might also be a reason for the poor lawn you were concerned with.

  -- Posted by Have_Wheels_Will_Travel on Sun, Feb 12, 2012, at 6:43 PM

• Mel

  You need to be worried about some wannabe gangsta kid in the street flailing a pistol horizontally over his head at you here. I dad had done something wrong he would already be arrested. Taking away legitimate owners guns will just make matters worse since the illegal gun owners don't care.

  While we are at it daddy says he wont talk to the media because he does not want to profit. He did an interview to pay legal fees to keep people from using the video for profit.

  The Dad and Daughter have now made a truce.

  I have a niece that did some similar things and hard parenting straightened her out. She is now OK. My sibling went to heck and back with her and it was mostly about computer use and lack of respect.

  -- Posted by We Regret To Inform U on Sun, Feb 12, 2012, at 10:10 PM

• Little doubt IRS will flag dad's bartered services/ income/ employee. Hopefully he has handled it appropriately.

  -- Posted by Me'Lange on Sun, Feb 12, 2012, at 7:15 PM

  Are you going to rat him out on that?

  -- Posted by We Regret To Inform U on Sun, Feb 12, 2012, at 10:16 PM

• Geeesh!!!!

  -- Posted by InReply on Sun, Feb 12, 2012, at 10:43 PM

• The IRS is not likely to get involved with something as small as this is.

  Let the person who has never swapped a little time to do something for a friend and accepts a favor that is returned, cast the first stone at this man.

  I helped a friend with a computer issue Saturday, and he bought me a drink. Are we obligated to declare this on our 2012 tax returns?

  -- Posted by Have_Wheels_Will_Travel on Mon, Feb 13, 2012, at 12:16 AM

• Wheels

  Some people just want someone they disagree with get burned. I'm smelling a man hater.

  Insomnia going away. Good night.

  -- Posted by We Regret To Inform U on Mon, Feb 13, 2012, at 12:41 AM

• Good grief, are we going to obsess over "bartering" whether it be formal or informal? I bush hog for my neighbor, he is receiving value without reporting it. Someone fixed my fence once and I don't even know who did it. People help people all the time, so do you really want IRS investigating people just because they did something totally unrelated that you don't like.

  Some people really need to get over this.

  FYI, I have family in NC and we have shot in their back yard often. I have a pistol range in my back yard in Missouri.

  -- Posted by 356 on Mon, Feb 13, 2012, at 7:00 AM

• A bit of over reaction by a few here. Kudos to this father if in fact this isn't a staged event.

  Frankly, I believe that is exactly what it is. I would have used my double barrel 12 gauge on the darn thing. Then I would have disconnected the wi fi or at the least, protected it with a password the Daughter could not retrieve. JMO

  -- Posted by GREYWOLF on Mon, Feb 13, 2012, at 9:47 AM

• This is reminiscent of Judge William Adams, and his "disciplining" of daughter Hillary.

  I don't think it is "man hating", Willy...but I wonder if it is female hating. Maybe there is something that a man can't stand when a young woman stands up to them....would be an interesting study.

  -- Posted by Theorist on Mon, Feb 13, 2012, at 5:54

  Adams beat his daughter. Is getting her laptop shot hurt her little inner child or is it you are a gun hater? Being a smart *** disrespectful kid leads to being an smart *** disrespectful adult. When your own daughter disrespects you publicly it can not be tolerated.

  -- Posted by We Regret To Inform U on Mon, Feb 13, 2012, at 10:03 AM

• I'm shocked that so many busybodies have decided to contact the city in an effort to have the man arrested for a crime they assume he committed based on their assumption of his location.

  Is this that 'moral responsibility' thing again? Is it really your 'moral responsibility' to contact the city whose city limits you think the man resides within and tell them you think he may have, at some point in the past based on a video you saw on the internet, violated an ordinace you think may apply?

  Do you think it possible the police might actually have bigger issues with which to trouble themselves?

  -- Posted by Shapley Hunter on Mon, Feb 13, 2012, at 10:12 AM

• "Maybe there is something that a man can't stand when a young woman stands up to them....would be an interesting study."

  How about we stick with reality. This is not a young woman. This is a spoiled adolescent teenager with no respect for herself or anybody. Fifteen year olds do not stand up to their Fathers on matters of discipline to begin with and with the vulgarity that she used... give me a break.

  Young women,(ladies) do not talk the way this brat did.

  -- Posted by Have_Wheels_Will_Travel on Mon, Feb 13, 2012, at 10:14 AM

• "Eventually all will beckon to their belief's or pay the price "

  I adamanently refuse to bow to a belief that I do not hold... and will only pay the price after a lot of foot dragging, and there is NO other way.

  -- Posted by Have_Wheels_Will_Travel on Mon, Feb 13, 2012, at 11:30 AM

• It's unbelievable that so many who defend a woman's right to kill flesh and blood have such a fit when a man kills a pile of metal and plastic.

  -- Posted by InReply on Mon, Feb 13, 2012, at 12:00 PM

• In

  Gun haters.

  -- Posted by We Regret To Inform U on Mon, Feb 13, 2012, at 12:07 PM

• Reply,

  Yes... and then stand there and defend a 15 year old brat and her mouth that would make a sailer blush.

  If either of my sisters had said anything similar, when my Father had finished with them they would have not been able to sit for a week.

  I might mention that neither of them has ever been in jail, nor to my knowledge were they ever in detention in school... cause I would have told on them, like they did me, just to get even. Tee he he!

  -- Posted by Have_Wheels_Will_Travel on Mon, Feb 13, 2012, at 12:13 PM

• I believe that those who incite people to contact the police station over a non-issue should be fined especially if it interferes with the police being able to conduct necessary business.

  -- Posted by InReply on Mon, Feb 13, 2012, at 12:38 PM

• Reply,

  Do you mean like being charged for filing a False Report? Now that would be funny. Maybe the little world of "Righteous Indignation" would learn to contain themselves until the facts are known.

  -- Posted by Have_Wheels_Will_Travel on Mon, Feb 13, 2012, at 12:42 PM

• The fact that half of you have turned this into OH THE POOR GIRL situatuion, need to step back and really see the situation, the kids these days are so lazy and so spoiled that they will never learn real discipline in any form becasue parents no a day are push overs, i think what this guy did was right, he called out his bratty kid for saying such hateful and dis-respecting things on facebook (which has become the root of all evil) thats not called for. kids have no respect these days what soever for there parents, i see it everyday, and he, unlike many other parents, chose to do something about it. who cares if it humiliated the teen, shes 15, she'll get over it and i guarentee you will never do it again, instead of "taking " her computer away and eventually giving it back im sure, he destroyed it, in a manner that was a little uncalled for, but non the less destroyed it to prove a point to his daughter that "hey i'm not gonna put up with your crap, humiliate me and it will happen right back " chill out on the situation ppl its done, its over, leave the guy alone!!!

  -- Posted by judgment82 on Mon, Feb 13, 2012, at 1:21 PM

• Reply,

  Do you mean like being charged for filing a False Report? Now that would be funny. Maybe the little world of "Righteous Indignation" would learn to contain themselves until the facts are known.

  -- Posted by Have_Wheels_Will_Travel on Mon, Feb 13, 2012, at 12:42 PM

  Precisely.

  -- Posted by InReply on Mon, Feb 13, 2012, at 2:03 PM

• MeLange,

  Specifically what crime did this guy commit? Was it a misdemeanor or a felony?

  You can leave out the boom boom because he did not fire his peashooter in town.

  -- Posted by Have_Wheels_Will_Travel on Mon, Feb 13, 2012, at 2:56 PM

• "InReply and Wheels, You are both entitled to your opinion. However, many would much rather error on the side of caution by reporting a suspected crime. Every law enforcement agency I've known encourage that behavior. Many feel it is a civic duty/ responsibility to do so. (And based on the initial reports, it happend within a city with an ordinance that forbid discharging a fire arm. To convict on a false report, I believe intent would have to be proved.)

  THeorist, Exactly! Even when a few of us "agree", the individual (not the topic) is still attacked. I've grown to take most of the comments with a grain of salt and embrace "it is, what it is".

  -- Posted by Me'Lange on Mon, Feb 13, 2012, at 2:33 PM

  Did you watch the same video I did? There was a field between the man and the road and the neighbor. There was a mobile home. He lives in North Carolina where people raise goats, pigs, chickens and grow gardens on as little as two acres because they are rural. And he stated he was either a current or former volunteer fireman.

  He was not hiding from local law enforcement or residents which we know by virtue of his utube posting. They probably have enough locals to make a report without someone from another state pushing residents in his/her own area to do so.

  Bragging that one refuses reproach does not tell the world that one is intelligent but, instead, willful and not bright enough to consider that one might be wrong. Sounds like his daughter, doesn't it?

  -- Posted by InReply on Mon, Feb 13, 2012, at 3:02 PM

• -- Posted by Me'Lange on Mon, Feb 13, 2012, at 3:09 PM

  And I stand by my previous post.

  -- Posted by 356 on Mon, Feb 13, 2012, at 3:13 PM

• The police and family services have visited Mr. Jordan. According to this link the police said, "Kudos"

  http://news.cnet.com/8301-17852_3-57376595-71/police-visit-facebook-dad-who-shot...

  Parents take heed, disciplining your children is still allowed.

  -- Posted by InReply on Mon, Feb 13, 2012, at 3:40 PM

• Well.... looks like the only way we are going to be able persecute... I mean prosecute Dad is to see if we can get the IRS to do it. What are the odds of that happening does one suppose. I would say zero to none.

  So the 15 year old sweetie-pie has only been living with Dad for 6 months. I would bet that Momma could not control her and sent her to live with her Father. So far as Momma giving a rats rear end about the laptop, remember what he said when he was dispatching the computer, and here is one for your Mother. I think a safe bet would be that Dad and Mom discussed this whole issue prior to it happening.

  Nice looking 45 he had there!

  -- Posted by Have_Wheels_Will_Travel on Mon, Feb 13, 2012, at 4:42 PM

• I raised three children from birth to what will be 53 in a few more months.

  If raised properly, they go from being soft and cuddly, to little hellions bent on destruction of one's sanity, to totally rebellious to being decent adult citizens and loving adults who would do anything for you and who try very hard to show their appreciation for what you gave them. These stages seem to last for varying periods of time. For a period of time the oldest went through a phase where she felt it necessary to test me every night at the dinner table. No I didn't squeeqe her neck until her eyeballs popped out, but God knows it was tempting a time or two. We are best friends now and I get my satisfaction watching her go through the same thing with her teenagers.

  -- Posted by Have_Wheels_Will_Travel on Mon, Feb 13, 2012, at 5:34 PM

• Wheels, maybe she wasn't testing you so much as enjoying what she saw as her opportunity to have a conversation with a real adult. My best memories are of the afterdinner gabfests my dad and I had. Just as I thought I was winning the debate, he would switch sides and I would find myself arguing his point. I'm "mixfused" (as Rick says) to this day and I have an uncanny ability to see both sides. Sometimes it makes it hard to take a stand.

  -- Posted by InReply on Mon, Feb 13, 2012, at 5:58 PM

• Reply,

  Likely you are correct... but it all worked out well, thank the Lord. It did serve to toughen her up. She is all of 5'4" and will back down from no one in a game of mental fisticuffs, if she thinks she is correct.

  -- Posted by Have_Wheels_Will_Travel on Mon, Feb 13, 2012, at 6:59 PM

• However, many would much rather error on the side of caution by reporting a suspected crime. Every law enforcement agency I've known encourage that behavior. Many feel it is a civic duty/ responsibility to do so.

  -- Posted by Me'Lange on Mon, Feb 13, 2012, at 2:33 PM

  Some want to be a good Nazi and tell on people. The video has 22,088,565 hits with 241,000 likes and 21,000 dislikes. I'm sure out of that 21K about 1000 people sent an email to the police wanting blood without knowing to full story.

  You and Ther were shocked to see a MAN pull out a GUN and shoot the laptop. That equals man and gun haters. Previous posts over the last few years indicate you two lean toward that.

  It kind of like the guy that was arrested for the Atlanta Olympics bombing because people and even a university said it had to be him. It ruined his life. If someone does that to me and I will haunt them with lawsuits the rest of their life.

  -- Posted by We Regret To Inform U on Mon, Feb 13, 2012, at 7:39 PM

• if im going to discipline my child its going to be in whatever way i want, no person, or law or cop will tell me different, personal discipline has become so public that you cant even raise your own kid without people freaking out over stuff, and thats why kids are the way they are these days, i'll bust my kids butt in public and if anyone has anything to say about it, you'll be next. same situation with this guy, only he went viral as they say, do you realize how many kids post dumb videos on youtube and nothing is ever done, and one father calls out his daughters idiot decision and now hes a "bad person" this worlds views are all effed up these days, get over it ppl

  -- Posted by judgment82 on Tue, Feb 14, 2012, at 8:06 AM

• Heads-up, don't behave in a way that others suspect a crime has been committed and you will not have to worry about whether they called the police and/or protective services.

  -- Posted by Me'Lange on Tue, Feb 14, 2012, at 5:56 AM

  I don't kowtow to to the threats of police action if I take my 3 mile walk at 8pm because someone may think I am a stalker.

  You had this guy pegged and the police and the Social workers said good for him. It's just like a bunch of small town gossipers looking for some dirt on someone. We see it every time we check out at the grocery store. The Star, N. Enquirer, The Truth, etc.. Now maybe that guy was possessed by an alien.

  -- Posted by We Regret To Inform U on Tue, Feb 14, 2012, at 8:55 AM

• What I am sick of hearing is about how this little darling was mentally abused, how she was humiliated. Any kind of punishment is some form of mental abuse and humiliation if you want to push the definition far enough. Sitting in the corner while your siblings snicker at you when your parents aren't looking is humiliation. A little humility never hurt anyone.

  This little juvenile delinquent wannabe needed shock treatment and she got it. It will in the long run make her realize there are consequences for your actions. If she remembers this the rest of her life, so be it. A lesson learned should not be forgotten.

  True parenting is not some textbook learning, authored by a writer who there is a strong possibility never raised a child and went through all of the heartaches involved. We have reached the point of Dr. Spock on steroids in this country.

  I think this child has some issues and they better be resolved before she gets any older. Sounds like she spent at least some of her formative years with a Mother who could no longer cope and turned her over to Daddy to straighten her butt out. Sounds like he is on the way to doing just that.

  And worry about HER precious laptop? That girl doesn't work and I am 99% positive that laptop was purchased with Daddy and or Mommy's money. Ever heard the words, "The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away"? Insert "parent" for "Lord".

  -- Posted by Have_Wheels_Will_Travel on Tue, Feb 14, 2012, at 9:49 AM

• i fully agree wheels

  -- Posted by judgment82 on Tue, Feb 14, 2012, at 11:08 AM

• Well at least we have gone from accusations of high crimes to bad parenting.

  I was an expert on child rearing until I actually had some. Even after raising several I am hesitant to advise others on how to raise theirs.

  -- Posted by 356 on Tue, Feb 14, 2012, at 2:45 PM

• You also shouldnt have to be a parent to understand not all folks can or should raise their children in a way deemed appropriate by others.

  If little Jonny acts out his parents may try things such as talking about right and wrong, time-outs, taking away privilages etc. This may work for Jonny, and if so great. If Jonny continues his bad behavior should the parents just chalk him up as a lost cause? Should they try to find what Jonny will actually respond too? He may respond to a spanking or even a stupid youtube video meant to embarass him publicly much like his parents had been embarassed by him. It may be what shows Jonny how one family member acting ignorant or inappropriate can affect the entire family.

  With all that said, if this video is real and not just a publicity stunt, this guy is a idiot. Not for embarassing the daughter, but for destoying a item someone, possibly him, spent hard earned money on.

  -- Posted by Joe Dirte on Tue, Feb 14, 2012, at 3:43 PM

• When you think about it, wouldn't you agree that, if this teenager is so deadset on having things her own way, she should file for complete emancipation?

  -- Posted by InReply on Tue, Feb 14, 2012, at 5:25 PM

• As a mother of a 14 year old daughter and a 19 year daughter I know exactly how these kids can post things on facebook that should never be on there. I have seen language come from a kid that even a grown adult wouldn't use and a lot of the parents can see nothing wrong with it and allow it to happen.

  As far as this situation first it wasn't the first time the kid had done such a thing and second the degrading way she was talking about her parents and the friend that cleans for them is something that she didn't have the right to do. As with most smart aleck teens she thought she was above getting caught/punished and did as she pleased with no regards to the consequences of those actions. Maybe the father broke the law by firing the gun and maybe he didn't but in todays time I applaud any parent with enough balls to stand up to their kid and give them consequences for their actions instead of patting them on the back and trying to be their friend.

  Shooting the laptop would have been the least of my kids worry as I would have handed them a sledgehammer and made them bust it into a million pieces and then go get me a cup of coffee just for making that remark.

  -- Posted by semoangel70 on Tue, Feb 14, 2012, at 6:10 PM

• Me'Lange, she's only a few months from 16, the legal age at which a child can seek emancipation although, I would think that maturity and/or circumstances might warrant earlier application. The age used to be younger. It seems that as America ages it's idea of adulthood does as well.

  For another thought--in the late 1800's, the age of consent was as young as 10 in some states. Could it be that we have made a mistake trying to keep all children in the nest until 18 or 21.

  -- Posted by InReply on Tue, Feb 14, 2012, at 6:14 PM

• I was skipping along the cyberspace path, researching something totally unrelated when I hit on a link to this post. It deals with the video and is a blogger's response. She also took action, albeit of a different nature.

  http://www.blogher.com/father-hannah-who-posted-%E2%80%9C-my-parents%E2%80%9D

  -- Posted by InReply on Tue, Feb 14, 2012, at 8:01 PM

• Melange,

  First of all, when you start lecturing a parent who has successfully raised three children on the proper techniques, expect a response. You have set yourself up as the expert, the final authority on the issue. I disagree with it! There is a time for talking and reasoning with a child and there is a time for other methods. Notice I did not say beating the child... I said other methods. While I would not handle it the way this guy did, as I have said before, I would have done more than reason with this spoiled brat. This child was obviously past the reasoning stage. You have used that humiliation card before, and it is NOT always a negative.

  I have done more than talk the talk, I have walked the walk. This is NOT about you and the fact that you are unable to have children. I have a number of family members who have adopted, for the same reason, and just because your experience and expertise on the issue is questioned does not mean people are poking sticks at you. That as I see it is a defensive move on your part to get another party to back off and let you be the final word on the issue.

  I am sorry that you cannot have children if you really wanted them, but it does not change the fact that I have experienced the joy, pain and sorrow associated with child rearing and losing one at 8 months old. The fact that you think I and others have no knowledge of how to handle a rebelious child, when we have experienced it, and you think you have all the answers, disturbs me.

  I am sorry if this upsets you, but if you can dish it out, you should have a thick enough skin to accept a reasoned response.

  -- Posted by Have_Wheels_Will_Travel on Tue, Feb 14, 2012, at 8:04 PM

• I always thought you had a son since you talked about going to his races. My sis-in-law cannot have children but has adopted so I know how emotional it can get if people say the wrong thing at a family function. This is a open forum and people should know they will be attacked for their posts if someone disagrees.

  My children have survived their raising and on their way to being productive citizens. My daughter almost has her masters and carried a 4.0 all the way. The other is not that high but tries and has never been a problem. I have disciplined my daughter in public and I meant for her to be humiliated and it worked. Tough love doesn't mean you hit them but you can't let them do anything wrong without immediate discipline. I still remember the preacher talking about Dr. Spock when I was young and I thought Spock had a good idea. I'm glad my parents didn't.

  -- Posted by We Regret To Inform U on Tue, Feb 14, 2012, at 8:36 PM

• Me'Lange,

  I applaud your efforts at advocating for children. However, methinks the possibility exists that you may be overcompensating...

  -- Posted by Shapley Hunter on Tue, Feb 14, 2012, at 8:37 PM

• Me'lange

  Yes it might be more about anger but trust me when you work your butt off to give your kids a good life and then they act this disrespectful tot he point of feeling like you owe it to them it can send a parent over the edge to anger real quick.

  There really is no easy solution to matters like this and many times the "consequence" of actions will depend on the child. I remember a few years ago I told my son the next time he left his video game scattered all over the livingroom for me to trip over I was going to throw it out the front door well he didn't believe me and left it in the middle of the floor so imagine his surprise (and the neighbors)when I opened the door and threw the entire system outside in the rain BUT from that day on he has never left anything of importance to him laying around. It was my anger that made me throw it out but that anger stemmed from his total disrespect for what I said and what his father and I worked to provide.

  By the way feeling great even back to working full-time again

  -- Posted by semoangel70 on Tue, Feb 14, 2012, at 8:55 PM

• Angel,

  It is good to hear from you again. Happy Valentines Day! I have thought of you often over the months and meant to write a note, but you know about the path to hades.... paved with good intentions. Get distracted and at this age the thought gets lost for a week or a month ;-(

  I would bet you are a great Mother and would bet you and the children's Father have a lot of love and respect for you from your children, in spite of the fact that you have to show them a little tough love now and again.

  Fair treatment is as important as anything in dealing with a child who is pushing the limits. And the little darlings will do just that.

  -- Posted by Have_Wheels_Will_Travel on Tue, Feb 14, 2012, at 9:05 PM

• Hi angel. I thought we would never hear from you again.

  -- Posted by We Regret To Inform U on Tue, Feb 14, 2012, at 9:45 PM

• -- Posted by Have_Wheels_Will_Travel on Tue, Feb 14, 2012, at 8:04 PM

  I couldn't have said it better, but apparently some people can't handle it when someone else disagrees with them.

  Bottom line is if you really want children, you can have them, raise and love them even if their is no biological connection.

  It is a choice to remain childless. Maybe this one will get deleted too, but I stand by my original one.

  -- Posted by 356 on Wed, Feb 15, 2012, at 5:38 AM

• You are not the person I thought you were.

  -- Posted by Me'Lange on Wed, Feb 15, 2012, at 6:56 AM

  You obviously don't know as much as you think you do. I have gone back a ways in the posts and see this is nothing new.

  -- Posted by 356 on Wed, Feb 15, 2012, at 8:41 AM

• Wheels

  Hope all is well with you and the family!

  I am very thankful my kids are turning out to be respectful and well grounded kids in todays world. It hasn't been easy as you know and more than once I have thought maybe I am being to hard on them, then I see a story like this and that thought goes away. i still think if keep a kid busy with sports, school activities and family then there is no time for trouble with social sites, drugs or other trouble but as the youngest is only 12 we still have a lonnnngggg way to go!!!!

  356

  I disagree it is not always a choice to remain childless. I have a family memeber that cannot have children biologically and they have been trying to adopt for the last 5 years. They would give anything for a baby but the lists are long and babies are few and if you cannot afford the extravagent fees for an international adoption you have no choice but to wait and pray. Others would love to adopt a child are finacialy secure and have health issues that would prevent it so no it is not always a choice.

  -- Posted by semoangel70 on Wed, Feb 15, 2012, at 9:15 AM

• I agree that the decision to remain childless is not always a choice. Nor is the decision on the number of children a couple has. Just because couple succeeds in delivering one child does not mean they can produce others.

  Fertility services are not always effective, nor affordable.

  Infertile couples can sometimes adopt, but that is not guaranteed. Adoption requires approval of the adoption agencies, and their criteria can sometimes be questionable. Adoption of non-relatives through normal channels is sometimes too costly for couples.

  There is financial assistance available to some who wish to adopt, but that does not mean all will qualify, or even know where to look.

  -- Posted by Shapley Hunter on Wed, Feb 15, 2012, at 9:41 AM

• But, it is really hard to swallow when others condemn, ridicule and devalue well-intended efforts and interest.

  -- Posted by Me'Lange on Tue, Feb 14, 2012, at 6:40 PM

  The phrase, 'judge not lest ye be judged' comes to mind. You tracked down his location and contacted his local authorities because you judged his parenting skills based on an 8 minute YouTube video.

  You have my condolences for your inability to conceive. However, wanting to be a good parent doesn't make you a good parent or an authority on parenting, as evidenced by your comment, "I find it disturbing that anyone "liked" his behavior." You've obviously never had your heart torn out by a careless comment made by a teenager. You work hard your whole life to love, support and provide for your child. You try to teach them wrong from right and a strong work ethic. And you spend exorbitant amounts of money buying them things they don't really need, like an iPhone, Xbox, or a new laptop because you love them and for a few moments your daughter will look at you like you're the greatest parent in the history of the whole universe...then you ask them to put the dirty dishes in the dishwasher and suddenly you're a slave-driving tyrant because they had to do the exact same thing yesterday.

  I'm just saying it can be frustrating at times when your kid behaves in a way that runs contrary to the principals you try to instill in them and expect of them. You can talk to them, but that doesn't always work. You can ground them, but that doesn't always work either. So you do whatever you feel, as a parent, is necessary to reach them and teach them the lessons they will need in life. And I've known more than a few parents who've had to go to similar cathartic extremes to try to get through to their child. So it doesn't surprise me that many people have 'liked' his behavior or that your in the minority in believing his behavior as intrinsically wrong.

  But what's interesting for me is, do you think when she is grown up and married will she put 6 rounds in the TV if she thinks her husband is spending too much time on the couch?

  -- Posted by DADES on Wed, Feb 15, 2012, at 10:34 AM

• -- Posted by semoangel70 on Wed, Feb 15, 2012, at 9:15 AM

  OK, maybe always was not in every single case, but it has been my experience it is in just about all. If you want to be a parent badly enough there are plenty of kids in need, if you are not holding out for a newborn, I have family members who have done this.

  I have counseled people in this and they have shot down just about every option other than a relatively new infant with some being so specific as to hair color.

  I also know a lot of people who have been foster parents which is great for many people including those who are of an age no longer acceptable for a conventional adoption.

  A lot of people just talk the talk or have made life choices which created a situation in which they would not be good candidates.

  For those who truly are unable to do anything to be able to be a parent in any form then they have my sympathy.

  -- Posted by 356 on Wed, Feb 15, 2012, at 11:36 AM

• But what's interesting for me is, do you think when she is grown up and married will she put 6 rounds in the TV if she thinks her husband is spending too much time on the couch?

  -- Posted by DADES on Wed, Feb 15, 2012, at 10:34 AM

  Probably not but if so I hope she takes it outside. What he did seems to have worked. People are tired of getting the same old words of wisdom that does not work, which is "don't upset their inner child". Sometimes the inner child needs more than kind words.

  I feel you have until age 6 to instill good behavior or you will have a long road to follow. This girl was out of control and I personally know what that can do to a family. I saw my dad lose his temper and kick a door one time but I have never kicked a door.

  A in-law stomped her kids Atari game to ruination on time because they didn't listen to her many moons ago. The boys will tell you it worked. One is a Doctor at Barnes and the other is a dentist in Springfield Mo. in case someone thinks they are now in prison for murder.

  -- Posted by We Regret To Inform U on Wed, Feb 15, 2012, at 1:24 PM

• Sometimes the inner child needs more than kind words.

  -- Posted by We Regret To Inform U on Wed, Feb 15, 2012, at 1:24 PM

  I agree

  I think every child is different. For some, all you need is love, peace and chicken grease. But for others it's spare the rod and spoil the child. I don't think either approach is wrong. You just have to find something that works and tailor it to your child and your own style.

  Your Atari story reminds me of a friend of mine from high school. His dad destroyed his Atari but he eventually got a new one. So his dad rewired his house so that he could cut the power to just his sons room. They didn't have central heat/air so it made for some cold winters and warm summers when he was in trouble.

  -- Posted by DADES on Wed, Feb 15, 2012, at 2:25 PM

• And today in North Carolina it was announced that state workers in all their wisdom removed a child's turkey sandwich and apple juice brought from home and replaced it with chicken nuggets and milk, citing USDA guidelines as their reason for doing so. The child was apparently told her meal was unfit fare.

  -- Posted by InReply on Wed, Feb 15, 2012, at 4:18 PM

• Dang Dades I don't want to agree with you. What would people think?

  -- Posted by We Regret To Inform U on Wed, Feb 15, 2012, at 4:23 PM

• Dang Dades I don't want to agree with you. What would people think?

  -- Posted by We Regret To Inform U on Wed, Feb 15, 2012, at 4:23 PM

  That's right Regret. You're becoming one of us. Join me on the dark side, BWA-HA-HA-HA!

  -- Posted by DADES on Wed, Feb 15, 2012, at 4:48 PM

• A simple logic to follow is you are NEVER going to be a perfect parent nor are you EVER going to have a perfect child. In the last 19 years I have learned parenting is more hard work than any job you will ever get BUT if you do not respect your kids it is hard for your kids to respect you!

  -- Posted by semoangel70 on Wed, Feb 15, 2012, at 4:54 PM

• Angel,

  Meeting you personally, and getting to know what kind of person you are... it is my opinion that you are well respected by your children.

  -- Posted by Have_Wheels_Will_Travel on Wed, Feb 15, 2012, at 5:17 PM

• Angel

  Very good post.

  -- Posted by We Regret To Inform U on Wed, Feb 15, 2012, at 5:36 PM

• Wheels

  Thank you. I brag on my kids all the time because I know they have it rough with my health issues. They have had to do a lot more than their friends and I am very proud of them for that. I know when they are grown they will know what is to be responsible and to care for others.

  We regret

  My father told me that advice when I first became a parent and was determined I was going to do everything perfect. If I would have kept trying to be the perfect parent I would have missed all the fun (and sometimes pain) along the road

  -- Posted by semoangel70 on Wed, Feb 15, 2012, at 5:46 PM

• Me'Lange

  A big problem with social services is they often over-step. It is a normal reaction to want to make sure a child is safe most of us would do the same thing but did you know in this state if your child is molested OUTSIDE of your home by someone not even related to you or around your remaining family CPS has to investigate the parents and siblings as well even after the child molested has given a statement to authorities and said who did what when. If you spank your child, and I do mean spank not beat, someone can hotline you and you are investigated for abuse. Kids today know all they have to do is make a call and mom/dad are the ones in the hotseat so some gray areas are getting even grayer!

  -- Posted by semoangel70 on Wed, Feb 15, 2012, at 6:56 PM

• In most cases yes there is no harm from a simple visit kind of if you have nothing to hide why worry about it however in some cases it is tramatic for the child/children if it is an over zealous worker.

  As to the molestation situation....the cops already knew the entire deal AND had the man in custody when the child was interviewed at NASV. The parents was trying to keep it all quiet with their other kids as the one was already upset enough and didn't want them to know. When got home from NASV CPS was at the door waiting and had to interview all the other children and the parents informing the other kids of what was going on to make a bad situation worse for the actual victim THAT is over-stepping.

  -- Posted by semoangel70 on Wed, Feb 15, 2012, at 7:28 PM

• I've heard comments about unconditional love as the first and most foremost requirement regarding child rearing. Allow me to try to make a point if you will. And I say "try" because I'm not sure I fully understand my own point.

  In the small community I grew up in, one family name was associated with high achievers in school. I was the black sheep in my family when it came to grades. It was easy to get by with little effort and no one could give me a reason to excel as my older siblings did.

  But back to this family I mentioned, the grandparents had an average sized brood in the day and they all gained the highest awards in school. Their many grandchildren also all graduated high school with honors.

  Why is that? Could it be that love is percieved by the children as a bit conditional?

  What is in it for the children, so to speak, to want to please their parents with good grades and above average admirable behavior?

  Could it be the simple idea that meaningful love is much sweeter when earned?

  Nothing to with facebook, just thinking out loud.

  -- Posted by Old John on Wed, Feb 15, 2012, at 7:33 PM

• Not only will most parents wonder if they should or could have handled a situation differently, most kids will either regale one another with their tales of daring-do and out-smarting mom and dad or hide the fact that they rue their actions.

  It isn't until we are adults and long divorced from the affair that we can begin to evaluate what really went on. That's when we make decisions about the kind of parent we will be if we consciously do so at all.

  Some of the most successful families I know have always played it by ear.

  -- Posted by InReply on Wed, Feb 15, 2012, at 7:34 PM

• Old John, we cross-posted. I like what you said. It's something I've thought about more than once.

  My folks set expected goals. Anything over that was laudable but unnecessary in order to maintain peace and acceptance. As an adult, I have often wished they had been more exacting.

  One of my closest friends, our valedictarian, was expected to be the highest achieving in her class. She would not have disappointed her parents at any cost.

  -- Posted by InReply on Wed, Feb 15, 2012, at 7:48 PM

• For example, why can a student bring cupcakes to the classrrom from My Daddy's cheesecake and not home-made cupcakes for their birthday or Valentine's party?

  -- Posted by Me'Lange on Wed, Feb 15, 2012, at 6:16 PM

  Because cupcakes and other food has been laced with drugs and other things.

  -- Posted by We Regret To Inform U on Wed, Feb 15, 2012, at 8:11 PM

• would it not be possible to lace storebought cupcakes and other food?

  -- Posted by Shapley Hunter on Wed, Feb 15, 2012, at 8:46 PM

• This whole thread gives me a headache!

  To what Angel said and the Child Protective Services. It is obvious their routine was established by a committee, dedicated to a one size rule fits all situations.

  Wonder how many people involved in the rule making process were parents?

  And once the abuser was in custody, what was the function of the Child Protective folks... make sure the injured is hurt a little further? Nothing else appears to have been served.

  -- Posted by Have_Wheels_Will_Travel on Wed, Feb 15, 2012, at 9:04 PM

• Allowing a mother to bring home made cup cakes could be harmful to some children. Not every child has a mother that can make home made cup cakes and that could be reason for lack of self esteem in some children leading to extra expense for the school district. We wouldn't want that now, would we?

  -- Posted by Old John on Wed, Feb 15, 2012, at 9:08 PM

• would it not be possible to lace storebought cupcakes and other food?

  -- Posted by Shapley Hunter on Wed, Feb 15, 2012, at 8:46 PM

  I guess they could Shap.

  -- Posted by We Regret To Inform U on Wed, Feb 15, 2012, at 9:51 PM

• I was made fun of when Mom's lack of hair cutting skills were obvious. When I got a job I started going to a real barber. Seems like yesterday I got to thinking, 'I ain't trying to impress any girls so why pay for something I can do my self'. Ain't been to a barber in years and it probably shows but as long as old woman don't complain I'm happy! Mom wasn't all that bad a barber after all.

  -- Posted by Old John on Wed, Feb 15, 2012, at 9:57 PM

• I decided to cut my hair one time. Mom finished it with a buzz cut. Never did it again.

  -- Posted by We Regret To Inform U on Wed, Feb 15, 2012, at 10:36 PM